Sunday, December 23, 2012

What Are Y'all Fixing To Do?

Good morning! How's it going? Me? I'm fine. Another beautiful cold winter day here in Lloyd, Florida although the chicken waterer was frozen this morning. I felt like a real pioneer woman out there trying to break the ice so the chickens could get a little sip although not really because I didn't need an axe or anything, just my fingers.
Which got cold!
Ooh. Winter in Florida.
I've got the little heater on in the bathroom because those dogs are fixing to get washed. I can't take the stench one more day.
Do y'all say that where you live? That you're fixing to do something? We say that here in Lloyd. Although it can come out sounding more like either fixin' or even fittin'. 
I am fixing to wash the dogs and also make the eggplant and tofu casserole for tomorrow.

I love the eggplant and tofu casserole. You would too.

When I was a little girl there was a woman who came into our family via The Asshole, The Evil One, The Stepfather From Hell. For some reason, this woman loved The Evil One, probably because she was old and he didn't sexually abuse her. She wasn't really related to him but had been his landlady when he was attending college. And if there was one good thing that man brought into the family, it was this lady whom we called Granny Matthews. I've discussed her before but it's been awhile. She's really the person who taught me how to cook because I'd just watch her work in the kitchen which was really something to see.
Work probably isn't the word to use. She didn't make what she did look like work at all. In fact, I don't have any real memory of her doing any actual real cooking although I know that's what she was doing. She loved to wear nylon negligees in either black or red but don't worry- she wore the little nylon robes over them so it wasn't too shocking. Okay, it was pretty shocking but so what? She had whiskers and way stretched-out earlobes from a life-time of wearing big and gaudy clip-on earrings and she'd sort of glide around with a cigarette in her mouth and she'd do this and do that and baddaBOOM! there was a delicious meal.
"Y'all come on and sit down." And we did.
Some of my best recipes come from her. My pecan pie. My chocolate pecan pie. And the one I'm going to be making today- my eggplant tofu casserole. Now of course Granny Matthews did not put tofu in her eggplant casserole. I can swear with confidence that Granny Matthews had no idea what tofu was because it hadn't been invented yet when she was alive. I mean, pizza was still sort of exotic at that time. Okay, of course tofu had been invented but it had not arrived yet on the shores of the USA or at least had not made its way to Central Florida which is where Granny Matthews lived in a sweet little brick house on a brick street in Lakeland, Florida. She lived there and she also died there and yes, I know I've spoken about how she died but it's a story which bears repeating.
She was about eighty-something and the day she died, she had gone out and bought a new dress and had her hair done and voted and was at home sitting in front of her TV with her little toddy and she just died. Her heart attacked her and she died and she got buried in that dress and her hair was already fixed.
She got it done!

So back to the eggplant casserole.

Her casserole contains eggplant and onions and butter and bread crumbs and it sort of tastes like stuffing and it's delicious. Back when I was a young hippie, I started making it with smushed up tofu in it to make it a protein-rich main dish and since our Christmas Eve supper is going to involve chicken salad and ham which May does not eat, I decided to resurrect the eggplant and tofu casserole. Okay, I got some smoked salmon, too.
We are certainly not going to suffer for lack of protein around here.

Well, I better get busy. I just got off the phone with our Beloved Ms. Bastard who called me from Ohio and we had a nice little chat. It's so fabulous when Blog friends become real friends. And Mr. Moon will be coming home soon with the big doe he shot yesterday so he'll be in a good mood. The bathroom is probably warm enough to safely wash the dogs in although why I don't just take them out and wash them in the hose is beyond me because that might actually kill them and, well, you know.

But it's Christmas and it would be wrong to kill my dogs during the Christmas season and Owen would probably cry and that would make me sad. He does love Buster although I have no idea why.

I feel cheerful and almost merry even though I have to wrap those damn presents. I can't believe I've fallen into the piney-scented abyss of Christmas this year, but I have. As I told Ms. Bastard, I think it's because I've abandoned all dietary and beverage-related restrictions although I have not, as yet, started drinking before the sun has set which, thank god, it's setting pretty early these days.
I made snickerdoodles last night.
And I am done with cookie baking. I swear on Granny Matthews' grave.

On to the eggplant! And the dog washing! And the present wrapping!

I'm fixing to have a real good day, I hope. I hope you're fixing to have one too.

Much Love From Lloyd...Ms. Moon


  1. It's -30C-ish here this morning. My dog had to be coaxed outside to go pee. How do you convince a 60 pound dog to pee?

    It sounds like you're well into the whole Christmas thing now. High five!

    Have a cheerful day!

  2. We still have to cook for the 36 coming on Boxing Day. I sure hope that they don't bring their boxes though. Enough is enough. I would likely not recycle them but use them to make a huge bonfire in the yard which would be all ecologically wrong. But hell.....a momentary lapse of reason happens to all of us.

  3. You do sound merry Ms Moon. Your casserole will be a success, and the spirit of Granny will be amongst you all. I can just imagine her with the clothes and the cigarette. Your description of her makes me think of Estelle, Joey's agent in "Friends".
    Have a lovely celebration with your family in the coming days.

