Do y'all remember when I brought back all of those sea grape seeds from our trip down to Roseland and planted them? I swear, they must have all come up but every one of them, EVERY ONE of them died before their leaves were really formed completely.
So when this one sprouted, the very, very last seed in the pot, I had no hope for it at all. But here it is, getting a little bigger every day and I am so afraid I'm going to jinx it by posting that picture but that's silly. I really need to put it in another pot with sand mixed into the soil because sea grapes live near the beach with very sandy soil and this one is probably wondering what in hell is going on.
I'm waiting for Mr. Moon to come home. I have no idea when that will happen. Possibly much later tonight. When I talked to him last night he was typically vague, not having a complete plan yet. I bet that he and Chip are trying to get as much done as possible before they load up and leave. I'll be so glad to have him home and safe again but it's been a good thing, thinking of him out on the island, taking, I hope, at least a little time to enjoy it. Chip posted a few pictures of a sunset on FB and I just stole this one.
That's the view from the back deck which, sigh, obviously needs replacing. Remember when there were two pine trees there? We've lost one to rising tides, the other cannot be long for this world. But oh, it's still so beautiful.
I made some more pickled green beans today. Eight pints to be exact. I'd post a picture but at this point I am quite sure that you all know what a pint of pickled green beans looks like. No need to show you eight more.
I took a walk this morning, very short, and it is quite apparent to me that if I don't start walking regularly again, I will soon not be able to. I am already unable to keep up the pace I used to. Honestly, this scares me to death. Walking has always been my super power.
I have GOT to do better.
I have something that I've been pondering and well, sort of obsessing about for awhile. Right after Goddess Tina Turner died, I watched a video of her on the David Letterman show from 1993, which if my math is correct, was thirty years ago so she was about fifty three. Of course she looked fabulous and she sang like no one else in the world has ever been able to sing or ever will be able to again. And that was all great.
But then.
Then.
When she came to sit in the chair by Letterman, he started doing this thing. She was wearing a pair of jeans and one of the knees was ripped out as was the style then and is the style now. And David started poking her knee with his finger where the jeans were ripped and you could tell that she didn't like it.
"That tickles," she said at one point, covering up that tiny naked spot on her knee and moving it away from Letterman's reach.
But Letterman didn't stop. He kept doing that like it was so funny when it just wasn't.
Then.
When she came to sit in the chair by Letterman, he started doing this thing. She was wearing a pair of jeans and one of the knees was ripped out as was the style then and is the style now. And David started poking her knee with his finger where the jeans were ripped and you could tell that she didn't like it.
"That tickles," she said at one point, covering up that tiny naked spot on her knee and moving it away from Letterman's reach.
But Letterman didn't stop. He kept doing that like it was so funny when it just wasn't.
This is the sort of thing that is triggering for me. When men think that they're being funny by touching a woman in any sort of uninvited way. It happened to me frequently when I was a child, when my stepfather would come to "tell me goodnight." And it is the farthest thing from funny. It is not innocent. It is a power move, a control thing, and to do it to a child is wrong and to do it to Tina Turner is wrong. I wish she'd stood up and walked off the stage. But here's the thing- women, especially women who have been abused (and who was more abused than Tina Turner?) have been taught since the cradle that taking offense at "innocent" unwanted touch is ridiculous. It's nothing! And if a woman does speak up about it, she is labeled as a crazy bitch, as being way too sensitive. As being silly. No harm meant! No harm done! God. Can't you take a joke?
Right? Right?
Wrong. So very, very wrong. And hopefully, thirty years after that recording was made, David Letterman knows far better than he did then that to touch a guest in a way that makes her uncomfortable is absolutely unacceptable.
Right? Right?
Wrong. So very, very wrong. And hopefully, thirty years after that recording was made, David Letterman knows far better than he did then that to touch a guest in a way that makes her uncomfortable is absolutely unacceptable.
And can you imagine what a man would say if another man started poking or tickling him in the knee or anywhere else on his body, for that matter, uninvited and unappreciated? There would be no question that the someone was asking for trouble. Men don't touch men like that. Men obviously can't take a joke.
So this did trigger me and I keep thinking about it and all the times that men have touched me in my life in ways that may have appeared innocent but which were actually quite threatening and made me vastly uncomfortable while I never said a word. We teach children these days about "bad touch" and "good touch" but that doesn't go nearly far enough, I think. I had no problem as a child recognizing that what was happening to me was quite bad touch but I had no way to stop it. The man who was touching me had all of the power and authority in the world over me.
And I loved him. I trusted him. So even if I'd known about bad touch, as a thing, as a real thing, I would probably have simply done what I did anyway which was to doubt myself, to feel shame and guilt, and to keep this secret within myself where it caused so much damage.
