I woke up this morning feeling as if the hole I've been living in had somehow gotten lighter and far less dank. As if a sharp ray of sunlight had pierced all the way through to my heart.
It's cooler again. And it's such an incredibly beautiful day. I've had some good days lately. The weekend with my kids and my dear friends. Yesterday Miss Maybelle and I did some Goodwill shopping and she made me laugh so hard I told her to stop talking because I was driving in traffic and I couldn't laugh that much and drive at the same time. I'd tell you what she said to make me laugh but it was an idea for character names for some book she HAS to write now and by golly, if she doesn't use them I'm going to steal them and I don't want anyone else to.
Nothing makes me happier than being struck once again, over and over, with the realization of how funny and smart and wonderful my grown kids are. Lucky for me they do it a lot.
I'm going to go talk to "someone" today. I do not especially want to do this because as Miss Maybelle and I were discussing while looking at dresses in the Goodwill, the things you least want to discuss are the very things you HAVE to discuss in order to get better.
I tend to spend the first months of therapy (okay, I've only done this once or twice before) convincing my therapist that I am the most intelligent, funniest and most well-adjusted person they'll ever have the good fortune to meet.
I don't want to spend months in therapy. Really. So I need to get in there and just shovel all the dirt out and spread it around and let her study it like some shaman studying the entrails of a chicken and let her tell me what to do.
It's a beautiful morning. I'm going to go for a walk. Then I'll shower and get dressed and pack my shovel and go see this person, this shaman, this so-called sanity expert.
And then I'm going to go to Publix and then I'm going to come home which is where I live and where these beautiful butterfly ginger lilies are blooming. And I'm going to remember to go smell them at least five times today because ginger lilies?
And the good days?
Precious and rare. Like the butterfly ginger.
Yes. Oh yes.