Well, Dr. Stephen Johnson says I made my husband murder "a native Barking Treefrog, our largest and most handsome native treefrog. This species was recently designated as Florida’s State Amphibian."
Syd- YOU WERE RIGHT!
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I feel so terrible. I still stand by the fact that that frog was bigger than 2.5 inches.
But hell, he's the expert and there you go.
Well, I have learned a lesson which is to STOP FREAKING OUT!
Sure. I'm quite certain that I have now learned that lesson permanently and will never freak out needlessly again.
You betcha!
Okay. I have the dirtiest boy in the world here, crawling around under the table and getting dirtier by the second. I may be a murderer of one of Florida's State Amphibians but I try to be a good grandmother and I think it is time to clean this boy up, feed him some lunch and get him settled for nap time.
Oh God. I feel terrible. And I am sure that Dr. Johnson is shaking his head in disgust at the hysterical woman who lives in Lloyd who made her husband shoot a poor innocent frog.
I am a moron. You read it here first.
oops.
ReplyDeleteWell, hey, at least this means you don't have those awful Cuban tree frogs. You can pee in peace.
ReplyDeleteHey, I ain't cryin.
ReplyDeleteif it was scary enough to make you vomit, you can kill it.
ReplyDeleteif it was big enough to use a .22, you can eat it.
if you can eat it, you can love it.
and if you can love it, it can't be scary.
Don't use this as a general approach to life and love, but as a basic mantra in managing the creatures around your homestead.
Hey, I don't judge (and I'm a damn vegetarian!). I ain't cryin either. The thought of you being terrified to sit on the toilet for fear of a damn frog was too much, so it's all good. All hail to Mr. Moon, Slayer of Frogs!
ReplyDeleteMeantime, I am re-thinking my plan to ultimately return to the tiny island when we get old. I didn't know those frogs hang out in toilets. Prolly cisterns too. OMG. Looks like we will spend our golden years in the frozen north.
-invisigal
Well, I can't stop laughing. So what does that make me?
ReplyDeleteHe shot a frog. With a rifle.
ReplyDelete...
There has to be a story in here somewhere.
So, next time you're getting worked up about something you don't need to, you know I'm going to say, put down the rifle, Mary, it's just a big frog.
Mary, darling....it's OK......no need to beat yourself up. It was a lesson! You have learned it.....good for you.....you may have saved froggy from being eaten by a Florida Alligator.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
damn...word verification for this comment is "aphiestp"....if these words get any harder I may have to give up commenting. (NOT)
oh dear.
ReplyDeleteDear Ms. Moon,
Please remember to breathe. It can be difficult in the face of Monster Nature. I came home from last weekend's river trip to find a tarantula in a jar in my livingroom. My son left a note (thankgoodness) warning me aforehand. Yes, it was in MY livingroom. Now, I understand the distress, but it is important to do what you've done: offer the apology and move on. Bless your heart! Mother Nature is very forgiving.
Sorry--I am good at taxonomy. But take heart because you do not have the Cuban one there...yet. I do my best not to kill anything, except a Palmetto bug (roach to most people). I do believe in karma so that probably is why I tread lightly around all things living. I have slaughtered many thousands of fish and crabs and shrimp in my career. I am making a living amends now.
ReplyDeleteadrienne- EXACTLY!
ReplyDeleteLora- Yet. We don't have them yet.
DTG- This is comforting.
Mungam's Bodyguard- I should post these rules on the refrigerator.
Invisigal- Maybe we could just GROW UP AND QUIT BEING AFRAID OF FROGS!
Ms. Trouble- Evil. Obviously.
Lo- Yes but the gator will go hungry. Oh my. Life is just complex.
Laura- Oh yes. The note was a nice touch. LORD!
Syd- Usually, I am the same although I have no compassion for Tomato Hornworms or Wasps. Mostly.
And Jo- Please. I know. Best advice ever. Thank-you.
ReplyDeleteoh god you crack me up.
ReplyDeleterebecca protector of bees
wv: losting (no shit)
Madame King- Hey! I catch bees and let them out all the time! But I guess I am bad at losting the frogs.
ReplyDeleteWe were just amazed that it was a frog big enough to shoot with a rifle.
ReplyDeleteOh well, live and learn. He would have likely been squished on the road in a few days.
um, i kinda already knew you were a moron.
ReplyDeleteYou, of all people, are anything BUT a damn moron. Shit happens, man.
ReplyDeleteDaddy B's comment cracked me up.
Mel's Way- I have never seen one of these guys squished on the road. No. I caused the death of a poor innocent.
ReplyDeletedaddy b- You know me so well.
Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Shit DOES happen. Daddy B's comments always crack me up.
Ditto Mel, it WAS big enough to be shot with a rifle.
ReplyDeleteMental note for next time - perhaps Hank's not the one to ask about frogs. The Actor always tells me the spider in the bath is as big as his head when I have to go and gently put it outside.
I love you xx