And I loved him. I trusted him. So even if I'd known about bad touch, as a thing, as a real thing, I would probably have simply done what I did anyway which was to doubt myself, to feel shame and guilt, and to keep this secret within myself where it caused so much damage.
The idea of telling any adult that I knew what was going on was unfathomable.
And watching Tina uncomfortably laugh off David Letterman's unwanted touch brought all of that back to me and my heart bled for Tina Turner, probably one of the strongest and most majestic women ever to live on this earth. I am certain that the message that women's bodies were not theirs to have autonomy over was taught to her from the earliest age and then literally beat into her for so many years by Ike Turner.
And we all celebrate her and admire her so much, and rightly so for leaving that man and making her own life, having her own career, living life on her terms, but even she, even Tina Turner, sat there and did not make a fuss when the biggest guy on late night TV, a man who could literally make or break a career, thought he was being funny by tickling her knee.
And we all celebrate her and admire her so much, and rightly so for leaving that man and making her own life, having her own career, living life on her terms, but even she, even Tina Turner, sat there and did not make a fuss when the biggest guy on late night TV, a man who could literally make or break a career, thought he was being funny by tickling her knee.
Here's the video if you want to watch it.
There is the possibility that I am reading way more into this than is really there but- isn't that what we are always told?
Yeah. It is.
In good news, I've booked a house in North Carolina for next month. I have great feelings about this place. There is a hot tub on the porch and a creek right out back and I can just see us all, sitting in that cold rushing water until we're chilled to the bone and then going to sit in the hot tub to warm up. Creek to hot tub, hot tub to creek. And back again.
I think it will be lovely.
Love...Ms. Moon
i'm with you 100% on the tina thing. xxalainaxx
ReplyDeleteHighly inappropriate.
DeleteI'm in total agreement on the touch thing. It used to be thought funny to grab a young girl around the waist, or the neck, as one if my brothers in law often would, and I wasn't supposed to object. When I did, he retaliated. A grown married man, a young kid. I wonder how far he'd have gone if I hadn't registered disgust. Yes, any unwanted touch isn't okay or funny.
ReplyDeleteI wonder too, how far he would have gone. I think men do that- touch a girl or a woman in a fairly "innocent" way to see how much she'll allow. And yet, as innocent as they try to make it, I think most of us have absolutely no doubt that it feels wrong.
DeleteThis day, this minute, we would slap away the hand and possibly demand an explanation. Back then she removed the hand. But she was a grown woman. Probably even today many children do not have the courage required.
ReplyDeleteAnd, you will have an excellent time in North Carolina.
I wish that sexual abuse prevention and reporting could be taught starting in kindergarten. I really do.
Delete100%
ReplyDeleteYes m'am.
Deletewith you 100% also. You......and Tina. Hope Mr Moon gets home safely, if even late.....you and Maurice will be waiting! And....Dog Island.....what a lovely place........ glad Glen got to enjoy, if briefly
ReplyDeleteSusan M
He is home!
DeleteLetterman had NO right to touch her, period. Do you remember the Mike Wallace interview years ago when he asked her "if she deserved this house"? He asked her this in her own house in Europe. She got in his face and he stopped, but IMHO she should have ended the interview and thrown him out.
ReplyDeleteI do NOT remember that interview. What a crock of shit! Tina Turner was obviously far more gracious than most of us knew.
DeleteLetterman was sleazy throughout the whole interview. It made my skin crawl.
ReplyDeleteHot tub and creek. Heaven on earth.
Yep. Sleezy and predatory.
Deleteah yes, the patriarchy does rule and now, if we reject them we are likely to get shot...alas.
ReplyDeletedog island is beautiful and I am so glad you have decided to sell it. Our cabin on the beach was beautiful too, best thing we have done was to unload it. We have other fish to fry, don't we.
Fucking patriarchy. With every day of my life I hate it more.
DeleteYou're probably right about the Dog Island house. Now I just have to figure out what fish I want to fry.
David Letterman was always creepy and she does look uncomfortable around him. We need to teach little girls to tell men to fuck off when they feel uncomfortable. I wish I had.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. And we need to teach little boys how to grow into men who do not make girls or women uncomfortable.
DeleteI did notice David moved a little closer to Tina with every sentence and then the touching, which I agree was wrong and to keep trying to touch after that should have got him a slap on the hand. From Tina.
ReplyDeleteI hope by now Mr Moon is home and safe and your getaway home sounds perfect. A hot tub! *Swoon*
She should have slapped him and left.
DeleteI think the little boys, especially, will love the hot tub.
