Wednesday, June 27, 2018

From The Sublime To The Gloriously And Grossly Ridiculous


Magnolia and Bella, waiting for the rain. 
Photo taken by Lily.

Nothing today. Just nothing. Watching my country crumble, watching our worst nightmares unroll even unto the highest court in the land.

I took a walk. It was hot. Of course it was hot. It's fucking summer in Florida.

I came home and finished Maggie's dress. I am not happy with it but it's done.
It's cheerful.


The young chickens have found their way into the garden and good for them! They love to scratch in the hay I've cleaned from their nests, finding nice bugs and spreading out the poop and the mulch for me. I picked two embryonic Italian eggplants, a bell pepper, a green tomato which had a big bug spot at the top, some basil, and some volunteer arugula. Everything but the arugula has already been sauteed along with onions and garlic and mushrooms to make a garden medley pasta sauce with chicken.
Garden medley. 
It's that time of year.

I feel frantic tonight. I don't know why. I had the most horrible dreams last night and every time I went back to sleep, they returned like a remake of some terrible horror movie, the characters the same, the storyline always a bit different but monster people who looked just like suburban neighbors killed my baby by drowning and I would not let her go, but held her tight to me. When I woke up, I was clutching my hands hard together under my chin where I'd been holding that dream baby. I am not kidding when I say all night. I woke up from the first one and reached to find my husband, just to make sure he was there, and checked the time and it was 2:18 and when I woke up with my hands clasped so tightly, it was a little after 7:00 a.m.
Perhaps all of that was the seed of my emotion.
Perhaps.

How long can Ruth Bader Ginsburg live? Does it even matter any more?
Where is Robert Mueller? Does he even matter any more?

I am wracking my brain to come up with something else to write about to no avail.

Okay.

My sock monkey socks which I ordered online came in the mail today.
There was a horrible fire which arose from a controlled burn in the tiny town of Eastpoint which lies west of here and which we pass through on our way to the beach or Apalachicola. Thirty homes, at least, were completely burned. The people who live in Eastpoint are mostly fishing people, oyster people, people who were barely making it as it is. There's nothing to rent in Eastpoint. I could think about them and try to assure myself that hey! I have it good! which I do but this immense loss only makes me feel worse.
No one died. It's a miracle.
The Beauty Berries are blooming and will be making their gorgeous fuchsia colored fruit soon.
The Clitoria vines are blooming.
The Rolling Stones played in Marseille last night and one of the headlines from a local paper read, "Infatigables Le Rolling Stones enflamment la stade Velodrome."
I don't know much French but I think I can understand what that says.
My husband and I have been watching a Canadian mockumentary series called Trailer Park Boys which goes on for about ten thousand seasons and it's stupid and ridiculous and it makes us laugh every night as we eat our supper and I wish I'd kept a pen and a pad of paper handy for the whole time we've been watching it to capture some of the dialogue because it is genius.

I'll leave you with these immortal words from one of the main characters.


Wish I didn't believe that was true. 

Love...Ms. Moon





26 comments:

  1. reading here daily gives me a break from the shit-show our democracy has become. we'll find a way through this administration together....or it will tear the very fabric of our great country apart worse then the civil war ever would have.

    xxalainaxx

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  2. Justice Kennedy retiring now is a disaster. I hope the Dems can hold off the appointment of a new justice till a new Congress is seatedafter November.

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    1. OH! But it's not a PRESIDENTIAL election! So the Republicans are not practicing what they preached when they refused to let Obama nominate anyone.

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  3. Frantic! That's the word I've been looking for all day. I told hubby that I feel 'jumpy' inside and out and I felt like I need to run. But being overweight, having swollen feet so bad that I can't wear shoes, and knees just ready to snap prevent that. I just feel like I'm on the verge of something really bad. Sadly, I believe we all are.

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    1. And we all need to take care of ourselves! What good will it do us if we are unable to take on what needs taking on? Feeling frantic is not a good way to feel, is it? Do we deep breathe? Do we...oh hell. I don't know. Ride it out and try not to it all overcome us, I guess.

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  4. Yet, we go on- rug pulled out from under us, it will be a scramble and we will get by...BUT, none of us wanted this or even thought it could be. Hold on to that baby, It is not dead, just ill.

