Monday, June 16, 2008

Somebody's Got Some 'Splainin' To Do


So tell me Jock Girl- what's up with this:

I had a weekend. The sort of weekend where any sort of healthy consciousness I might have was so frightened by the amount of bad food and partying I did that it was forced into hiding under the bed, trembling in fear.

Honey, I consumed the holy trinity of badness:
Bacon
Ice Cream
Tequila.

And you know what? I feel better today, both physically and mentally, than I've felt in weeks.

I'm serious.

And as a disclaimer I have to say the bacon was consumed in a sandwich on whole grain bread with tomatoes from the garden and the tequila was consumed in a very small amount but the ice cream?
Let's just say I've had my dairy for the week.

And I don't usually even care about ice cream that much.

But last night? I cared. Oh baby, I cared a lot.

And I did not sleep well last night. But I got up early and Jock Girl stood there with her hands on her hips and said, "Get your fat, lazy, ice-cream-eatin' ass out that door right this second, Ms. Chubette and I mean it!" and I did and it was a great walk.

Except for the part where I saw bear tracks. Big ones. Bigger than my foot, for sure. That was weird. I wasn't sure what they were at first but then I did a bit of cogitating and realized there was nothing they could be but bear and I have to tell you that even though I am quite aware that Florida black bears do not attack humans for no reason, if I saw one you'd hear me screaming all the way to Tallahassee. I mean, I'm sort of startled when I see a rabbit. Bears are one of those things I admire and think are really cool in theory, but in up-close reality I just can't handle. Not when I'm all by myself in the woods, carrying nothing to defend myself with but a nice linen napkin which I keep in my pocket and use to wipe the sweat out of my eyes.

But there you have it. I feel incredibly good, I didn't see a bear, I've got my clothes hanging on the line, I went to yoga, and life is strangely great.

And my son, Mr. Downtown Guy, has a lovely post up about Dog Island with a haiku by Billy and even a picture of Billy and if you haven't see it already, go there.

And Juancho has a picture of bacon! And if you click on the title, you will find bacon recipes!

It's such a good day.

9 comments:

  1. Bears! I love them. I don't want to love them up close, though.

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  2. What's a bear doing in Florida in June? I thought all the snow-birds/bears only go to Florida after Thanksgiving and head north before Easter.
    I think tequilla washes out all of the artery clogging fats in the bacon and ice cream. Next time, pour the tequilla on the ice cream, then light it for a Baked Alaska effect.

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  3. Oh. We have bears. Plenty of 'em. Florida Black Bear. I've seen them from a car, but I truly do not want to see one up close and personal.

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  4. And as to the tequila and ice cream?
    No way I'd waste good tequila in such a manner, Ms. MOB!

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  5. I dreamed last night that my boss gave me a bottle of tequila for doing a good job.

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  6. You keep walk, I'll ride and if we see a bear...we will both scream!

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  7. I think if you see a bear, you are supposed to give it ice cream, bacon, and tequila and then it will be your friend and let you hold its babies. And then you have to say, "Oh My! What lovely babies!" even if they are not that cute because we are talking about bears here and this is no time to press your luck.

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  8. Oh May. You always make me smile.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.