Tuesday, February 1, 2022

As Hank Said, "Who Let Them Read 'Animal Farm'?"


 I heard a kerfluffle from the kitchen this morning and walked in to find this. I could practically hear Jack saying, "Yeah, I did it. So what?" As is the nature of cats, he showed no remorse whatsoever and perched up there regally for a few minutes to make sure I was aware of what he'd done and what his attitude about it was. 
I said, "Damn, Jack," and cleaned it up. At least the bowl didn't break.

Then I went out to the hen house to let the chickens out, feed them their scratch, fill up the feeder with laying pellets. And this is what I found there.


To top it all off, yesterday when I got back from my walk, the tablecloth on the back porch table which had been perfectly intact when I left looked like this.


I know that was Jack too because he'd been lying on my chair right in front of that. What the heck, animals? 
Are they planning a take-over or are they just slowly asserting their dominance? 
Who knows?
Not me.

I took another walk today. Yes. I did. Believe it or not. I can barely walk now. Oh well. Pinot was sitting in No Man Lord's yard and got up to talk to me as I passed. We had a little conversation. No Man Lord was eating at a table outside his RV and didn't even look my way. This is how he is. I respect that. But Pinot told me that his auntie had died. She was 93. The last of his mother's siblings to go. His mother is dead too. Pinot is the same age I am so I would assume that she'd passed. Still- an aunt living to 93 is something. 
He asked me if I still had chickens. He knows darn well I do as he walks past my house almost daily and sees them running about the yard. I told him that yes, I did and he said, "You got any eggs?" 
Again I told him that yes, I did and I said that I'd put a carton on top of the post by the gate for him which I did with a note rubber-banded around the carton that says, "Pinot."
They're still there. 

A few weeks ago I was talking to Lis and we were both bemoaning the state of our homes as pertains to order and cleanliness. We agreed just to be sluts of housewives (which is what we were accused of being by a mutual friend the night we fell in love) and not worry about it. She called me today and when she asked what I was doing and I told her that I was trying to clean the oven she said, "What about our sluts-of-housewives agreement?" 
"I don't know," I told her. "I must be really bored."
After I got off the phone I did clean the oven the best I could without using the caustic chemicals that are the only things that really clean an oven. When I got my new stove, I vowed to wipe it out after cooking each thing in the oven but of course I have not. We keep the burner surface as neat as a pin but the oven...
Well. 
After I did the best I could with that, I went truly insane and decided to try and clean the mildew off the stair trim. It was bad. But Jesus Christ- the ceiling is covered in mildew (mold?) and it's about fourteen feet tall or perhaps taller. I do not know. And patches of paint are coming off. We just try to ignore such things. But for some damn reason I got the urge to clean this. 


That's an after-shot by the way. 
I lugged a bucket with Fabuloso and vinegar up to the top and stuck my arm through the stair rails and tried to use a scrub brush to get rid of the nasty stuff and that did nothing. Plus I was scrubbing blind. Plus it was extremely awkward. 
Plan B involved a spray bottle with bleach and water and and a rag. That worked a lot better. 
Bleach is magic. 
BUT.
Some of the bleach water liquid dripped down into the thermostat. 


Which then switched the temperature setting and would not respond to touch which is how it operates. 
You know- I just should not clean. 
Anyway, Mr. Moon took it all apart and called someone who knows about thermostats for advice, dried it all out with a heat gun and I don't know what else. Reset it at the circuit breaker box? 
Anyway, it appears to be working now. 

After all of that I pointed out where I'd cleaned and said, "Doesn't it look better?" 
He said it did but he wasn't nearly as impressed as I'd hoped he'd be. 

I think I'm done with cleaning for a few days. Maybe tomorrow I'll take a break and go do my weekly shopping. That's always sort of stressful but at least it doesn't require me to expose myself to industrial strength cleaning solutions. At least my hands are disinfected now. Or at least they smell like they are. And of course I am looking forward to trimming the roses with all of their thorns that rip and tear right through gloves and sleeves and also the confederate jasmine with its milky, sticky sap that is probably toxic to all living creatures. 
Why is everything out to kill me? 
Oh, I know it's not. Not really. 
Just my animals. 
As Joseph Heller said once, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."

That's it for today, kiddies! 
See you tomorrow.

Love...Ms. Moon

31 comments:

  1. Animals, the dark side.. I think they had a meeting. This looks orchestrated.

    It's possible that Mr Moon's muted response related to the repair work to the thermostat, but I'm just wildly surmising.

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    1. "This looks orchestrated."
      That made me giggle.
      I really don't think that Glen was upset about the thermostat but mainly he realizes that if I start cleaning things he might have to deal with things like...mildewed, peeling ceilings. Etc.

      Delete
  2. Forget the cleaning shit. Get yourself a little Guatemalan maid and lie on the sofa eating grapes.

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    1. No. I'm going to get a big, strong bloke to be my cleaner. His name shall be Ivan.

      Delete
  3. In love with your stair case! You've got the groovy home! And animals with a sense of humor. Hank's comment is hilarious and perfect!

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    1. I really do have a groovy home. And I'm not the first hippie to live here.
      Hank is a hoot as you well know by now.

      Delete
  4. Definitely enough cleaning. Back to walking it off, and hand delivering Pinot's eggs. Except there's the possibility he didn't actually want any, but just to know if you had any. As in "Your hens laying in this crazy weather?"

