My rambley, wandering old house runs east to west, with the front porch facing north, the back porch facing south. This means that in the late afternoon we get glorious light in the library which is the room located on the southwest corner of the house. I do not spend as much time in the library as I could. I think it's one of those things that I love so much that I deny myself the pleasure of for some perverted reason. Things always seem to lead back to the question my therapist asked me once which was, "Why do you have such a need to suffer?"
Hoo-boy.
Still haven't figured that one out.
But even walking by the library makes me happy, especially this time of day. There are some toys in it and as you can see, the bouncy horse that I can remember buying in Thomasville, Georgia when Owen was just starting to walk with confidence. He and Lily and Mr. Moon and I went up there and bought it at an antique shop (it's not THAT old, but that's where we found it) and I can remember so clearly walking down the sidewalk in that pretty little south Georgia town, Mr. Moon and I both holding one of Owen's hands as he toddled between us. Our big boy!
And all of the children have loved that horse. Of course now they've almost all outgrown it and eventually, it will pass on to another family with children or grandchildren who will ride their own miles across the prairies on it.
I have some treasures in the library. Books, of course, being the main ones. But there are puzzles and games and stuffed animals, and right now a tricycle. A Little Mermaid tea set that May gave me has a home on one of the shelves.
And other things.
That is the room that I still can't believe I have in a house that I actually live in. It is absolutely another bit of Lloyd magic to me. Another dream I never dared to dream.
I spent a good part of the day outside weeding in the garden. It got fairly hot but pulling the tiny weeds that are coming up now is hardly strenuous. Yesterday I watered the garden almost all day long, giving it a good soaking. Everything is looking pretty good and I picked myself another salad for tonight. Last night's supper of soup and garden salad and a slice of sourdough was absolutely perfect. It was the first salad of the season made entirely of our greens. I dress these salads with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, garlic, salt and pepper. And it is the most delicious thing in the world.
I am going to concentrate on doing yard work later on in the week. It is supposed to get really cool with highs in the high sixties and low seventies on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. For us thin-blooded Floridians, this is crazy cold for October. I guarantee you that there will be people wearing boots and jackets in Costco those days.
No. I am not kidding you.
No. I am not kidding you.
The low temperatures are forecast to be in the high thirties so when the days begin, those jackets will feel good.
But I do not want to use all of my alone time to work outside, to do things that although I enjoy, are laborious, and so this afternoon, I sat down at the piano and pulled out my old John Thompson's Course For Piano, Second Grade Book, opened it up to page one and began again. I think the last time I did this was when Mr. Moon was off hunting last year. While Mark was here, he used the piano some, and I was so glad he did. It needs tuning horribly and some of the black keys are missing but there is just something about a piano...
I know I've told the story of my piano lessons before but as a recap (haha!) I'll tell you that I got lessons from about second grade to fourth or fifth grade. It was apparent from the very beginning that I had absolutely NO natural talent for the instrument (or any other, it turns out) and it was not unusual for my teacher to scream at me.
"Sharp! F Sharp, Mary!"
To say the least, I tried her patience.
My mother loved to play the piano and she was decent at it. It brought her pleasure. So she hoped that I, too, would develop at least some ability and enjoyment from these lessons.
Well.
I've never in my life improvised anything on the piano and I never will. As much as I love music, as much as it has been a huge part of my life since childhood, as much as I love, worship, and admire musicians, I have not got an ounce of ability in me. I accept that. But when I sit down in front of the beast in my hallway and limp and fuddle through the simplest chords of the songs in that book, I still do very much get enjoyment out of it. As untuned as the piano is, as incompetent as I am at playing it, there is something mystifyingly satisfying when I get a tiny bit right, when I hit a chord properly, and it rings through my hallway and into my heart.
So that is one thing I want to do while the man is gone- sit down at the piano for a half hour or so a day. Why not? He is off doing what makes his heart happy and there is no reason for me not to do the same. I would also like to sew and knit, even in the daytime! Or read in my library or perhaps even write something that is not this blog.
We shall see.
But by gosh and by golly, I am going to give myself permission and encouragement to do something creative and/or soul-satisfying every day.
To say the least, I tried her patience.
My mother loved to play the piano and she was decent at it. It brought her pleasure. So she hoped that I, too, would develop at least some ability and enjoyment from these lessons.
Well.
I've never in my life improvised anything on the piano and I never will. As much as I love music, as much as it has been a huge part of my life since childhood, as much as I love, worship, and admire musicians, I have not got an ounce of ability in me. I accept that. But when I sit down in front of the beast in my hallway and limp and fuddle through the simplest chords of the songs in that book, I still do very much get enjoyment out of it. As untuned as the piano is, as incompetent as I am at playing it, there is something mystifyingly satisfying when I get a tiny bit right, when I hit a chord properly, and it rings through my hallway and into my heart.