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    1. As much as I feared it would be bad, I had no idea just how bad it would be. I will hold on to that baby. Let's all hold on.

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  5. When I logged onto social media today and saw the headlines about Justice Kennedy retiring my heart actually started racing and I felt like I was about to have a panic attack for a couple of minutes there. I've never been so stressed out over politics in my life as I've been in the last two years. I hate it all. So much.

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    1. And I remember the halcyon days when Bush was president and I could not imagine how things could be worse.
      I hate it too, Jennifer. We all should.

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  6. That dream sounds just horrible... I often dream segments of my day mixed with news and it’s ingenious to me how it all replays itself. It sounds like the children at the borders are inside your soul. I’m feeling beaten down by what’s happening and today makes me scared just as I was at the beginning of this lunatics reign. Scared.

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    1. Amen. And the brain is ingenious, isn't it? So clever in the way it entertains itself while we sleep. Not always fun for us.
      Hang on, sweetie. We all have to.

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  7. I feel just like you and the other commenters. Frantic. Disoriented. Needing a way out of this mess but torn between obsessive news-reading and trying to ignore it all. Hard to focus, but I do think a “Beauty Berry” sounds lovely and I’m glad yours are blooming. My Wisconsin tomato plants are growing and blooming like crazy. Orioles are flocking to my jelly feeders. Deep breath.

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    1. Deep breath indeed. Let us not forget the real things. The small things. The things which bring us life.

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  8. I had nightmares Tuesday night too--thought it was just me, but it's clear now that it wasn't. Some comfort in that. Or not, since if it was just me, it wouldn't be the whole country/world messed up...

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    1. Full moon, too.
      Doesn't help.

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    2. This is a very challenging full moon. Ride it out it is a learning moon l feel Maggi with love x

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  9. Me too with same dreams. Our country is fucked too. We have biggest wild fire ever in UK burning for days in the north where l am. World seems to have gone mad. Trump is coming to meet the Queen. Yuck! I feel overwhelmed as well. World feels wrong. Sending love Maggi x

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    1. The world does seem to have gone mad. It's absolutely insane. Sending love back to you, Maggi.

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    2. I had to do about ten of those robot things just to speak to you in last msg. Gonna take my chances however many it takes. Sending love just love only love to you n yours. But if l ever get well n rich l am going to Tennessee to volunteer at the Old Friends Dog Sanctuary. That is pure love too and l always wanted to see the USA The real one that you epitomise. And if you ever come to the UK You see xxx Love MaggiMaggi xxc

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  10. on Mary, we are just totally fucked. I don't see how we will ever recover from this, at least not in my lifetime. I'm staying off FB today. just can't handle any more destruction of what was good about this country.

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    1. Good for you, Ellen! The outcome of whatever happens does not depend on each of us being glued to social media day in and day out. And we need to preserve what sanity we may have.

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  11. "Shit Winds" -- that's a good way to put it. I love that it encapsulates our current national (global, really) tragedy with a dark sense of humor. Yeah, where IS Mueller?

    The mid-terms could turn things around a bit, and Mueller could turn them around even more. I'm trying to be hopeful, but it's hard.

    That's terrible about Eastpoint! Isn't it a bad time of year to be doing controlled burns?

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    1. As to the controlled burn- as you can imagine, lots and lots of questions are being asked. It IS terrible. The company that did the burn is offering $5,000 to each family affected for emergency funding but there's no place to rent in Eastpoint and the motel situation is not much better. This may be the end of that little town. I hope not.

      I, of course, hope for things to improve after the midterms but honestly, I don't trust our voting system at this point. I'm devolving into a conspiracy theorist. Someone is behind all of this and they appear to have unlimited funds and power.

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  12. My husband adores the Trailer Park Boys. I never quite get that sort of show. He's revelling in all of Arrested Development too, and I don't really get that either.

    Mary, what an awful dream. I'm so sorry your mind torments you so. What the fuck, brain? Have you ever practised lucid dreaming? Before you sleep tonight, try impressing firmly and repeatedly on your mind that you will have only sweet, beautiful dreams?

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    1. I have tried lucid dreaming, Jo. I am not good enough at it though for any results.
      Trailer Park Boys is incredibly juvenile and I have no idea why I like it. At this point, the characters are like part of my family. I swear.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.