What a creep. It makes me uncomfortable to watch.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteWe had a creep at work who "innocently" crept up behind women at the photocopier and ran his fingers down their back or got up real close and blew on the back of their necks (with his bad breath). There must have been so many complaints over the years about this guy (for more serious things than that I guess) that when I was in work (in HR) early one morning, two of my bosses came into my office and asked if I had to accuse just ONE man of being a sexual pest (out of about 750 people) who would I choose. And I named him in one! Turns out a girl had hooked herself up with a recording device and more or less got him to admit that he had forced her to give him blow jobs in order to keep her job - she would have been deported if she lost her job (guess who got to type up the tape)!!!! He was called in 10 minutes later and told to retire or else. He came out of there stuttering and unable to say a word and was gone the same day!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad they fired that fucker but honestly, they should have reported him and had him arrested. That is all there is to it. Oh, that makes me furious.
DeleteNow that we know all the creepy stuff Dave was doing behind the scenes, I think this is even more cringe worthy and inappropriate. He keeps sliding his chair closer to her and puts his hand on the back of her chair. Completely a power move--a jerk move--a total dick move. Yes, we have a right to be pissed at the patriarchy. And no amount of his charm offensive in "My Next Guest Is" is going to change that he was--and maybe still is--a white man blissfully unaware of how he lives out his privilege. Can you image a BIPOC man getting away with this? Nope. It would be interpreted completely differently and seen as threatening.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. He did actually admit to some pretty sleezy behavior. For many years now I have tried to convince myself that nah, Letterman was just a funny guy who made a few mistakes but I'm over that at this point.
DeleteI sincerely hope that one day girls and boys will be seen as people and not objects...and adult women and men, too. For we who believe God created us in God's image, it is mandated that we honor that image, not demean it. As for walking, I am in SW FL, and put on my walking clothes as soon as I make my bed! Maybe taking a bottle of water with you as you walk would help...it sounds as if you do have shady lanes for your strolls. Thank you for continuing to write...I look forward to reading your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, as I am sure you know, religious settings are hotbeds of child sexual abuse. I wish that those who proclaim their belief were indeed more apt to respect others. Obviously, many of them do not but use their positions of authority and their cloaks of goodness to get away with horrible things.
DeleteYou are so right about the water. I should be taking some on my walks. Thank you for reminding me and thank you for reading here.
Ironic the video is titled Tina Moves Like Jagger when it was Tina who taught Mick how to dance on stage.
ReplyDeleteAin't that the truth? I do love videos of Tina and Mick performing together. They take hotness to a new level.
Delete37paddington: what an uncomfortable interview. Her body language was so closed, she was so clearly uncomfortable and his touching her knee, totally unacceptable. She was indeed a wonder, and now she is gone.
ReplyDeleteNow that you’ve booked a place to stay, you can start anticipating all the fun. My aunt grace used to say that was one of the best parts of a trip.
Your Aunt Grace was right but you know me (because I'm just like you!) this is when the anxiety truly ramps up!
DeleteWasn't Tina a wonder? She blew through so many boundaries.
Dave has always seemed kind of slimy to me. A bit of a jerk and a sexist one, at that.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right.
DeleteI hear what you're saying and I agree that women have had to put up with a lot of unwanted touching because up until recently we have been powerless and totally dependent on men for our lives but I think the reverse of a man touching a woman (a light touch on a knee as opposed to actual sexual abuse) would be a woman touching a man, not man to man, and of course men would probably love a woman to touch him. he'd take it as an invitation. and maybe that's what Letterman intended (and no I didn't watch the video so I'm probably full of shit here). I think some men, maybe even most, are totally clueless about body language or any kind of subtle communication which women are adept at and obviously Letterman did not get the message since he kept doing it.
ReplyDeleteso glad you got such a cool place to stay. can't think of anything better than having a creek right out back.
It was pretty hard to miss how uncomfortable Tina was. Letterman would have had to be deaf, dumb, and blind to miss that.
DeleteI think you're right about women depending on men as a reason we used to have to put up with more than we do now but the truth is, lots of men who had nothing to do with a woman's wellbeing got away (and still do) with such unwanted touch.
I am looking forward to that creek with all my heart.
I wish Mr. Moon's phone would wash up on the shore of the island there but of course it wouldn't be working anymore. ;(
ReplyDeleteHope he's home soon. Good find for the NC trip! Sounds lovely!
He's home! And having a hell of a time getting another phone.
DeleteThere's a short clip making the rounds on the interwebs of Lucille Ball on America Live sometime in the 70s, I can only find a tiktok version, but have a look, she says it all in five words, Take Your Hands Off Her:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.tiktok.com/@cazeke/video/7230720977712254250
Abraham Lincoln's son died from an infected blister on his foot from playing tennis.
ReplyDelete