Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Update On The Jennifer Lopez Ass


Well, sadly, it's gone. I no longer resemble Jennifer Lopez in any way whatsoever unless in the way that we're both female bipedal human beings with eyes on the front of our heads.
She's a famous Latina singer and actress who recently gave birth to twins and who is married to a talented but unfortunately not very handsome man, while I am a completely unknown writer and mother who had her children one at a time and who is married to a talented and very handsome man.
It all works out.
While I do still have quite the discolored lump back there, it doesn't in any way, shape, or form look like the eighth wonder of the world that Jennifer so proudly (and justifiably so!) displays.
Sigh.
It's healing. It itches. And it's a sort of hurt-itch. Not the end of the world, but the tiniest bit annoying.
And I am reminded that I am incredibly fortunate that when I landed I fell exactly where I did because otherwise, I'd be on crutches.
Or in a wheelchair.
Phew.
Just thought you might be wondering.
Plus, I just like saying Jennifer Lopez's ass.

6 comments:

  1. Mama, it may not be as giant and round and juicy as the Georgia peach water tower, but you can still shake it like you're gettin' paid. Shake that little white ass! Woo-hoo!

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  2. DO I HAVE THE BEST KIDS IN THE WORLD OR WHAT???!!!
    Wanna hear something amusing? One of the bridesmaids posted pictures from the wedding on her myspace page and there's a shot of me and the man dancing and it's all about the ass. It's funny.
    We're old, but we're still funny.

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  3. Hilarious! Shake it like you're gettin' pain :D

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  4. Well, at least send me an e-mail telling me where to find it!! :)

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  5. I meant to say paid. Why can't I spell!!!

    I think I have a late-onset learning disability :D

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  6. Ms. Lo- you have to be one of the "friends" to get on that myspace page. I have to have Lily's husband get me there.
    I could probably get the girl to send it to me. If so, I will send it to you.
    Actually, Ms. QG- I DO have pain, so your typo was actually quite to the point.

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