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    1. No. He made it quite clear that he wanted eggs. And I asked him if he wanted eggs. Yes! He did!
      They are still on the fence post.

      Delete
  5. I have been very slowly trying to improve the cleanliness and tidyness of our house. the main trouble is that it keeps getting dirty again. Sometimes I dont make it through the weekly chores, never mind bigger endeavors! Today I didn't do the dishes but I went through a jewelery drawer. Felt good, but the dishes are looming at me... So kudos to you for tackling that terrible task!

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    1. It was a pretty terrible task but it's done for right this second. It will, however, grow mold again. That is the way of it. And this is why cleaning is so damn pointless.

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  6. Oh dear. I feel as if Jack probably read my comment and has begun knocking things off tables because he has read that it is what cats do. My apologies.

    Whatever you have must be contagious. Today I washed down my bathroom walls and also wiped the woodwork down on my stairs. (Disclaimer: Your stairs are gorgeous, mine plain and utilitarian.) I also used fabuloso, lavender scented.

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    Replies
    1. Jack goes through phases of wanting to knock things off surfaces and then he quits for awhile. It's like he gets bored with it but then a few weeks later rethinks the situation. Who knows? Cats.
      Sounds like you got a lot done! Maybe the planets are aligned in cleaning.

      Delete
  7. I can relate to all of it -- the pain walking, the cleaning, the slutty housewives aspiration, the whole shebang.

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    1. I love that word- "shebang". I believe I will now try and use it more frequently.
      You can be a member of the sluts-of-housewives organization.

      Delete
  8. Mildew and mould (mold) are the same thing, with mildew being the early stage. Do you know why it is forming? Is there damp coming through from the other side? A leak somewhere? Or perhaps steam for the kitchen is collecting there? My cat currently lives under the bed, I guess it's her happy place.

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    1. When we moved to Florida in 1959 my mother said, "This is not the sunshine state. It is the mildew state."
      It is true. With our humidity it is impossible for things not to grow mildew (and mold) on them.

      Delete
  9. Ha ha, I would just remain a slut if I were you!!!! But I agree with your comment about your hands. Some people have beautiful hands but mine always look like they've just come out of a bucket of bleach or off the compost heap! And I love Hank's comment about Animal Farm! Some days it seems to be true doesn't it!

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    1. My hands generally look pretty rough too and now they are becoming as gnarled as Keith Richards'. But they do not hurt! So I am grateful for that.

      Delete
  10. Jack's attitude is no mystery-- it's the pride of accomplishment. A task conceived and perfectly executed!
    The mystery is why he (and cats in general) think knocking things off elevated surfaces is something worth accomplishing in the first place. It's not a brilliant or original idea, improves nothing-- and gravity does most of the work anyway.

    But try telling that to Jack. Besides, he might consider your cleaning efforts inexplicably bizarre. To each his/her own.

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    1. I doubt Jack has even one thought about me cleaning up what he knocks over. He does what he does and that is all there is to it. As long as I pet him when he asks me to and keeps his bowl full, I am not worth his consideration.
      At least this is how I see it.

      Delete
    2. I meant that he considers the cleaning you do for yourself and family is bizarre. (Sweeping? Mopping? Why?!) Cleaning up after him--if he even notices-- is a nice little favor you do for him so he can knock things down again.

      Delete
  11. Fancy staircase! A clean house is overrated. A clean house is the sign of a boring person, someone who has nothing to do but clean. Unless, of course, you're paid to do it. I'd stop if I were you.

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    1. "I'd stop if I were you."
      Haha! Good advice, Ellen! I wouldn't want anyone thinking that I'm boring!

      Delete
  12. After I seriously hurt my shoulder, I broke down and hired someone to come help me clean. It took the 2 of us working together twice a week for 3 months to get things back to a respectable state. What did I expect after more than a year of no serious cleaning? Anyway, things are much better and Natalie still comes at least once a week. We have a fun time cleaning together. She does the heavy things that are beyond me now and between the 2 of us the place looks good. It was hard for me to actually let someone come into the house, which is my private sanctuary. And then covid on top of that! We stay masked the whole time except when we sit outside for our tea break. My whole attitude toward life is vastly improved to not have the sole responsibility for housecleaning. Give it a thought!

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    1. I most definitely have thought about hiring someone to help clean. I think at this point I'm just too embarrassed though! You know- the whole "you have to clean before the cleaner gets there" syndrome? Yeah. I don't even have a bad shoulder to blame.
      But honestly- I think it would indeed change my life.

      Delete
  13. So I was going to wipe some floors yesterday, but then I read that a person should not wipe or sweep floors on Chinese New Years (which was yesterday) because you are sweeping out your good luck! So I couldn't do that... I can easily talk myself out of most chores!
    Have a restful day!

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  14. Ha! I love that Joseph Heller quote. It's funny that Jack knocked that bowl off the table just a few days after one of your commenters (I can't remember who) marveled at the fact that your cats don't knock stuff off your tables!

    Animals are a mystery, as we've often discussed.

    Hopefully Pinot has picked up his eggs by now.

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    1. Well, Jack does sometimes knock things off of surfaces but just never (knock wood) the hallway vanity. Lord, what a mess that would be. I would cry.
      Pinot has not picked up his eggs.

      Delete
  15. That Hank. He's got the jokes! And your stair trim is lovely!

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  16. Yeah, Jack really, really doesn't care, does he? I kind of quite like that aspect of cats. Your staircase is really pretty with that decorative woodwork on it, clean or not.

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