Saturday, November 12, 2011
A Killing Frost
I really screwed the fucking pooch last night.
It froze. The ground is carpeted in pecan leaves. They must have all dropped off at once in the night. I am almost surprised the sound didn't wake me up. The banana leaves are that dark-green color of dying chlorophyll lying limp against the stalks.
I didn't wrap or move one damn plant.
I hardly have the heart to go around and look and see what I've lost.
I guess that later I'll take my cart and my clippers and cut everything back and hope that the plants themselves are not truly dead.
Oh well. I wasn't paying attention. And truthfully- some of the plants are in pots so big that it takes me AND Mr. Moon to bring them in. But I could have tried- I could have brought some in, covered the rest up.
And now I have a project. I have cart and clippers, I will wear overalls and gloves. I will spend time outside in the sunshine. It's already warmer out there than it is in here. And by next week, it's supposed to be in the eighties again.
It is good for me to have a project, albeit such a depressing one. I am struggling with this stuff going on in my head. I read an article the other day about how depression may actually be connected to physical inflammation. I believe that. When I am feeling like this, my eyes feel strange, heavy somehow. They do not hurt or ache, they just feel heavy. Different.
And of course there is the need to sleep. There is a lack of appetite. But I just ate an egg with a yolk as golden as the sun from any planet and a piece of toast and I have talked to three people on the phone and every one of them told me they love me and I told every one of them that I loved them and I have thrown some things away and tidied some areas of the kitchen and so I am okay.
I am going to move about the yard in the sunshine, I am going to cut away that which is dead and hope that the roots are good. I am going to be as gentle with myself as possible, physically and spiritually and emotionally. I am going to remember that there is a strong tie between all three of those and that no matter which part becomes ill first, healing can occur from all directions. To treat one aspect is to treat all three.
Yes. That sounds right. And tonight I will put on my serving clothes again and perhaps I will stay for the show but whatever it is that I need to do, I will do because I have been given this gift right now of time to do whatever that is and the quiet to listen to myself to know what that may be.
Does this make any sense?
I hope so.
Love From Florida Where It Surely Froze Last Night...Ms. Moon