The weather just cannot make up its mind around here. Was it only a week ago that we had icicles on the garden fence? Today it got up to almost eighty and was humid as hell. It feels like spring and I even saw a bluebird on my walk this morning which always seems like a special blessing, getting a glimpse of what looks like a tiny, concentrated piece of the sky, so intensely blue, so quick, so pretty.
Meanwhile, the Bradford pears in my backyard have finally and at last turned gold and are dropping off. They've been green as a grass snake up until about yesterday.
That plant above with its glorious berries is known as pyracantha around here. Isn't it intense? Can you see the small magnolia growing up behind it to the left?
So yes, I did take a walk today and by the time I got back I was sweaty and unhappy. Mr. Moon had made the mistake of putting on heavy overalls and a flannel shirt to go do some work outside and he had to come in and change. We have no idea how to dress right now. One day we're wearing wool and cashmere, and the next we're barefoot and panting like dogs under a porch. It should start cooling off again by Friday.
Here's another picture I took on my walk.
I cannot think that I will go the rest of my life without having chickens again. It's just unimaginable. How I miss their constant presence, their soft communications, their busy scratching and examining of the dirt for the things they loved to eat.
Y'all- I have either got to get out more or else just throw in the towel and admit to being an agoraphobe and I do not want to do that. Shutting myself off from others is not a healthy way to live. This has gone far beyond me not wanting to do things like go to concerts or the mall. Even just being in Publix is overwhelming to me and it wasn't that crowded and there was not one situation or person who made me feel threatened. I cannot quite explain it. I do not even really want to talk about it because it makes me emotional.
I think that at least a small part of it is that I find it hard to separate myself from those around me in the sense that I am constantly aware of their feelings. I had to pick up a prescription (Publix has a pharmacy) and because of a change in our insurance, things became complicated and people were lined up behind me and I hated being the cause of them having to wait and I hated the thought that the woman behind the counter helping me was stressed out because my situation was taking so much of her time. I apologized over and over.
And at the same time, I did not want the woman to know that I was annoyed. She was doing her best.