Wednesday, February 13, 2013

What Sweetness There Is, Is To Be Savored

Ah, home. Finally. Some days just seem so long. Too long.
The meeting. Well. I don't want to talk about it. I probably really shouldn't. But it wasn't easy, going over all of that stuff again. I'll say that.
And Mr. Moon's at a basketball game and I have things to do for Valentine's and a few other things and I need to set up this new coffee pot and by god, I'm keeping the receipt on this one. I probably made the stupid decision to get the same maker, just a newer model, because I like the way it works, the simplicity of it, and hey- this way I'll have an extra carafe, right?
Sure. Why not?
Fuck it.

I'm tired. It's been a tiring day. My mother died one month ago tonight. Not in a good way, either.
Okay, okay. I'm not going to talk about it.

It was sweet to see my brother. He is talking to me. I am so glad.

My boys were precious. I will get them here tomorrow in the morning and I bought (I can't even believe this) a roll of cookie dough to make Valentine's cookies because Owen said he wanted to do that tomorrow. And icing. And sprinkles. Can you imagine the fun? Oh boy.

It's supposed to get cold. The wind is coming and dying, building and ebbing.

When I left Lily and Jason's house, Jason was holding Gibson and when I went in for a good-bye kiss, Gibson held his arms out to me and pulled me close. It was the sweetest damn thing in the world. Ever. to be hugged by a not-quite eleven month old boy.

So there. There is plenty of sweetness. Just in time for Valentine's.

And I'll take all I can get.


  1. I am picturing little grandbaby arms wrapped around you and it's a precious thought.

  2. Gibson smothering you with kisses always brings a smile to me. I think it is just find that you bought roll of dough - I would be thinking I was crazy too, but really it is about making memories and you being such a damn fine grandma.

  3. Dear Mary- i want you to be my valentine. For true.

    I'm at clinic. I'm done with my patients. I'm eating chocolate covered cranberries.

    And your blog life is one I follow. Because of the way you care about the world. And your sweet babies and grand babies. In spite of it all. I feel it all the way to here.

    XX Beth

  4. Nicol- Even his daddy said, "Aw. That's sweet." And it was.

    Jill- The older I get, the more I realize that it is ALL the elements which matter. And Owen and I will mix sugar and butter to make cookies one day but he is three and it is going to be a busy day and that roll of cookie dough will be fine. And Gibson won't care one way or the other, that sweetie boy.

    Beth- I cherish you. So much. You really have no idea how much your words to me mean. Or maybe you do. I hope so.

  5. There could be no better valentine than a hug from sweet Gibson -- how adorable is he???? He can see your goodness so early in life and that is something. I hope you have a peaceful sleep and you have energy for that cookie making! S. Jo

  6. I'm happy about your brother speaking to you. Grief (and all that trails along with it) is hard enough without silence at such a time.

  7. I'm sure that meeting was destined to be unpleasant no matter what. Sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad your brother is speaking to you and that Owen and Gibson are there to deliver some much needed Valentine's Day love and enthusiasm. :)

  8. I hope your heart can be at peace now that you have the rest of the story about your mom. Lay it down now and just concentrate on healing. All that matters is that you miss her.

    How you grandmother reminds me of my mother in law. She was THE BEST grandma to my kids. They have the fondest, fondest memories of her. Thank god for role models.

  9. I don't know about the meeting but am glad that you got through the day and have your grandbabies to love. It has been a hellish week for me.

  10. I think talking about it is good. Even when your eyes are puffy and your throat hurts from talking. It is how we work shit out. But then again, I don't know shit either.

    I am sending love to you.

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    Happy Valentine's Day!


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