Thursday, August 4, 2022

Biting My Tongue, Biding My Time


I got to work on the peaches that Jessie gave me today after I took a walk. I peeled them and roughly chopped them, added sugar, and lemon juice, and cooked them down into a nice consistency for preserves. 


I had enough to make three pints and two half pints. They all came out of the canner and sealed nicely.


I actually sort of followed a recipe for proportions of peach to sugar to lemon juice and I think there may be too much of the lemon juice. I do love the flavor or lemons but I did not want it to overwhelm the peaches. Mr. Moon is the one who most likes the peach preserves so I'll have to see what he says. I imagine that spread on a biscuit it'll be fit, as Lis would say, as in "fit to eat." 
Lily has a sand pear tree and is getting fruit this summer. I want to get some of them to make pear preserves with. Now THAT is something I do truly love. Sand pears are harder than apples and have a grit to them. A lot of people think of them as trash trees and just leave the pears to the squirrels but I think that the grit of the flesh makes the preserves so much better. I spice them the way I'd spice apples with cinnamon and nutmeg, a little lemon, and of course sugar. They make a damn fine pie, too. 

So here I am talking about food again. Food is so easy to talk about. 
"We planted this." "I picked this." "I cooked that." 
Etc. 
It's a constant and most of us love to eat and many of us enjoy cooking so there is always that. 
But there is more to life. 

I'm having a bit of a struggle right now. I wake up anxious and I go to bed anxious and while I'm asleep I bite my tongue. I have a mouth guard and I have been wearing it regularly but last night I just did not want a mouthful of plastic in my mouth all night and left it out and subsequently woke myself up with the sharp pain of a chomped tongue three or four times. It's a weird pain, and any pain that wakes one up from a deep sleep is shocking and for a millisecond, a bit scary. I do not like it. And I keep wondering- is there something I need to say to someone that I am not saying and quite literally biting my tongue about? We all know that there is no doubt a mind-body connection that is as real as rain. Stress leads to so many physical symptoms and so many different sorts of pain that our body reveals to us in ways that we would do best to figure out. 
Chiropractors and massage therapists would probably all go out of business if people who were experiencing a stressful pain-in-the-neck problem didn't often find themselves with real and true and measurable pains in the neck and back too, for that matter. 
Our guts of course reflect our emotions directly. Fear and anxiety can lead to stomach pain, diarrhea, nausea, and vomiting, not to be crude, but they can and do. 
Chronic and situational anxiety can, in fact, lead to many physical disorders ranging from insomnia to suicidal ideation to panic attacks that send the sufferer to the ER, convinced they are having a heart attack with sweating, pain, difficulty in breathing, rapid pulse, and a sense of doom. 
Our bodies reflect our minds. If we are depressed, our bodies tell us that we need to sleep, that any actions we may try to take to feel better are as hopeless and helpless as our thoughts are. 

I am not telling anyone here anything that they do not know. And taken from a different perspective, these mind-body connections are fascinating and when we can recognize that what we are experiencing in our bodies is quite possibly a reflection of what is going on in our minds, it bodes us well to try and figure that shit out. 

Please note that I am not a supporter of the theory that all of our physical ailments are caused by emotions. I do not believe that negativity or hate leads to cancer, for example. I've known too many people who, if that were true, would have gotten the disease but did not, while I've seen people who were absolutely the most light and loving of spirit and mind get it. 

Which is a very, very long and winding road to me wondering what it is that I need to say to someone so that I will quit this horrible biting of my tongue. I've been having headaches too, very mild but unusual for me, and I think that all of the muscles of my face are as tight as banjo strings, especially the ones in my jaw.
My biting muscles. 

Have you experienced any notable examples of this mind/body connection? And of course it works both ways. When we feel good and calm and peaceful and satisfied our bodies often feel their best too. The aches and pains may subside if they are caused by our emotions, our feelings. And it is worth mentioning that chronic pain caused directly by physical problems can drain our energy, our joy in life, our desire to keep on living. 

Well. Theses are things I'm thinking of today as I struggle with my emotions. 

Here's a cheerful picture. 


Violet laid another egg today. 
That sweet old thing. 

Okay. Back to food. I better go make some. Clam spaghetti, salad, and warmed-up leftover sourdough for tonight. In case you were wondering. 

Love...Ms. Moon

26 comments:

  1. I've tried all sorts of contraptions to control my mouth problems. I suck my tongue to the point it is so sore that it feels like it's on fire. I wear a mouth guard all the time on my bottom teeth. It keeps things calmer. I also take medication for my anxiety. Nothing really helps. Oh, and I chew a lot of ice.

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    1. I used to chew ice all the time but a decade or so ago the desire to do so just completely left me. But my kids still talk about how I'd go to certain drive throughs to get a diet coke just because I like their ice so much. I don't drink diet cokes any more either. Can't stand them.
      Isn't it interesting how we put emotions in our mouths as well as our backs and heads and guts? I'm so sorry that you have that problem. It sounds awful. My tongue burns too sometimes from all the chewing I do on it.

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  2. Your description of anxiety is spot on. I find I get a sore throat if I am not saying something I feel I should. It's not a viral sore throat feeling - more a dull ache like my muscles are tight. Body/mind connections are truly fascinating. Especially when not observing them in oneself! I have nursed too many cancer patients to believe that bullshit about negativity causing cancer. Most of my patients were beautiful human beings.

