Talk About Your Predestination

I am behind today and what does that mean when you don't have a job or any real commitments for the day?

I need to:
Take a walk
Go see Lily and Owen
Feed my chickens
Go to the store.

Big deal, right? So where does this sense that the day has gotten away from me come from? What is it in our internal selves that dictates a schedule, that creates anxiety if that perceived schedule is not being followed, that mysteriously ordained time-frames are not being kept?

I swear, I am beginning to think that everything and I do mean EVERYTHING is just part of our DNA, RNA, chemical make-up, brain chemistry, hormones, etc.
And that any attempt to change any of this stuff whether with drugs or meditation or exercise or knitting or praying is just an attempt at trying to control these internal, set factors. The more scientists learn about the brain, the more we know this is true. Buddhist monks can, with chanting, change the way their brains work over the years.
A person set to small, crafty tasks creates as much serotonin as certain antidepressants.

I have always said that I do not have the god gene, the religion gene. And I swear, I do not. As much as I wanted to believe in a comforting, all-knowing god when I was a child, I just could not bring myself to do it. I prayed. I read the Bible. The whole Bible. And none of it turned out to change the way I felt about god at all. The whole concept, no matter how god was framed, seemed anything but absurd to me.
And now science seems to be finding that yes, some of us accept as complete and utter fact that there is a god, while some of us just can't.
Ms. Fleur sent me a link to an article about this the other day. It is here if you care to read it. She also sent me the abstract to download of the study and it's too long for me to read through and too scientific and too filled with frontal lobes and MRI's and so forth but I don't need to muddle my way through the whole thing.
I know it's true.
Some of us are chemically inclined, from birth, to accept and need religion in our lives and some of us are not.
Phew!
I'll be glad when they can just do a test so that when someone tries to convert you you can just say, "Nope. Sorry. Don't have the gene," and be done with it. Of course, according to the study, the religious person will not be able to conceive of the truth of that matter, just as the non-believer cannot conceive of the idea of Jesus coming back to earth and there will be no more agreement or understanding than before.

So there you go.

In related but not as earth-shaking beliefs that I have, I don't believe I have the Patriotism gene, the fly-a-flag-with-colorful-symbols-of-the-season-from-your-front-porch gene, the need-to-control-my-children's-lives gene, or the club-joining gene.

I do have the writing gene, the chicken-raising-gene, the desire-to-love-and-be-loved gene and the gene which causes me to tremble with a bit of joy every time I walk into a library.
I also have the gene which causes me to get really angry about things which I perceive as intolerance and injustice and prejudice and feel I must do something about it.
And then there's the I-hate-housework gene, the I-love-to-cook gene, and the timidity-and-intimidated-in-the-presence-of-anyone-wearing-a-white-coat-even-if-she's-standing-behind-the-cosmetics-counter-at-the-mall gene. Let us not forget the old-southern-lady-yardworking gene.

Yep. I'm blaming it all on my genes. And when some of these genes get in the way of my life, I suppose I need to do something about it and the easiest thing seems, at this point, to take a pill, which helps but does not cure. Believe me.

And I need to go take a walk now because that helps too.
I am trying, timidly and with great reservation, some meditation.
I don't have a lot of faith in that one, but why not try?

Just please don't ask me to pray about it, okay?

I don't have the gene.