I went on a pathetically short walk this morning and I have to say that I am as out of shape as I've ever been in my life and there is no one to blame but me, of course. It's been mostly a matter of not exercising because it's too hot or too painful or I'm too lazy or whatever which leads to it becoming harder and more painful and it's a vicious cycle and I'm not exactly angry with myself but not happy with myself, either.
The pain part is something I'm going to have to address. My right hip is NOT RIGHT and has been hurting for awhile and I especially noticed it on our trip. For one thing, there's a step between the kitchen and the living area in the little pool house which is just the right height to make me wince every time I used it. And I was more aware of my limping when I wasn't at home where I'm not worried about anyone seeing me and thinking, "Look at that old woman."
I know I need to make an appointment with a massage therapist our family goes to who works on specific problems. She is good with hips. Also, let's face it- I need to lose weight and be kinder to these old hips, these old knees. After a lifetime of battling extra weight and probably fucking up my kids in the process, in the last few years I have gradually just started eating in a way that I know is not helping. It's not that the food I eat is in any way bad for me but I could make better choices and I could eat less and, blah, blah, blah.
And of course, exercise is part of it all and now that cooler temperatures are settling in, perhaps I will be more consistent.
We can only hope.
I know myself and trying to radically change my diet to eliminate different foods, whether fats and grains or dairy and meat will not work. Sugar is not my problem. I rarely bake sweet things unless it's for others. I do love bread and cheese. The savory things are my favorite.
Anyway, today I took that little walk and took some pictures of the tiny little shop that will perhaps open one of these days. They have painted it.
It is now quite blue, isn't it? Almost a Caribbean blue.