Monday, November 24, 2008

Red Means Stop and Green Means Go

Yes. That is me.
Me in the star's dressing room of the Monticello Opera House, preparing for my next role.
Don't you love me?
Don't you want to BE me?
I thought so.

Wait. Wait. I'm having a delusional moment here.
That's not really me. That's not the dressing room of the Monticello Opera House. Did you guess that already?
Yeah. I figured.

But really, I do have a role in the next production. I get to play:
Sally, Marion, Nancy, Esther, and Judith.
In a seventy-minute play.
Five very different women.

I haven't been this excited since I got to play Emily in Our Town in high school.

I am also feeling a bit nervous and fragile. It's two days before Thanksgiving and all I have done is the partial shopping. Oh yes. I made the cranberry relish.

And then I ate it all.

No, no. Again, I am telling a fib. I did not eat all the cranberry relish but I did think about it. It's so good, those tart cranberries and the orange and the apple and the pecan. And the cup and a half of sugar.

This is the time of year when it's so easy to let all the good things we do for ourselves fall by the wayside. The walking. The eating right. The being sensible, sane and sober. All of that tends to get left behind like the quietest child still in the bathroom when the family pulls away from the truck stop.

Where's Jamie? Oh my God. We left Jamie at the truck stop. ERRCCCKKKK! Dad does a U-ie on the interstate.

Where's my sanity? Where's my peace? Where's my thigh muscles? Where's my fat jeans?

The best thing to do, of course, is to take inventory before you leave the truck stop and pull out onto the crazy highway of Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Years. Think about it all. Determine what is worth jettisoning and what is necessary for survival. It's so much easier to carry on with all passengers on board than it is to halt the breakneck speed of this particular interstate and try to turn around mid-race.

I fear I'm mixing my metaphors.


Okay. I'm checking the car. Everyone here? Speak up.

I am pulling slowly out onto the highway. I see landmarks ahead. Happy family, big feast, fun times at the Opera House. I am ignoring the wrecks on the side of the road. The house that isn't very clean. The chaos that is definitely going to happen.

I have both hands on the wheel. I am eating my cereal and soymilk. I am cleaning up the garbage that some animal got in last night. I am going for a walk. I am remembering what my daughter just told me which is One Thing At A Time and First Things First.

I am obeying the speed limit. I am watching out for the other traffic. I am remembering that it's all about the journey which means, take the time to enjoy it. Arrive safely with everything and everyone on board.

Lock the doors. Put on your seat belts.

Here we go. Turn up the radio.

Sing along. Dance in your seats. Enjoy the view.

We'll get there when we get there.

Meanwhile, here we are.


  1. wow! does that come in a bottle? and how do I get some??

  2. Ms. Bliss- love you, too, honey.

    DTG- of coursse.

    Nicol- wish you were going to be here, WITH YOUR IPOD!

    Magnum- does what come in a bottle? My insanity?

  3. Me too! Thanks. :)

    And, even though I know you were kidding, I would have been tempted to eat the cranberry relish too. I love that stuff. You're talking about the kind with the orange rinds, right?

  4. Of course, Nicol. Hmmmm. Orange rind. With one and a half cups of sugar.

  5. well if that's insanity, we could all use a little bit, it seems fun!

  6. I'm ashamed to admit....I love the cranberry jelly in the shape of its can. I could eat it every day. I have weird food texture issues, so the smoothness of it delights me.

  7. As a veteran of many Thanksgivings, including one with a group of Puerto Rican relatives of someone arriving with tamales wrapped in cornstalks and another with three guys from Kuwait named Fuad, Fadl and Fudi, and one here in W.Va. where the turkey carcass ended up on the roof of a car to keep the dogs away and piles of dirty pots and pans were on the front porch, I must say that I've learned to chill out and just let it happen. Oh, and my sister LoPo and I were once left inside a gas station bathroom somewhere in Canada when my dad drove off without us. We were very little and barefooted and scared to death. I recommend not leaving small children behind. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. And maybe nobody will notice that the relish is gone if you break down and eat it all yourself.

  8. 5 characters - WOW! That's great! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  9. Man, am I the spoilsport. I cannot stand cranberry relish or sauce of any kind. To be truthful, I really don't like Thanksgiving! I only like the gravy!
    But I would love to play even one role, let alone FIVE! Is that what happens when you live in a teeny small town??? ;)
    And Nannygoat, I wasn't scared. I was the brave big sister, remember?

  10. Rachel- don't apologize. I actually love Velveeta although I don't allow myself to eat it.

    Nannygoat- great stories! I doubt I will eat all the cranberry relish but if I do, I will not feel guilty.

    MOB- yep. It's gonna be fun. And a challenge in the costume changing department. You have a good Thanksgiving, too.

    Lopo- You don't have to like Thanksgiving. You KNOW how I feel about Christmas.
    And yes, that is what happens when you live in a tiny town. Isn't it great?

  11. Great post! I'm with you...feeling a bit stressed of late. HOWEVER...I playd Emily's Dad in my high school production of "Our Town." Sadly, I have forgotten the character's name at this point, but the girl who played Emily was a large breasted and very sweet senior(I was a sophomore), so I remember having weird Oedipal feelings during the production!

  12. I can't remember Emily's dad's name either. But then, I was in high school about ten million years ago. This was actually community theater so the fellow who played my dad was an older guy.
    I HOPE he wasn't having weird feelings about me.

  13. I hope someone tapes this, Ms.Moon, because I expect to see you on youtube! :)

  14. Don't hold your breath, Lopo! Nice picture!


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