Tuesday, June 13, 2023

And Wait! There's More!


I have taken no pictures today but I've had this one on my desktop for quite a while because I love it so much so there you go. That was Owen and Gibson about eleven years ago, I guess. Owen was so excited when his mama was having Gibson although he was not quite sure about the whole thing when he was first born. I remember that Boppy had taken Owen off to play while Lily was in labor and when he brought him back to meet his new brother, he got up on the bed with his mama and admired the baby for a moment or two and then suggested that she put him in his little bassinet. 
He quickly adjusted though, and soon enough, those boys were staring at each other, studying each other, and learning each other as babies and children do. 

It's been a long day. Well, long-ish. Mr. Moon had a short doctor's appointment for a small procedure today (all is well! no worries!) and I met him at the office where it was to take place and waited while they did it which was so quick that I'd only read about two NYT's articles on my phone, one about some woman named Dr. Emily (she's not a real doctor) discussing the opening up of relationships. You know, that is an interesting topic and from what I gather, nonmonogamy, as it appears to be called sometimes, is something that younger people explore with openness and honesty these days. And I am under no illusions that there are not plenty of older people who romp in the field of differing sexual lifestyles too. I have no problem with the concept. If that's what people want to do and it's cool with all parties involved- go for it! Personally, I was never anywhere near comfortable with the idea although I did have a husband who romped quite a bit in his day. I lived in denial for many years and will never forget the moment I realized that he was indeed having an affair with a woman that I had sort of thought he might be seeing on the side, but had refused to allow the reality of that to enter my consciousness until one particular point in time and I will never forget that moment. It was if I'd been struck with an iron skillet on the head and on the heart. It was not a conjecture. It was a certainty. I felt so much shame and grief. 
But cheating is not the same thing AT ALL as an open relationship with the blessing of all involved. And there's nothing new about it. Sexuality is something that can be explored in so many ways, isn't it? And although I am a jealous woman who does not care to share, and always have been, I look upon those who manage to create these alternative types of relationships with some curiosity and no judgement. 
Life is short and should be lived as fully as possibly, I suppose. 

All right. So obviously that was not what I meant to write about today. I didn't really have a topic in mind, as usual. So yes, it has been a long day. After Mr. Moon and I parted ways at the doctor's, he taking my car and me taking his so that he could get my oil changed, I took myself to lunch and got a burrito which I mostly ate the insides of because no one needs an entire steamed, blanket-sized white flour tortilla. But the insides were quite tasty- chicken and black beans, and rice, and so forth.  
And then I went to Costco which was packed with people. So many people. I just kept my head down and got what I needed. I did not see Beautiful Brenda which was a sadness. 
And then on to Publix where they had no pint canning jars so forget that but they did have "our" coffee on sale BOGO and that was good. I got to see a lady who works there whom I have come to know over the years. She used to work in customer service but now works in the deli and bakery. I think. She was working in the deli but I saw her today in the bakery so- who knows? But we caught up for a minute and she told me that it's been such a relief not doing customer service all day every day. I would probably have a law suit brought against me after twenty minutes of working in customer service. How do people do it and retain their sanity? Anyway, it was good to see her. 

Okay- here's something that happens when you get old(er) that you aren't expecting- the baggers at the grocery store ask you how heavy you'd like them to pack your bags. Have I discussed this already? It happened to me today as it usually does these days, and I said, as I usually do, "Oh, I'm still pretty strong." And I am. Not as strong as I used to be but strong enough to haul my groceries in. And if they pack the bags too lightly, then I'm going to end up carrying six of them in at a time, rather than two or three so it doesn't really matter. 
But I never saw that one coming. Obviously, I look like a frail old woman which is so funny because I feel like a strong old woman. Sort of. 

When I got home and got everything put away, I picked about another thousand or so green beans and some tomatoes and I just feel overwhelmed. It was less than a week ago that I was bitching because the bugs were getting all our tomatoes and now we're getting five or six gorgeous ones a day and I can't keep up with them, much less the green beans. 

But it's a great problem to have. 

However, it is so hot outside and so humid that I had sweat literally pouring off my body and also into my eyes and I was miserable. You reach a point where you just say, "I can't. I cannot do any more." 
And that's it. 
I feel such despair because there is so much weeding that I should be doing and my knees just aren't up to it and it's too hot and yes, we need to start doing container gardening but at this moment, we have beautiful rows of peas and okra and tomatoes and peppers and I want to take care of them. But it's always like this when the garden really comes in and the days are hot and the humidity is high. The garden overwhelms me and the bounty overwhelms me and I sob and I moan, "I am not a Mormon woman!" which is perhaps the most obvious thing on earth so why do I feel this compulsion to grow and can and preserve? 

