It was a bit cooler this morning and way less humid so I figured that my walk wouldn't be so bad but it was anyway. I think it's a relative thing. Exercising in 83 degree weather is not that much better than exercising in 86 degree weather.
Oh well. I didn't die. Again.I felt pretty useless and aimless this morning, truthfully. My morning angst felt sharp and pointed, not unlike what I would imagine it must feel like to be in the clutches of a predator bird's talons. Like this is not going to end well.
But I know that I go to these places sometimes, especially when I first wake up, as if sleeping has stripped me of my defenses, my coping abilities, any hope I might have for the future. It's a dreary thing, sometimes even scary. But I know by now that it'll pass.
And it did. Sort of.
Not really.
After lunch I went out and picked beans and then decided to fill up the canning kettle again and make some more pickled beans. This is such a time-consuming process that it can be a lifesaver. "Busy hands make hearts light." Isn't that what they say? I don't know about the light hearts part but trimming beans and sterilizing jars and lids and making brine can at least make one feel as if there is purpose and meaning to a long afternoon.
Once again I didn't really use a recipe. For the brine I use half water, half vinegar. Sometimes all white vinegar, sometimes a mixture of white and apple cider. A fourth of a cup of pickling salt to about six cups of liquid and about a cup of sugar if I want sweet beans which I did today. The other spices are put directly into the jars after they are packed with beans and before the brine gets poured over them. I've been using coriander seed, dill weed, dill seed, mustard seed, ground red pepper flakes and garlic. Of course garlic. A nice fat clove in each pint.
And that has been my day. Well, with a little laundry and watering and putting out fresh nectar for the hummingbirds. And a crossword or two.
Hey! Girls just wanna have fun! Am I right?
Sure.
Whatever.
The Supreme Court made a good decision in ruling that one can't fire an employee due to their sexual orientation. That's good news. The whole debacle that Trump's pushing wherein trans people can be denied proper healthcare hasn't been dealt with yet.
Black people are still being killed. White people are still calling the police on folks trying to live while black. And then when the backlash hits, begging to be forgiven and spouting shit about how they really just did not understand that their actions were...RACIST!
For Christ's sake. How can you reach adulthood without knowing how offensive certain actions are? Do these people have no empathy? Are they completely devoid of awareness?
I guess so. I mean, King Dong is. And proudly so.
Blogger won't let me post pictures and I'm still on the old Blogger. For a while they were giving me the option of using the new one but that seems to have disappeared. Don't worry though. The only pictures I have today are of the canned beans and two chickens and you've seen these things before.
I sure hope my attitude improves as the week progresses. In the meantime, I better go tend to my pizza dough.
Every little thing is gonna be alright.
Right?
Sure.
Love...Ms. Moon
I hope so...and that I live to see things different than they've been.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. About a thing. Cause every little thing's gonna be alright.
ReplyDeletewe have to think so otherwise we might as well just blow our brains out. or stick our heads in the sand. how does that saying go, life is hell and then you die. something like that. though this too will pass. eventually the virus will run its course or we'll have a vaccine, Trump will hopefully be gone sooner rather than later or maybe whatever his cognitive and physical decline is will do him in. the presidency has a way of aging even fit men. look at Obama. all gray now. anyway. you did more today than I did. I frittered the whole day away. did not put up the last of the tomatoes but I did go to yoga.
ReplyDeleteIt's muck slogging time. It's one day at a time. We'll make it.
ReplyDeleteI forgot that I have pea pods out there to be eaten. Oops. tomorrow they'll still be there. We've had so much rain here, the plants are nuclear huge. And the slugs are very happy.
ReplyDeleteKenny brought me some oatmeal cookies. Here, I'll share them with you.
XXXXX Beth
I have been reading stuff- the way back of the human condition right after the fall of the Roman Empire when everything was destroyed , loads of witches drowned - ignorance and disease the flavor of the day- lucky to live beyond the age of ten- and then i think , we don't have it so bad - look at all the white folks finally "getting it" , the "had enough" protests and the defund the police movement!! The
ReplyDeletesupreme court stepped up -in spite of trump shenanigans- WOW we might just be on a roll! A little high five after swimming upstream for centuries- maybe...maybe fingers crossed- we are evolving. Maybe , fingers crossed again, the orange thing is just a blink to awaken a complacent citizenry. Your beans have made me feel this strange feeling of optimism, I think.Love you!
I hear you and I feel you. My morning angst stretches out to the whole day these days, and I know I'm just a bummer of a person right now. I wish you would come over and help me can something.
ReplyDeleteI switched to new Blogger about a week ago but I had a terrible time posting this morning (for various reasons). Had to finally switch back to the old to get my post formatted correctly. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI think it DOES help a lot to stay busy. I know I feel better on days when I've been doing things. I suppose it helps us maintain some illusion of control!
I've tried three times to use the new version and each time I have to switch back to get the formatting right.
DeleteThe day you describe sounds like the kind of day that Madonna might have when not touring or recording in the studio. While canning the beans she'd be singing to herself:-
ReplyDeleteGet into the groove
Boy you've got to prove
Your love to me, yeah
Get up on your feet, yeah
Step to the beat
Boy what will it be
The world is a hard school right now. I saw a study that found that most Americans are unhappier than they were two years ago. I thought: Duh. 2020 has been a very long decade, and it isn't even half over. When I look at everything we've been dealing with since the start of the year, it makes me wonder if I'm being foolish not to believe in the end times. Sort of kidding. I even know that there have been even worse patches than this one in history. But this one sure feels like it's up there in contention. Then again, I have to confess, my little everyday reality feels charmed, even with the intrusion of all the atrocities happening to people, and I don't know how to reconcile it, especially knowing how fragile it is, there but for the grace and all that. Sending love to you, hoping the morning angst is lighter tomorrow, and can be sent sailing on a breath.
ReplyDelete