  4. Lord, I better fix to do something: we wnet swimming, ate some high fat carbohydrate takeaway after, and now I just want to snooze. I need to make some sort of baked goods for my grandmother, chocolate cherries, nut stuffing and red cabbage, as I'll be gone for the day tomorrow. Busybusy sleepysleepy

  5. cleaning and rewriting my resume to make it look less teach-y and more administrative-y if that makes any sense. tony is returning bottles so we can make meatloaf when we come home from his family's christmas on tuesday (because there is no finer christmas dinner than my husband's meatloaf).


  6. I think I'm going to tell the Granny Matthews story on Christmas Eve to my family, instead of The Night Before Christmas; it's that good!

    Glad to see that all is still just as beautiful as it was since I last visited your words, MM.


  7. Two of my good friends died when they were 70, each after a good day of gardening - one in her sleep, the other with a beer in her hand still in the garden. That sounds absolutely perfect to me, though of course 70 looms pretty close now.

    I'm fixinta go get me a cafe au lait and order of beignets at the Morning Call that opened up in City Park which is not far from me. I've been wanting to do that for months since it opened, and today seems a good day. And get money to pay the carpenter an advance. I'm always surprised at how bad people are at managing money (I've paid him thousands of dollars lately) and time (he hasn't started shopping for Christmas presents), but all I care about is him getting my house done so no judgment.

  8. Heartinhand- When Mr. Moon takes the dogs out he sternly admonishes them to PEE! and POOP! "Go poopy!" says this almost-seven foot tall man. And they do. So I guess that's how you do it. It does not work for me.

    Syd- Bonfires are terrific! And not so ecologically horrible. Really. Go ahead! Do it!
    Some friends of ours have an annual tree-burning party. You bring your done Christmas tree and there's a huge bonfire and they burn all those trees. Snap! Pop! Flame!
    It's real.

    Photocat- Except Estelle probably didn't have whiskers.

    Jo- We get ourselves through these holidays with fat and sugar and booze. And then...sleep. Lots of it. Good luck!

    Mrs. A- I think the world needs a good meat-loaf pot luck party. Everyone could bring "their" meatloaf and we could all sample all the meatloaves. Does Tony use bacon on the top of his? I do.

    Chrissy- Oh. Thank-you! Granny M would love her story to be told. She probably wouldn't like the part about the whiskers though. She lots of moles, too. But she was still beautiful. And she didn't wear a bra!

    NOLA- I'd rather die like that at seventy than to dwindle and get dementia and linger for years and years and years. I swear. I would.

  9. Mama, you are not allowed to die at 70. I'm sorry, but that is simply unacceptable.

    Now, I am fittin to make all my Xmas presents today. Last minute!

  10. I sure would love that eggplant recipe. I'm fixin' to get dressed and get on with the day myself.

  11. In MN we don't use the fixin' or fittin' terms. Nope - we use going or goin'. We also say things like "holy buckets", as in "holy buckets it is cold outside".

    I'm glad the piney smell got you and you're enjoying xmas - I'm stil waiting for it to get me, but I am "fixing" to gather with family today for ham and other goodies, so maybe it'll get me then.

  12. Mr. Downtown- Duly noted. Hope you're having fun today! I always love what you make.
    And I love you.

    Elizabeth- I'll send it to you. I put way too much tofu in mine this year.
    Oh well.

  13. Happy Holidays Mary to you and your family!

    When it comes to a "Southern draaawwwwllll" I can whip it out since I have some Southern blood in my veins. I say fixin' and there is many y'alls. It's how you say it...and I was just saying to my hubby and daughter I miss hearing a good Southern drawl. Say it slow and easy, like you have all the time in the world. Not like here in CA where everyone speaks so fast.

    Yesterday was the traditional failed cooking day. I think it is important to have one day during the holidays that you have issues with cooking and then everything else thereafter works. For me it was making Biscotti. Just isn't working for me this year. I'm thinking of passing it on to the hens as treats...

    Today I'm baking bread and so far so good.

    So far our dogs have been good but I'm keeping the gate up so my Tucker can't go in where the gifts are and chew them up. He has had his bath and Stewie never seems to smell....

  14. Fixing to bake some cookies and try to push missing my mother to the back of my mind, since she's where she needs to be right now. And I'd love the eggplant recipe too...

  15. fixin', yes, with no 'g'. When I was 20 and at art school in Chicago, I had a pottery class and the teacher was giving us a tour of the studio. I happened to see a slip mold balanced very precariously on the edge of a counter and the edge of a stool. One little bump and it would be broken on the ground. So being a good girl I got the teacher's eye, pointed at the mold and said, 'that thang's fixin' to fall' dragging out the last word as we tend to do down here. He looked at me and asked 'where are you from?' like I was from outer space or something.

    I am fixin' to juice a bunch of meyer lemons.

  16. I'm fi'n ta go to the grocery store to get the ingredients for macaroni and cheese. And maybe for a cake although I royally suck at baking.

    The BHE is fi'n ta fall asleep in front of football. He can never wait until NFL Sunday but always dozes off on the late games. It's funny to watch.

    Oh well. That's all I'm finna do. As you can see, I ain't no count. (Real Southern stuff, here!)

  17. I'm thinking next year you just pay someone to wrap those damn Christmas presents!! ha!

  18. I'm fixin to wrap presents and count my blessings. you, dear mary, are one of them.


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