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    1. I've done the same thing with sore throats!
      Thank you for confirming my thoughts on negativity and cancer. For awhile there (and maybe still) it was like a Biblical thing of sin and the result being cancer. Fuck that shit.

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  3. I hear you. I've had sore jaw muscles......thought might be TMJ syndrome? but don't want to go down that path......I think it's some underlying tension/anxiety that must grip me in the throes of sleep at night.....and linger with me. Not *feeling* the true anxiety in my waking hours....but I think my brain is definitely working on it during the night. Hate it!
    Susan M

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    1. PS your peach preserves look great! I love lots of lemon too!
      Susan M

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    2. Same here, Susan- I'm pretty sure I would be diagnosed with TMJ although I do not grind my teeth. I take it all out on my tongue.

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  4. Yes, there's no doubt everything is connected. And you do have a lot of anxiety. I hope you get relief from biting your tongue, ow, what a way to wake. Try saying that last bit fast. I can't. It comes out all wrong.

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    1. I swear- it's like a bolt of electricity goes through my mouth which is yes, not a good way to wake!

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  5. I go to bed so tired every night I fall straight asleep, and sleep so soundly I don't remember any incidents. I hope it stays that way. And, I hope uou get to the root of your problem.

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    1. Thanks, Joanne. I guarantee you that if you bit your tongue the way I do, it would wake you up. You'd have to be in a coma not to.

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  6. I have chronic back, neck and jaw pain. I clench my jaw at night and tighten my shoulders until the muscles scream. I have regular massages and my massage therapist laughs at me. She says I don't have the tightest muscles, but I'm up there.

    I wonder what you're not saying?

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    1. I really should get a massage every now and then. I know it would help. Thank you for reminding me.

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  7. Ouch! I hope you get to the root of this problem quickly and enjoy those preserves. I have tight muscles everywhere, wear on joints, problems with my spine and low back and a bad SI joint...

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  8. The peach preserves look fabulous! Peach tart with whipped cream topping. Spread on hot buttered toast. Stirred into vanilla yoghurt. Spooned over ice cream. I think I put on five pounds just thinking about ways to eat them.
    I hope you work out your tongue biting problem.

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    1. We really should make some vanilla ice cream soon. I can only imagine how good those preserves would taste on that!

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  9. Wishing you peace and calm, Mary Moon! Hope you feel better soon.

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  10. You're right about the mind body connection. I used to go to a chiropractor that was so good he could zero in on my emotions and mental state by what was going on with my body. It always blew me away, so to speak. I hope you figure out what you need to say and to who or else just let it go. Sometimes just letting it go, releasing the energy works as well as acting on it. One of the semi regulars at yoga class has recently decided to get certified through an enrichment program connected to the ISD where she lives (and works) and she practiced on us last Wednesday, her first try to actually lead a class and she started out by saying that she wanted us to focus on acceptance during the class, acceptance of what your body can or can't do at this particular time, acceptance of the things in your life, that without acceptance there cannot be happiness, that happiness comes only through acceptance. I thought that rang true.

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    1. What a beautiful message and one that I would do well to practice. Lot of wisdom there.
      Speaking of wisdom- sounds like your chiropractor knew what he was doing. I wish all healers were so tuned in.

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  11. When I was married I used to grind my teeth and my hair started falling out. I ended up on anti-depressants for about five years and if ANYONE does NOT need them under normal circumstances, that would be me. But they helped when I DID need them. Going through the divorce I would have frequent nightmares about being trapped in a maze or being chased by monsters, all the while carrying a small child and trying to get to safety. Needless to say that disappeared when the AH moved far, far away. I still occasionally get nightmares about being surrounded by people and chaos - still trying to figure that one out, but I don't really feel it can mean that I am being "put on" because I'm single and retired. The mind's a strange thing isn't it!

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    1. At least you had a reason you could pinpoint for your anxiety and antidepressants and bad dreams. Glad you got rid of that problem! What a relief that must have been.
      The mind is indeed a strange thing.

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  12. When I was going through a divorce and my ex was trying to get custody of the four kids (who he hadn't seen in two years--lived 1600 miles away and didn't make the effort), I was initially given custody in a first hearing, but had to wait six weeks for it to see if it would be finalized. Six weeks of utter hell. Diarrhea, vomiting daily. Lost 20 lbs. Got custody in the end, but it was the worst time of my life. He had money and I didn't; almost lost them because of that. He was making well over six figures (back in the 80s). I'd been a stay-at-home mom, but just finished my BA at the time of the divorce (knew I would need it to support the kids), was working PT making $8 an hour and living with my mom. He only had to pay $1,000 a month for child support for the four of them. Didn't ask for alimony. But in the end, the only thing that mattered is that I got my kids. He got a lifetime of regret.

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    1. Oh, Mary! That sounds so horrible! How can some men be so very, very cruel? I sort of want to find the guy and kick him. I hope he has experienced regret. Some men are so clueless they don't even feel it, I think. You were so strong and I am so sorry you had to go through that.

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  13. I don't think I've ever had such a specific mind-body connection, but I've certainly had period of generalized anxiety that manifest in physical symptoms. Thankfully for me they haven't been constant, but come and go depending on what I'm experiencing in the world.

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