Sunday, September 11, 2011

I Don't Think We Learned Shit

When I woke up this morning after my almost-twelve hours of sleep (and I am not kidding you), Mr. Moon asked if this was going to be a pancake morning. He'd been up for hours and so was hungry and I told him that yes, it would be a pancake morning. Eventually.
And so it was.
He went out to the freezer in the garage and got some venison sausage and I cooked some of that and made peach and pecan and banana and flax pancakes with buttermilk and an egg and I set the table outside with a blue and white checked cloth and we ate out there, the birds and squirrels and dogs around us and it is as beautiful a morning as I've ever seen and now my house smells of coffee and sausage and I think I like the way the sausage smells far more than I like to eat it, although it is very tasty.

While I cooked I turned on NPR and of course they are doing the tribute to 9/11 and I'm having a hard time with this. I even heard GW Bush and god knows I had hoped never to hear his voice again and he was reading a letter from Abraham Lincoln to the mother of a dead soldier or was it soldiers? and in it was the term, "glorious death on the battlefield" and I wanted to scream that there is no such thing, no, no, no there never has been and never will be. Death is not glorious on the battlefield, it is ugly and the opposite of glorious and I don't care what the battle is about and even Abraham Lincoln calling it glorious is a big fat lie.

Yes. We were attacked ten years ago but not by a country, but by madmen, and then we turned it into something even more horrible and with countless more deaths of Americans and of people in other countries who had nothing, nothing, NOTHING whatsoever to do with that day ten years ago and as this country grows ever more enamoured with the Christian right we seem to grow farther and farther away from the things Jesus said about turning the other cheek and blessed be the peacemakers and even Thou Shalt Not Kill which Jesus didn't say but it's in that good ol' book they're always quoting from.

Well, in my opinion the madmen won. Air travel is about as ridiculous these days as sticking your head in an electric oven and none of those rules is going to thwart a true madman if he is mad enough to suicide himself into a skyscraper. But we, oh we good citizens take off our shoes and submit to full body scans and pat downs and the giving up of our fingernail scissors and must put our liquids in tiny bottles and we do all of it because of fear. We live in a world where we think that if we follow the rules (dietary, exercise, stay-on-the-path, whatever) that we shall be safe and there is no safety because this is LIFE and it is fraught with the unexpected peril which generally comes from a part of the sky we'd forgotten to watch but we continue on making more rules to comfort our fears and more wars to show our strength and Power Of Rightness and Righteousness and FUCK IT!

No, I have not forgotten the heroes of 9/11 and no, I have not forgotten those who died. I am just saying that life is full of heroes who themselves do not even know they are heroes until called on upon by circumstance and that life is full of death and to make a cult out of either is wrong.

I have not forgotten, either, how beautiful it was that day of 9/11 but I refuse to call it the most beautiful, clear September day in memory. For me, that would be today or perhaps yesterday or maybe it will be tomorrow. And I have not forgotten how we so blindly followed another madman (GW Bush) into a war and to speak up against it was to be called unpatriotic, a supporter of the terrorist, someone who does not support our troops.

Well, in my life I have been called many things. Hippie, liberal, niggerlover, commie, etc. So what? So the fuck what?

I am not flying a flag today, I am not ripping the bandaid off the unhealed wound of what those madmen did and I am not glorifying our country because we were "attacked." I don't think we learned a damn thing from that horror except to be more afraid.

Well, that's the sermon on 9/11, 2011 from here at the Church of the Batshit Crazy in Lloyd, Florida. It's the anniversary of a terrible day of death and there was nothing and there is nothing glorious about it and nothing we can say would make it so and no uncountable number of dead in its name can do anything but increase blood spilled and horror shared and grief increased and families left bereft, whether their loved ones worked in the World Trade Center or in a field in Iraq.

I'm going to go wash the dishes. I am going to go work in the yard. I am going to be aware and thankful for this beautiful, clear, September day while the names of the dead are being said and to the families left behind I will send thoughts of peace, hopefully, some day, although I doubt there will ever be.

And please- can we keep the word "glorious" for describing that which truly is and not for bloody death, never for bloody death? No. I am sure we cannot. But some of us can wish that we could.

51 comments:

  1. AMEN! I am going to walk down to the vietnam wall in a minute. I don't know why. I just feel like it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am in total agreement. I try so hard not to live a fear-based life and that's why I don't watch the news on tv.

    Also, I love the smell of sausage and love the taste, but I cannot stand the texture of it so I am content to smell it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great sermon. I agree that the only thing we learned was to be more afraid. Now THAT'S scary to me.

    I'm with you. Let's enjoy this beautiful day and be kind and thankful and gaze up at the glorious blue sky!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well said, dearest Mrs. Moon. Well said.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Which way are you going? Which side will you be on? Will you stand and watch while all the seeds of hate are sown? Will you stand with those who say ' Let his will be done'? One hand on the bible and one hand on the gun?"
    Jim Croce

    Love, daddyb

    ReplyDelete
  6. Exactly.

