Once Again- Laughing And Crying

This picture is honestly a good representation of what August and Levon frequently look like. I'm not sure I've ever seen brothers get along as well as they do. They are each other's best friends and play buddies. They share remarkably well. They each think each other is hysterically funny at times. They chatter like little monkeys in the car, sitting next to each other in the back seat. When you pick them up from school, they immediately begin the conversation, telling each other what they did that day. You are nothing but their chauffeur. 

Here's another from the drunk-on-ice-cream-and-rootbeer-float series.

Oh, they're human so they can be hurt by the other if one wants to do something that doesn't involve his brother or something like that. August's love of reading has been a small division between them because he could spend all day and all night with books while Levon is more apt to want to play, to have adventures. 
They work it out. 

They were a joy to have and as you can see, Levon felt pretty all right. They took their baths and got into their sleeping attire which has nothing to do with pajamas anymore. They've outgrown that mess. They wear shorts to bed. Like real men should. Last night I told August to get his underbritches on and they both laughed themselves silly. "Underbritches? Underbritches!!??" 

It was that time of night. 

We read Chen Ping and His Magic Axe which is rather magical and a deliciously illustrated story about where selfishness and lying and greed can lead you and how goodness is rewarded. Levon fell asleep two seconds after I had finished reading it and August and I talked for a few minutes and then the light went out and he was asleep too. 

Pancakes this morning and then we forced them to turn the TV off and they played marbles and then we did some crafts and they made beautiful cards for their mama and daddy. At this point I had about run out of ideas so I decided to take them to the little playground by the library and we did that. I made us a picnic and it was quite pleasant. 

It was cool under the oak trees and while we ate our lunch, I read them elephant jokes from my phone and we laughed so hard. It occurred to me that the people whom we can laugh with, who laugh at what we laugh at, are our people. And somehow, laughing with kids, truly gut-laughing at stupid elephant jokes under an oak tree is about as good as life gets. 

Levon did not seem to be running a fever but he was still acting a little lethargic so we didn't stay too long. I had told them that if they did not talk about watching TV anymore, or ask me one more time if they could, they would probably be able to. In the car on the way home, they did their usual chattering and making up games and finally I said, "Y'all. Could you please be a little more quiet?" and they decided that they needed to play the quiet game so that I would let them watch when we got home. 
Levon laid out the rules for the game which were, "You can't say anything unless someone is killing you."
Oh my god. THAT made me laugh and laugh and laugh. 
Yes. If someone is killing you, you are allowed to talk. And I thought to myself that it's no wonder that I have such a bizarre sense of humor. I have spent my entire life around children. 

There was indeed more TV although a lot of it was the Masters which wasn't as fun as Power Rangers or whatever they like, but they agreed to it because it was TV and they cheered and clapped along with their Boppy. 

And Boppy did this for me. 

He planted my new palms in the pots I wanted to use for them. They look beautiful. 

Although those pots may not be big enough for them. They were completely root bound in their nursery pots. 

I think that the anniversary couple had a very good weekend. They looked very rested and very happy when they came to get their sons. I sent them home with chicken and dumplings and I got good hugs from the little guys before they left. Probably because I gave them each a mini-cupcake, leftover from Maggie's lunch, as a bye-bye treat. I am under no delusions. Some day those boys are going to look back at their times with me and smile deeply and their hearts will tug, but for now, they are fairly certain that my role in their life is to spoil them. Boppy's too. 
But, in a way, I guess that is a grandparent's role in life when it comes to those kiddos. 

And so it's been a good weekend but for reasons which I am not unaware of, I have been on the verge of tears all day long. As you may know by now, this is not what we would call highly unusual, but this feels different, somehow. It's like I have a splinter in a thumb and every time I touch it, it hurts and until I pull that that splinter, it's going to be there. It's going to let me be aware of its presence. And it's one of those things, those issues, I need to deal with. Of course it's never that simple. It is never like a splinter that once you pull out, is no bother any more. It's more like a deep ache that has its roots in a bone you broke as a child or an accident you suffered years and years ago. 
The original problem must be addressed or the ache will only get worse.

Ah. If these things were easy, we would all be so much happier, so much more content, so much more authentic and at peace with who we truly are. 

I am always so torn between moaning and feeling as if my feelings are of utmost importance in my world, while still knowing that my entire presence here in the time and the space of the universe is ludicrously and infinitely microscopic. 

Should I not say anything unless something is killing me? Does Levon's take on the Quiet Game apply here? 

Here's one of our favorite elephant jokes today: 

How do you raise a baby elephant? 

WITH A FORKLIFT! 

Maybe you had to be there. But honestly, I think it's a good joke. 

Love...Ms. Moon