Go for a fucking walk. Get off your ass and put on some old clothes and a pair of shoes and something resembling a sports bra or whatever and grab the walking stick your husband made for you and open the door and take one step, two, three...
And so forth.
While you are walking listen to whatever makes you happy. Podcasts, NPR, music, a book, nothing but the birds and bugs and your very own thoughts.
When you get home think, "At least I did that."
Go see a baby. Any baby would probably do but a baby that knows you by your grandmother name works best for me. Adore their beautiful, perfect hands. Pretend to bite and eat their beautiful, perfect toes. You will know if they like this because if they do, they will offer the toes to you between bites. Move on to fingers. They are tasty too. "Help" their mother dress them which is completely silly because she is a pro. But if she is sweet, she will go along with the game and give you a sock and a shoe to put on too. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Say, "I love you!" about a million times. Go shopping with the mother and the baby. Buy outfits for the baby and his cousin, another baby. For the boy, buy cargo shorts and a plaid, flannel shirt. For the little girl baby maybe get something like this:
Could you just die?
So. After you've done all of that, say good-bye to the baby and kiss him a million more times and say, "I love you!" about a million more times and then...
Come home and put on your overalls. Go outside into the garden and get on your knees and weed. Again, listen to whatever makes you happy. Right now I'm listening to this:
When you've weeded all you want to or if it is getting dark and you need to come in, pull a few small carrots and beets. Bring them in and wash them and cook them with vinegar and a little water and butter and salt and pepper and onions and sugar and some of the beet greens.
Also, roast a chicken in a big black skillet with potatoes and onions and Brussels Sprouts and lemon juice and garlic and salt and pepper and thyme and oregano. If you're like me, you don't really like Brussels Sprouts but at least once a year you try them again to see if maybe you do. If you do, eat them. If you don't, don't eat them. Whatever.
When your husband gets home, kiss, kiss, kiss. Tell him you love him. Listen to a story he has to tell about selling a guy a car which made the guy so happy and thus, him too.
Sit down and write about it all. This is what worked for you today. This is what made you feel better. Moving your body and taking deep breaths in the outside air. Loving on a baby. Buying silly little things that make babies' mamas happy. Getting your overall knees filthy in the dirt while getting to the root of the weed. Finding big fat worms as you weed and know that the work you did spreading mushroom compost and mulch was a worthwhile effort. Cooking and eating what comes from your garden along with other good food. Listening to good books read by excellent narrators. And knowing that you have a good book to read before sleep, this one with your eyes.
Have a little faith. There's magic in the night and in the day, too, sometimes.
You ain't a beauty but hey, you're all right.
And that's all right tonight. It's worked for me.