    Thank you for saying this. I'm going back to my own post and adding this as a link.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm with you, wack-woman...and they can call me all the names they want.

    And no. We haven't learned a damned thing. Well-maybe some of us have.

    ReplyDelete
  8. We may have learned how to be more self- righteous and filled with hate. And that is a sad thing to have learned.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love you Ms. Moon. Yes and yes; what is glorious is hope, is human, is fragile and is what loves in spite of, instead of, this awful soul-deadening fear.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you for expressing so eloquently what many of us (the silent majority?) believe.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hear, hear. Amen! Wow.

    Mary, You have outdone yourself with this blog. Every word is pure gold and pure truth.....so beautifully written that I am in awe and also sitting here and applauding like a madwoman. If I coulda I woulda said just exactly that.

    And ain't 12 hours of sleep glorious?

    ReplyDelete
  12. You have said exactly what I don't have the energy to say. I am going to link this to my blog today. Great post Ms. Moon.

    ReplyDelete
  13. SJ- I understand that.

    Lora- It always makes me happy with one of my more "strong" posts if you say you liked it. Thank-you.

    Lulumarie- Exactly, love.

    liv- It's what I'm thinking. What I'm feeling.

    Daddy B- I am starting to love Jim Croce through you. But I will always love you more.

    Angella- Thank-you, Mama-Sister.

    NOLA- Does anything ever change for the better?

    Elizabeth- I shall do the cursing for you, love. Always.
    Thank-you.

    Akannie- I hope we have. I do.

    Syd- NO kidding.

    Sara- You are right.

    Anonymous- If we could all just stop being silent and speak the truth and fear no man. Sigh. I wish I could about more things than I do.

    Lo- Oh. Well. Thank-you. And yes, twelve hours of sleep is something crazy-good.

    Jo- You have no idea the madness which has been going on here for weeks in anticipation of this day.

    ReplyDelete
  14. It couldn't have been said any better than this!!!

    Thank you.
    Linda

    ReplyDelete
  15. And I love you, sweet mm. One more and i'll quit.

    "which way are you looking? Is it hard to see? Do you say 'whats wrong for him is not wrong for me?' You walk the streets of righteousness but you refuse to understand. You say you love the baby and then you crucify the man."

    Love, daddyb

    ReplyDelete
  16. My thoughts exactly. Hatred and fear. Fear and hatred. Religion vs. religion. It was never meant to be this way. That is what we should learn from this. (In my humble opinion).

    ReplyDelete
  17. Blessed be the pancake makers.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Unfortunately I agree all too readily. I thank you for being bold enough to say it, because I avoided the subject altogether on my blog. I struggled with finding a way to express sadness about the loss of life on that day without expressing frustration and even greater sadness that our response has caused so much more lives to be lost. Not in spectacular fashion, perhaps, like bombings in NYC, but in other ways like land mines and sniper fire and bigotry.

    May those of us who believe humanity can do better always find individuals like you who are willing to stand up and say what is honest and true. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Amen, sister. Perfect day to pay you a visit. I found you through Towanda.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is perfect.
    Amen.
    Why don't I follow your blog?
    (over from Elizabeth)

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Towanda- Nothing more than "thank-you." Nothing less, either.

    Daddy B- Do you have any idea how much I love you?

    Bristolval- Hello and welcome and thank-you for coming by and for taking the time to read and leave a comment. That means more to me than you know.

    A- Amen.

    Kario- And welcome to you! Why "unfortunately"? Just because we do not agree with the masses does not make us wrong. I swear, this is true.

    Teresa Evangeline- Please. Come back any time. I am grateful to Towanda for sending you here.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Formerly Only A Movie- Come in. Sit down. Thank you for stopping by.

    ReplyDelete
  23. i love you ms. moon...and every word you have sung out to morning.
    a blue bowl of a morning where i am grateful to be your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I didn't want to go to any memorial dedications today. Flyovers of military war-craft? No thanks. If we had put all of our might into the security of our country without attacking another maybe just maybe lots more people would have jobs now.
    The whole day just makes me sad.
    Thanks for your thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  25. rebecca- A blue bowl. Nothing more beautiful to me. Thank-you love. I cherish you.

    Denise- The whole day should make all of us sad. God.

    ReplyDelete
  26. you had me at 'I don't think we learned shit.'

    Maybe I will post my 9/11 tirade against the sanctification of that event. I had about decided not to because my opinion is not a popular opinion. I wasn't planning on posting it til tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is beautiful and true and honest writing. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ellen Abbott- To you, too, I say hello. And to you, too, I say- who cares what is popular? These blogs are our rooms. We are allowed to say what we feel. Otherwise- what is the point? Speak your truth. No one else can.