So that is one thing I want to do while the man is gone- sit down at the piano for a half hour or so a day. Why not? He is off doing what makes his heart happy and there is no reason for me not to do the same. I would also like to sew and knit, even in the daytime! Or read in my library or perhaps even write something that is not this blog.
We shall see.
But by gosh and by golly, I am going to give myself permission and encouragement to do something creative and/or soul-satisfying every day.
I will report.
Meanwhile, in cat news, here's a picture of Black Cat through the screen. Can you see it?
I really have no idea if it's a male or a female. But it is quite certain that the cat is very black and has beautiful golden eyes.
In other cat news, Jack did something last night he's never done before. He was sleeping with me and all of a sudden, I felt a touch on my shoulder. It felt like such a purposeful touch, nothing like the pat-pat-pats he gives me when he wants more scratching. In fact, for a millisecond, I wondered if something had happened to Mr. Moon and that he was trying to reach me from the other side.
(Disaster-thinking, much?)
But no, it was just Jack. He did it another time too but I knew then what it was. Thinking about it now, I believe he may have been trying to get me to stop snoring. Sorry, because that's such a prosaic explanation but it may well be the correct one. I have been known to snore. Jessie once described the sound as not unlike a "dying moose."
(Disaster-thinking, much?)
But no, it was just Jack. He did it another time too but I knew then what it was. Thinking about it now, I believe he may have been trying to get me to stop snoring. Sorry, because that's such a prosaic explanation but it may well be the correct one. I have been known to snore. Jessie once described the sound as not unlike a "dying moose."
Have I shattered your image of me?
I am so sorry.
Here's a picture Mr. Moon sent me this morning.
Oh, how we love the Waffle House! He is fine and somewhere north of Arkansas.
And for Susan M:
Another beautiful post full of hope and longing and contentment. Go and sit in that beautiful library and read and knit and sew. Pound that piano - there is no such thing as ugly music when it comes from the heart.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. There may be discordant music but not ugly that comes from the heart. Thank you for understanding me.
DeleteIs the library the same room as the *Glen den*? If not.....your house is WAY larger than I imagined.....and lucky you! It's a gorgeous room and I love the rocking horse. I am urging you to get a piano tuner to come in and tune your piano! Please! Thank for the lovely confederate rose bouquet! Love it! I packed up an envelope for you today with my heirloom *coral reef* carnation cuttings LOL........we'll see if they survive shipping, plus grace you ultimately with most heavenly scent EVER. Enjoy your creative *me* time!
ReplyDeleteSusan M
No. The library is across the hallway from the Glen Den. I need to do a video or photo shot of the house and its rooms.
DeleteYou are sending me cuttings? Do you need an address? I can't wait! I will cherish them.
Thank you, Susan.
NO, I have your PO Box. Sending tomorrow- hope should arrive (alive?) by Thurs. LOL
DeleteSusan M
O Waffle House with your cheesy grits and Eggs N’ Cheese. I honestly would die happy to walk into any restaurant on this side of the Mississippi and see grits on the menu. XO your northern girl, Rebecca
ReplyDeleteAnd raisin toast with apple butter, and hash browns cooked with onions and peppers and CHEESE if you want it. I love you so much, my northern girl.
DeleteYour library is gorgeous- looks like a room from a high rent movie I must have seen sometime. I can relate to the piano, I have a first grade book that I drag out when no one is at home - Swans On the Lake" and "birthday Party" - on our un-tuned piano sounds like heaven to me!
ReplyDeleteYou mystery black cat looks just like one I adopted - found him on the road - tempted him into my car with the salmon that I had from work that evening, He was the best cat I ever had.
We could have a snoring contest, you and I- we could make a wager...(not fair, because I know that I would win) I am a hustler!
Yes! I think the very first song I learned to play was called Birthday Party. Here we go, up a row, to a birthday par-ty.
DeleteI have had black cats before and always loved them.
I can just see a snoring contest now- you and I side-by-side on a bed with judges at the foot. Ooh boy.
I hereby extend instructions to you to play piano daily, read in your own library then knit in the morning. Is this like my inability to read novels in the morning? That seems like a work time, and novels are afternoon playtime! No idea why.
ReplyDeleteYes- I think this is probably just like your inability to read novels in the morning! I get around that one by LISTENING to novels in the morning as I go about my very important chores.
DeleteI followed your instructions today although what I read in the library was a book to Levon. Which was lovely.
I think you inability to master the piano had more to do with your instruction, rather than with you. I'm glad you're enjoying it and yes, you should do more things you enjoy, so should I:)
ReplyDeleteIf I had a library in my home, I don't know that I would leave it.
I think I need a more comfortable sitting arrangement in there. That little couch is okay but not great.
DeleteI honestly do not believe that any music teacher could have done a whole lot better with me. I just do not have the aptitude.
