Hoo-boy. Do I have a story to tell today. I should probably be embarrassed to tell this story but I am not. I think it's hysterical. The incident I am going to discuss happened on my walk today. Yes! I took another walk! Hoo-ray for me!
So I wanted to do another shortish walk but perhaps a little longer than the last one. So I walked about half a mile down the sidewalk and came back and then headed "into Lloyd" which basically means I walked up Highway 59 again, past the GDDG and around the corner to Main Street, past the fally down house, etc. About two miles in I had to pee. Pretty badly. Okay, desperately. And at that point I was in "downtown Lloyd" meaning I was walking on a road with houses on it. Now because I know myself and know that I cannot walk for more than a few miles without peeing, I've got my secret places on every route I take where I can duck into the woods and pee in private. I have been doing this for decades. Not kidding. And indeed, I have a pee place in Lloyd right next to the big old Baptist church. There's a tiny trail that I never knew existed until I was looking for a place to pee once and like a heavenly revelation, I spotted the place you see above. It's just a little old trail, overgrown, off of a side road to the church. I can go down that trail and then around a slight bend, and not be seen from anywhere, especially in the summer when all of the bushes are full and the grass is high. As you can see.
So I was hoofing it down the trail to the bend in it, got there just in time, pulled down my britches, squatted and peed and as I was putting myself back together I looked directly in front of me and saw this.
For about a second, I was horrified, but I got over that real fast. And then I just laughed and took a picture of it. I had about zero fucks to give when it came to someone retrieving the card from their camera to find an old sweaty woman peeing in the woods.
"Why? I don't care."
"Well, whoever it belongs to is going to see you around here and recognize you."