    Joyful Sparrow- What a beautiful name. Thank YOU for coming by. Come back anytime.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pamela- I take lessons from you.

    ReplyDelete
  30. As the church folks say after a good ol' sermon, "The doors of the church are now open!"

    Sister Moon, I couldn't wait to see what you'd say today and you did not disappoint. YES, these blogs are our rooms and I do truly love coming to yours. Your transparency is awesome and I love how you have eggs on the picture but ironically you never, ever walk on eggshells.
    Love this room of yours. Everything about it. You are never afraid to say what everyone is thinking in some part of their brain yet you are the same sweet person that puts flax and peaches and all kinds of other fresh stuff off in the pancakes that I made from Bisquick and Bisquick only.

    Love me some Sister Moon. I sure do.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Such honesty. Thank you. Your sentences about rules and fear seemed especially true to me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sister Doctor- I just love you. That's all.

    Stephanie- It's the truth, isn't it? As if we could protect ourselves and our loved ones with such rules. As if. I wish.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Form a neighbour in Canada — very well thought out and well written.

    Only they weren't madmen. They were people of principle who followed their principles, on both sides. But following their principles hasn't made the world a better place. Just sadder and more dangerous.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Totally agreed, well written, I am passing this along :) I am glad to have found you, and I will be back :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Reading this made me feel as if I could breathe for the first time today. A wonderful post.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Glorious is indeed the very wrong word. There is nothing glorious about war.
    And religion is just an excuse to kill if you ask me. It's part of why I hate religion with a passion. Religion is THEEEEE most used excuse to go on a spree and wreck people's lives. Whether it be on a big scale or a small scale.
    I do think though that we do need to be afraid... it would be foolish to not be... Those fanatics screw up the place for all of us, so we can not underestimate them nor their fucked up thinking path...
    Or let me say afraid in another way: vigilant... We need to be open minded and very very vigilant. There are nutcases out there who don't give shit for a life, or two or thousands, they stop for nothing and nobody, and sadly enough they ARE dangerous. Fanatics always are... Let's hope that there is still time/hope for a world without religion where live and let live could be the message...

    ReplyDelete
  37. Rob-bear- Hello, neighbor from Canada! I think it's a matter of semantics. Madmen can definitely have principles.

    Donna- Hello! Visit any time.

    Mary LA- Ah. Then I have served a purpose and I am glad.

    Photocat- I just think that some humans have the religion gene and that the odds of it disappearing are too low to even consider. But you are right- if there has been anything in history which has been the rationale for going to war more than religion, I don't know what it is.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm with you on all of it, but especially the last paragraph.

    You know I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  39. From this side of the pond, you find me (and many of us in Europe, I believe) in total agreement. But it was a day to stop, commemorate, remember, and also think of what came after, and what could have been.

    ReplyDelete
  40. A- BLOODY - MEN!

    I never thought I'd hear any American say any of what you've said here.

    I have to come back. Please come and visit my blog, not that I can offer you the likes of this post.

    It's Towanda's fault I'm here, I'll have to thank her.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Ms. Bastard-Beloved- Yes, I know, and that is one of the comforts of my life.

    Francesca- Yes. If we had only humbled ourselves. But we did not.

    Friko- I thank Towanda too. There are many Americans who feel as I do. We just don't get a lot of media attention. But believe me- we are here.

    ReplyDelete
  42. The land of the free and the home of the brave...... Well quite a bit less free these days and collectively quite frightened it seems.

    From a far it has always bothered me that America didn't seem to stop and ask themselves why this guy and his mates were doing this. Calling him crazy is easy but he didn't do this randomly he hated America in particular, did he have a valid reason to? He thought so.

    Doesn't excuse what he did but understanding the motivation is probably a better prevention program than infringing on your citizens rights.

    Great post, enjoyed the pasion that was in it.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Big Dog- I agree- why didn't we even begin to explore why we were so hated? And I also agree that we have fewer freedoms now. You'll get no argument from me. I appreciate your coming by. I appreciate your taking the time to comment.

    ReplyDelete
  44. This post is so true. So real. So right.

    ReplyDelete
  45. O Hallelujah!
    And Amen.
    Whenever I try to write about the whole topic I get so mad that I would frighten people. You've managed to say what I would like to say but much more politely.
    And I cannot b'LIEVE that people don't know that Americans feel this way! More of us need to be making noise, I think.

    I got here via Towanda aka Rubye Jack, too.

    ReplyDelete
  46. June- Perhaps if more of us were less polite and spoke out, the fucking tea party wouldn't be where it is today. I get so angry. Sorry.
    (No I'm not.)
    Come again, any time.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Nonono.
    I meant YOU were more polite than I would be.
    There is a woman who lives in Ohio whose blog I read and I do not know why. She pisses me off every damn time. Boy! Does she ever love the Tea Party.
    Ugh.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.