Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Let Me Compare Thee To A Fall Day When The Butterfly Ginger Blooms

I woke up this morning feeling as if the hole I've been living in had somehow gotten lighter and far less dank. As if a sharp ray of sunlight had pierced all the way through to my heart.

Huh.

It's cooler again. And it's such an incredibly beautiful day. I've had some good days lately. The weekend with my kids and my dear friends. Yesterday Miss Maybelle and I did some Goodwill shopping and she made me laugh so hard I told her to stop talking because I was driving in traffic and I couldn't laugh that much and drive at the same time. I'd tell you what she said to make me laugh but it was an idea for character names for some book she HAS to write now and by golly, if she doesn't use them I'm going to steal them and I don't want anyone else to.

Nothing makes me happier than being struck once again, over and over, with the realization of how funny and smart and wonderful my grown kids are. Lucky for me they do it a lot.

I'm going to go talk to "someone" today. I do not especially want to do this because as Miss Maybelle and I were discussing while looking at dresses in the Goodwill, the things you least want to discuss are the very things you HAVE to discuss in order to get better.

Bah.

I tend to spend the first months of therapy (okay, I've only done this once or twice before) convincing my therapist that I am the most intelligent, funniest and most well-adjusted person they'll ever have the good fortune to meet.

Hah.

I don't want to spend months in therapy. Really. So I need to get in there and just shovel all the dirt out and spread it around and let her study it like some shaman studying the entrails of a chicken and let her tell me what to do.

As if.

It's a beautiful morning. I'm going to go for a walk. Then I'll shower and get dressed and pack my shovel and go see this person, this shaman, this so-called sanity expert.

And then I'm going to go to Publix and then I'm going to come home which is where I live and where these beautiful butterfly ginger lilies are blooming. And I'm going to remember to go smell them at least five times today because ginger lilies?

Heaven.

And today?

Fine.

And the good days?

Precious and rare. Like the butterfly ginger.

Yes. Oh yes.

9 comments:

  1. Take me with you! Maybe we can get a two for one? Smell the lillies once for me.
    This weather has magic in it.

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  2. I don't know if I have ever smelled ginger lilies. Hmmm. I feel like I am missing out on something.

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  3. Unfortunately, (or maybe fortunately?) the shamans never tell us what to do, they only help us find the answers we already knew.

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  4. I need to work through some stuff with a therapist as well. Thank you for being so brave.

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  5. Hmmmm.....
    The "session" went well. And of course, MOB, you are right. I shall perhaps write more about this whole thing in a future post.
    I don't feel brave at all, by the way. Merely reporting in.
    And Nicol- yes, you are missing something if you haven't smelled the butterfly ginger.
    Oh, Brother B- I would have loved to have you there with me. Lunch SOON?

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  6. I wish a ginger lily was blooming at "The Beach Club". Only thing blooming here is algae in the pond and my stress level. heh, just playing, I'm sure there are other things blooming.
    I think you are brave for going to see someone, and it makes me feel good to know that you are doing something for yourself.
    I love you so much.

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  7. HoneyLuna- I am doing FINE! Come smell the butterfly ginger when you're done with your tests. We will welcome you with open arms.

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  8. Glad to hear you had a wonderful day, and I hope the good days continue. Especially in times like this we need to find the joy in life. I don't know if this will come as a surprise to you but I see a therapist. It is hard sometimes but it helps me out quite a bit. I have solved a lot of problems by letting this lady listen to me talk. It is amazing what you can accomplish when you take the time to think about it. Anyway good luck.

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