In Which I Talk About Soothing And Peaceful Things

Yesterday when I took Jessie home, we went out to visit her chickens. She has gotten three eggs now and in my opinion, they are coming from three different hens. Once one lady in a flock starts laying, they all seem to join right in. 
Jessie gave them some mealworms, which are manna for chickens and I was waiting to see if the rooster, who is now crowing and making sweet, sweet rooster-love to the hens (ha!) is tidbitting yet. Do you remember me talking about how my roosters tidbitted? That's what they do when they find something especially good to eat. A treat, a delicacy. Instead of eating it themselves, they make a very specific almost clicking/clucking noise and shake their heads, causing their combs to show to their best advantage, and their pretty neck feathers to flutter, which calls the hens to his side where they happily cluck and scratch at the what he is offering them. 
I have seen this over and over again and it is one of the ten thousand reasons I love chickens so much. 
The pretty little black and white spotted hen there has the sweetest, prettiest tune that she sings as she goes about her scratching and eating. All of the chickens have their own distinctive voices and songs which is another reason they have my heart. 

I had a very, very hard time getting out of bed today. I am crying when I get up again these days. Or, more like just silent weeping. I thought the increase in one of my antidepressants had helped, and actually, it had. But I guess I'm that much farther down the road now that it's not getting the job done entirely. I wonder what I'd be like if I didn't take it at all. 
I do not intend to find out. 

Glen found a house on a river that he wanted us to go look at today and we had an appointment to meet the realtor at 1:30 to look it over. The house is in Georgia, up near Cairo, (pronounced Kay-Ro) which is between Thomasville and Bainbridge. Some acreage came with the house as well as a pond and all of these are part of Mr. Moon's dream. River, pond, land. 
So we made a day of it, driving first to Cairo. Cairo is another very small old Georgia town, smaller than Thomasville, and with fewer signs of old and new wealth but it appears to be doing fairly well. The new, mixing in with the old. One thing that fascinated me is that they have the oldest single-screen movie theater in Georgia, which still shows new movies. Just family-friendly ones, I think. 
I did not take this picture but having just driven by it today, I can attest that it is an accurate image. 

Nice, huh? The ZEBULON!

Of course we wanted lunch. What's the point of going somewhere if you don't have a meal? We found a place called "Grits" and it promised a southern buffet and excellent service. 
It was an interesting place. 

Very tidy and clean with beautiful pine-paneled ceilings. A bit of funk, a bit of sophistication. The buffet was also clean and tidy and there was a good selection of yes, southern foods, and also a small salad bar section. Here's what my plate looked like. 

Creamed corn, black-eyed peas and limas, roast chicken, rice, a tiny bit of salad, okra, and hidden underneath there somewhere, some turnip greens. The food was not greasy. It was nicely cooked. The clientele consisted of what looked like construction workers to very sharply dressed people who no doubt had office jobs. 
And yes, I swear- everyone in there knew everyone else. 
The only employees we saw were all Latino. That may not be the PC word. I don't know. But they were all people who looked like ICE would be interested in them and I could not help but wonder if they were safe. It appeared to both me and Glen that they were the owners of the restaurant and I would not be surprised if they were. 

They are doing a good business and deserve all the success they are hopefully enjoying. 

And then we followed Siri's instructions to the house on the river. 
As I said to Glen, it was on the ass end of nowhere. Down a long state road, then a clay road, then a sand road and it all went on for miles. Or perhaps it just seemed like miles. It truly was quite a drive. The woods on either side of the road were beautiful, quiet, and filled with native plants. There were creeks and little streams, wending and winding through parts of it. It was beautiful. But it felt so far from shopping for groceries or getting medical attention or...well, anything except for being at home. 

The realtor lady met us right on time and we both liked her. She just turned on lights, opened drapes, and stood back, answering any questions we had. No pushing or hard sells there. 
I loved the cabin. It was small but seemed airy enough. Lovely pine paneling and floors. 

The kitchen was small but as I have said before, I could cook on a rock, if need be. All of the furnishings are going with the house and they were not obnoxious in the least. As in- I could live with them. 

Practically zero closet space or storage area of any kind. A closet in this room was the biggest space there for storage and it was questionable if it was even large enough for a couple's clothes. The other downstairs bedroom had a closet too but the water heater lives in it. 

Small. 
There is a loft with a bed and a chest of drawers in it that grandchildren who are monkeys would love. 

One bathroom, very simple, very plain, nothing fancy at all but functional looking. 

And the porches were lovely. 

So all of that was fine but...

The river. 
Not what Mr. Moon wants at all. It is shallow and obviously not navigable for fishing or small-craft use. 

There is a dock, but I'm not sure what you'd do with it beyond fishing off. I would desperately want a little swimming hole if we did buy a place on any sort of water and I don't see this as offering much chance of that. Getting up and down the bank would be very difficult. 
It is beautiful there. So very quiet, no near neighbors, and I am sure there are many birds and lots of wildlife that one could sit on a porch and watch. 
But there are also places in the acreage that must be mowed and that would involve a tractor which, of course, Mr. Moon would sort of love, but still- a lot of work. 
The pond? 

Again- lovely but tiny. 

It's manmade and not very close to the house. It has been stocked and of course my man had to bring a fishing pole and cast out a few times. When he got back to the car he said, "Well, at least we know there's one bass in it."

It had all looked so good on paper to him. 
But neither of us feel that it is ours. 

And that's what we did today. He's gone into town to a basketball game and I'm going to eat some leftovers. 

I'm not talking about...that...today. I have not yet begun to understand how to live in the world we have suddenly been thrown into but I do understand that I must, and we all must, find a way. Otherwise, we will not be able to function and do that which needs being done, either in our day-to-day lives or as possible change agents. I think that one thing I need to do is to stop taking each and every lie, every atrocity committed, and every new development as the end of the world. 
And yet- see? I just said the word atrocity. And I mean atrocity.

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Perhaps we should buy a cabin in the very deep Georgia woods where it is quiet and peaceful. 
Too far to Publix, though. I guess that the real answer is to try and find the peace within us. 

Yeah, Mary. Like that's always worked for you. 

Love...Ms. Moon