In Which I Attempt An Adventure

 I've just felt like a rag of a hag today. A bag of mess of a human being. So yes, back to the way I felt a few days ago when I was grieving for the things I've lost as I've aged and the things I will go on to lose as I age even more. I know that I could improve my attitude by doing more for others and "getting out" more. Perhaps taking some classes or volunteering here or there and yet, I have no desire to do those things, to be anywhere around other humans for the most part, to creep out of my comfortable nest of the well known, well-used, well tested and found true.

For me, anyway.

I feel worthless. 

A few days ago I told Mr. Moon that we should do something this weekend. I am not sure what I had in mind but something. He asked me last night if I'd thought about that- did I want to go spend the night at the beach or Apalachicola or...what? 
I told him that at that moment, the thought of breaking my routine enough to go to the Waffle House for breakfast seemed pretty big. We laughed but I wasn't really trying to be funny. 

So today the subject came up again and I told him that it's too damn hot to go to the beach and it is. That the idea of walking around Apalach in this heat with all the tourists was not appealing in the least. We settled on going to Thomasville, Georgia which is not very far away, for lunch and to maybe shop a little bit. Perhaps it would not be as deadly hot a few miles north. 

Anyway, this seemed like something I could handle and it's a beautiful ride if you go the back roads and as Mr. Moon said today, he's never in a hurry anymore and I am not either. We drove through the darling little town of Miccosukee and then Metcalf where Liz Sparks and I go to lunch at Mary's Kitchen when we can find it open. Glen's been wanting to go there as he's never been so we stopped to see if Miss Mary was open but she was not. It's hit-or-miss at Mary's Kitchen. So on to Thomasville we drove. We passed plantation properties on our way that are as tended as formal gardens with huge houses down long driveways, set on hundreds of acres of land. I have no idea who the owners of these plantations are. Very, very rich people, obviously, but who? Some of the plantations are now mostly set up for hunting and they house and feed the very, very rich hunters in a sort of low-country elegance, and tend the land to best encourage whatever sort of game they are offering. At least they are decent stewards of those many acres. 

There is so much money represented in that area. And of course, the other side of the coin is the poverty of those who work on those plantations or perhaps have jobs with the sawmill in Metcalf or at the post office or...I have no idea. But there are houses and trailers in the midst of all this wealth where folks who do not have fortunes live and there are homes in between the two, as well. Some of them quite old and lovely. Well taken care of, tidy, and obviously belonging to house-proud people. I love some of these. 

This is a bad picture of a sweet house. It was a slow-down, let me take a picture of this house, shot. The yard off to the left of the house has gorgeous old, old live oaks as well as very tall old palms. I do love that combination. It screams North Florida/South Georgia. 

Thomasville is a town that has the same poverty/wealth situation going on. The downtown is as pretty as it can be. 

Brick streets, brick buildings, old and well-restored and maintained. Hip little shops selling coffee, local cheeses and other dairy products, cafes and boutiques and a very fine bookstore. We ate our lunch at a fairly old place called George and Louis's Seafood restaurant where Greek salads and good seafood are on the menu. 

And then we parked downtown and Mr. Moon went to a sporting goods shop that caters to the hunters who hunt on those plantations. I would have taken a picture there but I did not have the heart. Everything from guns that cost as much as a reasonable yearly income to fine china with hunting themes. Things that cater to the horse crowd and the wanna-be horse crowd. Obviously, I did not want to shop there so I went to a little store down the street that I've loved for a long time. They carry beautiful little toys and I'd love to buy every damn one of them for my grandchildren, especially Magnolia June. 

They sell cards and vases and body care products and jewelry and tableware and bed linens and cookbooks and, oh, every damn thing. Ten minutes in and I was overwhelmed. And it's just a small shop, really, and there weren't that many people there and I've been there so many times before. 
I bought a jigsaw puzzle and ran out the door. 

By that time I was having physical symptoms of anxiety and they did not get better when I went into the sporting goods store to find my husband, only to be greeted by a taxidermied full-size bear of some sort towering over the front display like a guardian god. 

Time to go. Time to flee. We did stop by the farmers' market where I got things to make a mango salsa tonight as well as okra, peaches and corn. I was fine there. 

I've made the salsa. 

We shall eat it with some snapper that Glen caught that I'm going to cook. 

I am so grateful to be home, I am so wishing that I was not the sort of person who cannot go out into the marketplace. There is a beautiful scarlet cardinal at the feeder and the sun is shining on his red breast. He is illuminated like a stained glass saint in a church. 

That's all. 

Love...Ms. Moon