Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Blog-O-Meter


Another beautiful morning here in North Florida and we got some rain in the past few days so you know things are green.
The guinea hens from next door are rattling their rusty gossip talk as they pass through my yard and I'd pay them a dollar to eat up all the squash vine borers but they have no pockets to put money in so they're of no use to me. Neither will be the squash, dammit.
The baby child is back home from college where she had a stellar freshman year, whipping the ass of chemistry and biology and making it look easy. She's thinking about looking for a job and about to have a birthday.
I should be happy, I should be enjoying this cool morning in late April but truthfully, I'm in something of midlife crisis #197 or early-elderly crisis #42; I've lost track.
Same-old, same-old: go out and get a job you lazy old Ms. Moon. Make some money and help out with the bills but it's got to be a good job to make the drive into a place of employment worthwhile, not to mention the fact that you'll have to buy a new wardrobe since most places don't let you come to work in a pair of overalls.
Here's what I did yesterday:
Went to yoga, did a thousand loads of laundry (okay, maybe only seven), swept some floors, took the trash and five types of recycle to the place where you do that, filled in a ditch where an irrigation line had been laid, did a little garden tidying, cleaned a bunch of spinach and shallots, cooked some small red beans for dinner and made fresh corn tortillas, mended a pair of jeans for my husband.
And...I also filled out an online application for some sort of position with hospice.
Not easy.
Work experience?
Weight Watchers and the Birth Center.
Describe your position:
Tried to help people loose weight, encouraged women in labor and then cleaned out the jacuzzi.
Basically, that's it.
I'm sure hospice will personally drive to my house and award me with a high-paying job any second now.
I've said it before and I'll say it again- the only work I'm qualified to do is the sort of work we used to call "women's work" (and which mainly and realistically, still is) and the sort of work that people (women) do for free.
The kind of work you can do in overalls.
How much DO they pay ditch-filler-inners?
Today's Blog-o-meter says: Feelings of worthlessness, despair, anxiety and fast-approaching old age.
Better go eat my prunes and fiber-flakes and take a walk. I definitely want to live to the ripe old age of 65 so I can collect that $90 a month that Social Security projects I'll be getting.
I can't seem to come up with a snappy ending line here to tie all this self-pity and wallowing together so I'll just apologize and we can all get on with our day.
Really. Sorry.
Go have fun.

11 comments:

  1. Feeling bad about not having a job is actually better than having a job. Ride it out, the urge will likely pass.

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  2. Praise be for Juancho's words. How many times I've felt the same, but then I picture myself -- vividly picture myself putting on actual clothes and driving to an actual job with an actual boss -- and realize I've read too many magazines. Just think. You'd be dying for the weekends to come so that you could do all the stuff you do as the mood hits in TWO DAYS before you had to put actual clothes on, drive someplace on time again on Monday morning. If we get the Pelican Post back, I would hire you in a second for a few hours a week during which you could do all that "women's work" in overalls or cut-offs, but alas, it's a long drive. Hey. That's it. Turn your house into an old-style (vs. chi-chi new style) B&B and then you'll see that "women's work" does in fact pay! :)

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  3. Isn't it funny how little events make you(us)completely question our self worth? I have never been able to assemble a decent resume. Somehow I have managed to survive. Work is not who you are it's what you do to pay bills. If it works out and you get a day gig, then you will be more than able to do the job. My advice is, get an interwiew first, and kill them with your southern charm. They'd be lucky to have you.
    Go with the beige open toed numbers....
    w.b.

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  4. And get this- I just realized that fully half (and the only part that would truly translate to a hospice job) of my work history happened NOT IN THE PAST TEN YEARS, BUT TWENTY YEARS AGO!
    Shit. No wonder hospice hasn't called.
    And it's not MY urge to get a job. It's the man's urge FOR me to get a job. He's weary.
    B&B? Have strangers in my house that might expect pancakes in the morning? That might expect a bathroom they don't have to go up and down stairs to use? That might expect clean sheets?
    I'll think about it.