Who knows? Not me. 

Another thing I do not know- why a young black bear came swimming out of the gulf onto the beach and then ran into the dunes in Destin, Florida. Destin is not that far down the road from us and is a gorgeous beach so at least the bear has good taste. Just google "bear, Destin" if you'd like to see video of the event. 

And in more bear news, Jessie reports that she almost hit a bear cub today on the mountain in NC. It either fell or ran down the hill into the road where she was driving. Thankfully for all concerned, she did not hit it. There was a mother and another cub, too. It would have been so sad if she'd hurt the cub. 

And so it goes in this world of ours. Bears on the mountain, bears on the beach. 

Boy. This was a rambler of a post. 

Thanks for hanging in there with me. 

Love...Ms. Moon


38 comments:

  1. Sex, shopping, gardening, grandchildren and bears, it was a wild ride:) That's why I enjoy your writing Mary. Hope you have a good evening as well.

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  2. Do you share any of your garden bounty with your neighbors? Family? Set up a table by the road and sell the excess! Share with folks who don't or can't have a garden ... there must be many seniors who can't do all that you are doing! Hell ... I would take some of your excess veggies if I lived anywhere close to you! But ... it's Floriduh and DeSantis country ... so ... that ain't happening!
    Love ya!

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    1. I do share with my kids. Sometimes with a neighbor. I should be more generous that way.

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  3. wow! You covered so many topics SO nicely today! Thank you, as always you have cheered my day and made me ponder things. the least of which..is nowadays......I *do* feel old (at times) when I ask the nice baggers at grocery to please don't make the bags too heavy! My shoulders cannot take lugging them all in without complaint if they are too heavy. And.....they are gracious and thankfully comply. Thank goodness Jessie didn't hit a bear......it would have been so heartbreaking. May you have a lovely evening......
    Susan M

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    1. The baggers at Publix are notoriously kind and professional. It's not a surprise they ask.
      So far my shoulders have not given me any trouble. That will happen before long, I am sure.

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  4. And I was left wondering what the next paragraph would bring. We started with babies and ended with beans, and sandwiched bears, an oil change, a doctor visit, lunch, shopping and more between. On the whole, a normal day in the life of Mary Moon, and that's why we turn the page to find you.

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    1. Exactly, Joanne! Well said! Susan M

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    2. Oh, Joanne! Thank you so much.

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  5. Your mind is a wondrous thing, Mary. Where did that bear come from? Did no one see him go into the water? A mystery for sure. And he's not talking.

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    1. The bear probably came from another beach not too far away. There are state parks over there.

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  6. Another wonderful glimpse into the life that is Mary Moon and my day is all the brighter because of it.

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  7. Great post. Have a sweet night.

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  8. 37paddington: a wonderful ramble if you ask me. Bears on the beach, bears on the mountain just about sums it up. Non-monogamy. Hmmm. I think people who are not jealous or fearful of losing another person are uniquely powerful. I wish I could say that was me.

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    1. Wow! Your statement about people are neither jealous or fearful of losing a love blew me away. You are right- what powerful people they are! Can you imagine having that sort of confidence?

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  9. Nonmonogamy makes me feel sad. Not sure why but I think betrayal of trust might have something to do with it, but that is our culture, the world we grew up in. Vows are old hat I reckon. and VD can be dealt with so...(?)
    Still , for some reason it makes me feel sad. Love is a trickster.

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    1. I guess if all the people involved are completely aware and fine with what's going on, there is no betrayal of trust. Now if that is NOT the case...
      Well. It hurts a lot.
      Love is indeed a trickster.

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  10. I saw that bear swimming then running up the sand! It was on our TV news all the way down here in Adelaide South Australia!
    I love the photo of the boys, although I did think at first it was August and Levon.
    I think if I had enough yard and decent rain I would be growing too much as well, so I guess I am thankful for my small patch with poor soil and no room for veggies, because I KNOW I couldn't keep up with canning or freezing or pickling.
    I also know the nonmonogamous lifestyle could never be for me.

