Update

That picture is not from the hurricane. It is from right this second. I think we're getting more rain now than we did during the storm. It is POURING DOWN. 

Y'all- it's been a ride. 

Like I said, the storm itself wasn't bad at all for us. I mean, it was bad enough to take down trees and take out power for most of Leon and Jefferson Counties. Leon is where Tallahassee is, Jefferson is where we are. The sheriff's office in Jefferson County is saying that it's going to take a week or two to get everyone's power back on. Now, because we have the generator, I'm not worried for us. 
Well, that's a lie because I worry about everything and worrying about a massive piece of equipment that provides electricity for our entire house is a more appropriate thing to worry about than most of the shit I worry about. 
BUT, most of the people around here do not have a generator or if they do, it's a small one that can keep their refrigerators powered and perhaps allow the use of a few lights and a fan. Many people have wells that they depend on for their water and that requires electricity to pump it so it's not just power they are doing without- it's water, too. Which is worse. 

Shit is real. 

I never posted last night because very soon after I posted yesterday after the storm, our internet connection went out. And of course our cell reception was almost nil. I could walk to the church yard next door and make a call or text but not from here. That came back stronger last night so we didn't feel quite as isolated. But somehow the lack of internet just about killed me. I had no idea I was this addicted. I think that part of that is the fact that I am so fully reliant on my routine and a good part of that involves wifi capability. And even before the storm I had been experiencing anxiety. A bad case of it, and yesterday it increased incrementally to the point where I felt sick with it and then it crossed over into crying and, well, it was not pretty.

But I slept. I slept and I slept and I slept. And woke up, crying again. However, as the day progressed, I began to feel less anxious, less depressed, and then magically the internet reappeared and I feel so much better now and am wondering what the fuck, Mary? What was that all about?
I guess they don't call it crazy for nothing. 

I was having a hard time even reading but I could sit down and listen to a mindless podcast and work on my jigsaw puzzle for periods of time. That helped. 

One missing piece. I got this puzzle new out of the box so I don't know what happened to that piece. My theory is that Jack knocked it off the table and Ralph ate it. 

Look how lucky we are:

That's how close that huge branch came to hitting the fence. Like, six inches and it would have crushed the fence. Of course, it would have been nice if it hadn't taken down a power line but it could have done both and yet, did not. Mr. Moon has not chainsawed it up and hauled it to the burn pile yet. I think we are both in a state of ennui from the whole experience we've gone through. And it is still so very hot. And so very, very humid. He did clear a large branch that fell to the side of the driveway and I've picked up some smaller branches and taken them to the pile. It's going to be a massive pyre by the time we've gotten everything cleaned up. Got any corpses you need burned? 

All of my children except for Lily got electricity back before dark last night. Lily lives in a fairly distant part of Leon County, not so far from here, at the end of a long dirt road. The kids are with their dad who does have power so they're okay. 
Again- we are so lucky. 

This is how crazy I was last night- I had picked a few little twigs of a blooming Abelia plant while I was making a phone call from the church yard and then picked a little branch of Beauty Berry. I came in and put them in a vase and later on, I was trying to tell Mr. Moon how much I loved Abelia and why and I was crying so hard I could not talk. 
Literally. 
The story is simple. The first time I was ever aware of this plant was when I was living with an amazing woman right after I had moved to Tallahassee and Abelia grew in our yard. She told me how much she loved it with its browns and pinks and whites and I saw it through her eyes and found it beautiful. I have ever since. And the thing was, is that when I was living with that woman I was in one of the darkest depressions of my life at the age of nineteen. It had been going on for months and months and I had no idea what was wrong with me and it was so hard to find anything that I found beautiful. 
But Paula gave the Abelia's beauty to me and she she shared her home and her joy and her laughter and her constant enthusiasm about life, and loved me despite my darkness. 

And that's what I could not say out loud last night. 

Here's what the sunset looked like from Old Lloyd Road after the storm had passed. 

The birds have been back to the feeder since yesterday afternoon, gobbling up seeds, feeding their young'uns, cardinals and finches and doves all sharing. 

The torrential rain has almost stopped. There will be more to do tomorrow. We woke up this morning to find that another limb had dropped without us noticing it. A large pecan branch with a huge wad of mistletoe. 

It's bigger and heavier than it looks. It had fallen right beside the generator with some of it's branches actually on the precious machine. I was able to pull it away a few feet, but just. It's too heavy for me to drag to the pyre. 

Please know how incredibly grateful I am for all of the care and concern y'all have offered to me. Comments have been lovingly read, emails, too. I appreciate you all so much. The grace you extend to me and to mine is beyond belief and I thank you with every bit of my heart.

Love...Ms. Moon