I just brought home my childhood rocking horse. It's in horrible condition. It needs to be taken apart and reassembled. I didn't even want it. But despite how much I didn't want it, I couldn't leave it just sit in my sister's lawn. So. He's sitting right here in the office with me.
ReplyDeleteWell, isn't that the way it goes? We imbue so much emotion into our old possessions. Maybe this sweet old horse of yours could be a good lesson in letting go. Or maybe not.
Deleteo but I must comment on the fantastic tree you have in front of your house Mary~it's phantom-like and certainly has more than one soul~!
ReplyDeleteI have quite a few trees that are as sentient as any human on earth. I believe that.
DeleteIt's been far too long since I've touched the piano. I only like to play when there's no one else in the house, I don't pretend t have a lick of talent either but it does truly soothe the soul. It's therapeutic and I love what you said about giving ourselves permission. That black cat looks so much like our long ago cat, Riff Raff. We miss him. What a lovely thing to have, a libraty!
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
I think it is soul soothing to play an instrument when you are older and don't give a damn about pleasing anyone but yourself. But I definitely understand wanting to do it when nobody is around.
DeleteI bet Riff Raff was a very fine cat.
37paddington:
ReplyDeleteYour library is wonderful, such beautiful light, and I love that the bookshelves are red. I also love the idea of you sitting at your piano and playing your heart out with only fairies to hear. Me. I’m one of those fairies. I imagine listening to every right and not right note and basking in your joy.
Oh my god- I would hurt your ears, Rosemarie! Perhaps this is why I have no ghosts that I know of in this house- they are afraid I might start trying to play the piano! The library's shelves were red when we moved in. They please me.
DeleteThe are three or four listed piano tuners in Tallahassee. Why not contact this guy:- https://blochpiano.com/ and see if he'll come out to Lloyd. This was such a lovely post to read.
ReplyDeleteNot only do I know (vaguely) Mr. Bloch, there is also a guy who tunes pianos who lives across the street from me, one house down! I suppose I just don't consider myself worthy of a tuned piano. Or something. Thank you for the research and the kind words.
DeleteIf I had that beautiful library room I would live in it and do everything in it. Except eating. And at Christmas time it would be decorated and tinselled with all the pretty shiny things from one end to the other.
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful that you are tinkering on the piano every day and going into the library too.
My cat Lola has started head butting me when she wants something and I'm half asleep.
When I used to decorate for Christmas, I did indeed decorate that room. The tiny old nativity I have went in there. And lights. And the tree, as a matter of fact.
DeleteLola! Stop that! But head butting is better than biting.
I love that you play the piano, Mary, when Mr. Moon goes away. Your description is lovely, and I wish I could play the piano, too. I love your library and know just what you mean when you say that you can hardly believe it's all yours.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that what I do on the piano could be called "playing." Perhaps I play with the piano. That sounds more correct.
DeleteYeah- how did I end up with a libary?
Ha ha, I was just getting to the point where I expected some deep meaning attributed to Jack's touch when you had to go and spoil it with the "stop bloody snoring will you"!!! As someone whose snores could stop a freight train at 10 yards, I sympathise with Jack!
ReplyDeleteHeh-heh. Sometimes Glen touches me like Jack did to get me to stop snoring. I always feel so bad. And now, if my CAT is doing it, well...damn.
DeleteThe " dying moose" made me laugh out loud!
ReplyDeleteI also learnt to play the piano at school when I was about 12/13, but as I was taught by a blind man, he couldn't correct my fingering, so my fingers were never where they should have been! About 11/12 Years ago I asked for a keyboard for Xmas, and did learn a few easy pieces, but then my first dog died and I didn't have the heart for anything for a long time. Your post has made me think that after 9 years it is time I had another go. Luckily I have headphones for the keyboard so I can practise " in secret" so to speak.
Oh my god- a blind piano teacher. Well, why not? Look at Ray Charles! But no, fingering would be difficult to teach if you can't see what's going on there. My fingering is horrible, BTW.
DeleteNow you go and get that keyboard out of whatever closet you have it in and enjoy yourself!
I was taught piano by nuns so there was always a lot of discipline involved - holding the hands correctly, touching each key properly. I still have a handful of songs that I can play but I don't play very often. My sister is a pianist who has always shined at the piano and still plays for her church. Playing in front of others was torture for me so I always avoided it!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are having some fun time while Mr. Moon is gone.
Love the look of your library - I would be reading in there a lot!
I think I was only in a few recitals. I sucked too much to play in public. Oh, I must have been a pain in my teacher's ears.
DeleteYum! Waffle House! As we've discussed I took piano lessons from those same books. I can still hum some of the tunes. And I had a horse like that too! I also love your bright and colorful library.
ReplyDeleteThose books are so dated. One of the songs in it is Carry Me Back to Old Virginny and the illustrations that go with it are minstrel show guys. I mean- whoa!
DeleteI would love your library, please enjoy it for me.
ReplyDeleteOkay, e. I will!
Delete