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    1. I read where one state park guy said that bears are not infrequently seen swimming but now that people have cameras wherever they go, we are seeing more evidence of that!
      Yes. Gardening and dealing with what you grow is not an easy task. It is real work. Work that I am not sure I'm really capable of any more.
      I'm with you on nonmonogamy.

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  11. Is it commonplace to get your bags packed for you in a food store? It doesn't happen here! I wouldn't want anyone else to do it anyway as they might put heavy stuff on top and squash everything else. Most of our stores are short of staff to do the normal things so bag packing isn't going to happen!

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    1. Yes. All food stores bag for you except for Costco and they don't use bags. And baggers are trained not to put the heavy stuff on top- they are professionals! And usually do a good job.

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  12. But how exciting to see a bear!!!!! I'm glad Jessie didn't hurt it though!

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    1. There are many bears up on the mountain where Jessie is now. She saw some on her walk today too! AGGHHHH!

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  13. I saw that bear. Well, the video. And I figured Destin was nearby and immediately thought 'good Lord, she has bears AND alligators.'

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    1. Yes- and get this- sometimes RATTLESNAKES can be found swimming in the gulf. I mean- really?

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  14. Such a sweet pic of Owen and Gibson! And I thought of them when you were talking about gardening and weeding and having so many beans and tomatoes... Can't you hire them to help you out? Wouldn't it be good for them to learn about gardening and wouldn't Lily be glad to get the beans and tomatoes they pick? Or maybe a neighbor that would like to help? I get free produce from my brother's garden plot because I help him with the watering when he is out of town... Just wondering...

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    1. Owen and Gibson would definitely come in handy helping in the garden. I'm not sure they'd do it though, even for money. It's so damn hot. They do help Lauren and Lily with their garden and do yard work for their other grandmother.
      Most of my neighbors are as old or older than I am and the ones that aren't, work full time and I doubt they'd be interested.

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  15. my first husband, the rat bastard as I prefer to refer to him, wanted an 'open' marriage. actually what he really wanted was for him to fuck around but not me, what he really wanted was to bring into the daylight what he had been doing all along and wanted me OK with it but he was not OK with me indulging. frankly, at that point I was happy for him to be bothering someone else. I did indulge a time or two or three but had the decency to keep it to myself where he just had to brag. I divorced him after 3 ½ years and not just for the sex thing. he refused to work or even look for a job and did drugs all day while he expected me to work and do all the other house things. I didn't mind the whole sleeping around thing because I didn't marry him for love but to escape from under my father's thumb and knew I would divorce him (fortunately for me no fault divorce became legal the year before we married). my second and current mariage is a different story, totally monogamous. I think monogamy strengthens a marriage.

    the sackers here ask everybody if they need help getting the groceries to their car regardless of age. well, maybe not the 20 somethings.

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    1. Ellen, you and I have more in common than we probably even realize. Your rat bastard shared a lot of traits with my first husband. A LOT.
      He's a much better husband to his second wife now though. She whipped his ass into shape.
      Our baggers always ask if they can help us out to our cars too. I never say yes. Oh wait! I did when I had broken ribs.

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  16. What a wonderful post, Mary! I especially loved your wise pronouncements/thoughts about sexuality and your own curiosity and lack of judgement. I feel much the same. And bears -- I always remember the photo of a bear falling from a tree -- I think it was somewhere in Florida -- and it inspired me to write a prose poem that I later had published on some online source.

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    1. Here's the link -- it's not really a poem, though. Just a weird association typical of my weird brain: https://qarrtsiluni.com/2013/04/29/when-bears-fall-from-trees/

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    2. Elizabeth! I loved that! I don't think I'd ever read it before. Thank you.

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  17. LOL -- this WAS a rambler of a post!

    I think the idea of non-monogamy is interesting and I certainly agree that if people want to try it, they should go for it. But it seems to me that it would be destabilizing to a relationship, even one founded on the understanding that non-monogamy is OK. If you want a long-term relationship, particularly one where children are involved, I still think monogamy is the better way to go. I guess I'm old-fashioned that way, despite my rainbow-flag waving.

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    1. Being gay or gueer-supportive certainly doesn't mean that you aren't traditional in your relationship, especially as pertains to monogamy. So many different ways to love. So many different ways to live.
      But I sort of agree with you when it comes to relationships with children although...I guess some people can make it work.

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  18. I just watched the video of that poor bear. He looks scared. I would be too with that many people on the beach.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.