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  5. And Mr. W. Ball- open-toed beige numbers?
    I live for your shoe advice.

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  6. You should see him rock a pair of pumps!

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  7. We actually studied this in grad school. They'd draw a simple graph to explain how once women took their prime years (even a small chunk of their prime years) to care for the homefront, their value in the labor market plummeted. It really sucks, and the only consolation there is that you are not alone.

    I think you would be amazing at hospice, so it's really a damn shame. My moms worked there for like 10 years. Intense. But when you help somebody pass, and somebody else grieve, you become their angel. And you are a wonderful angel.

    Yet even there she found annoying bureaucratic bs & people issues. Such a joy it is to be working for herself. She gives therapy now the way she thinks it should be done. And fuck this "your hour is up" stuff. She'll go hours, just because she thinks that will benefit them most. She has become a different person...

    I think that's what you need to do, quite frankly. I hate to see you undervalued out there. I bet there is a way for you to funnel all of your many skills and talents into your own sidework. You can do just about anything online- and I've got the software to build websites ;)

    I wish you luck. It clearly demonstrates our cultural biases and problem areas when a wonderful woman like you 1) can not be appreciated on the market, and 2) feels like shit because of it.

    P.S. The class where they talked about this the most, was taught by this micro-economist guy. His career is now tenured, laureled, and doing Very well. He has two children, who are being raised by his PhD wife, who plays second fiddle to him always. I've seen her get pissed off too. The problem is he thinks he's big shit now. Our value system is working out pretty well for him. But it's just a stupid system. Keep bringing yourself back to the place, where you can see 1) your incredible worth and 2) the "social construction" of our reality, and the fact that it is some rules some asshole guy made up.

    Fuck them. You Rock!

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  8. I would totally trade a mulberry cobbler to see HWB rockin' a pair of pumps. You bet.

    Wow-Quiet Girl- you are the Chained Beast Stamping today. No doubt!
    Did your mama go back to school to become a counselor? I have actually thought about that. MSW or something. I take comfort in hearing stories like that and I am sure your mother is a blessing and an angel to many.
    Hospice- well, can't say enough about that organization. They were there when my beloved father-in-law died and when my Lynn died, too. So many parts of that organization come through to help people at the very most difficult times of their lives. And the state legislature in Florida is trying to cut funding so that Medicaid would no longer pay for their services which would have meant that Lynn certainly would not have had them.
    This is so wrong.
    What are we, as a country, thinking?
    Perverted priorities on so many different levels.
    And on a different note- QG- aren't you about to interview for those jobs?
    I surely am thinking about you and sending you the best ju-ju.
    Beige open-toed pumps?

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  9. Close-toed, black, shiny, and so zexy! The perfect accent to the suit.

    My Moms went back to school for a master's in counseling psychology when I was 9 or so.
    http://www.lindacarney.net/aboutlinda.html
    She just learned Rapid Trauma Resolution in the last couple of years (a new technique being pioneered by some Dr. Connelley) and is having so much success with it.
    People will come in with major trauma, usual sexual abuse or something like that, and several hours later they leave her office feeling better! A few sessions for the tough ones. I wouldn't believe it either but it's true. She is having so much success with her clients, at first she worried about having enough when she "cured" them so quickly. But they just keep coming. I could not be prouder! She's become a different person in the past year. She has just self-actualized and wow.

    Not for nothing, but, there still aren't enough people out there practicing the trauma relief, and workshops are going on continually to train...
    http://www.cleartrauma.com/

    And I will be collecting ALL this juju and taking it on the plane with me! I don't know what I do without you guys!!!!!

    Woo-hoo! :)

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  10. Which one of you ladies feels like making us all some sandwiches? I'm feeling peckish.

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  11. Oh, go drink some soup, Juancho. We ladies are trying to become self-actualized, find employment and figure out what shoes to wear.

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