Thursday, October 13, 2022

My Brain Feels Rather Like A Buzzsaw

It did indeed rain last night, probably a little less than an inch but enough to smell heavenly, to sound like life as it should be. Things are standing straighter and fuller today. 
We are all grateful. 

I just looked at my weather widget and I don't see any more rain coming for over a week but according to the forecast, next Thursday may see lows in the high thirties which is quite unusual for October. Not unheard of. But unusual. Of course a forecast that far out is apt to be wrong so we shall see. 

Y'all are just going to have to be patient with me for a little while. Anxiety is kicking my butt again but it's completely explainable for now and that does help. I'm sure part of it is because Mr. Moon is about to leave and the rest of life can be blamed for the rest. To make his leave-taking even harder, it would appear that he got bit by some sort of venomous critter, possibly in the deer stand over at Lily's house the other evening. That evening he showed me three distinct little bumps that we both thought were possibly ant bites but yesterday the area around them began to swell and turn red. He has a genetic disposition towards terrible circulation in his legs (long way from heart to feet in that man) and we are as wary of anything that breaks the skin or causes an infection in his feet and ankles as a diabetic would be. So we immediately began soaking his foot and ankle in warm water and epson salts. It takes the canning kettle to get his entire foot in. He went to the doctor this morning and he said it looks to him like brown recluse spider bites which it well could have been. He told him to continue the soaking and put him on an antibiotic. 
So at least I know that has been dealt with the best we could. 
He also got his new covid booster yesterday before his trip and has felt rather tired and achy today. 
But all of this has only added to my worry which I know is completely ridiculous. When I made the bed this morning, I made sure that Dorothy Anne and Emily were happily sitting up and watching the world and Jack came and laid down in front of them. I know that he is NOT trying to protect them. He sleeps on the bed no matter what, most  nights and parts of every day. But somehow, seeing him there was a comfort, as if he was symbolic of a familiar who watches over babies and again, that soothed me. 


It also comforts me to give a little love to these old, cracked babies who have survived more years than I have. 

Today was pick-up-Levon-and-August day and after I got Levon from his preschool, we met Lily for a catch-up lunch. She showed me all the pictures from Las Vegas and it does look like they had a terrific time. She and Lauren got a little bit of adult time when they attended a drag-queen brunch event which sounded like a whole lot of fun. They also did the Hoover Dam thing and took the kids to an amazing toy store. I think, however, they are glad to be home. 
Levon was an excellent luncheon companion and watched sports on a silent TV screen above us as we ate. He kept telling us he was so tired. At one point he said that he was "so tired I can only eat ten more bites," which made us laugh. 


I thought he'd fall asleep in the car on the way home but he did not. We read part of a Captain Underpants book which is not my favorite but far more preferable than a Transformers book, for example. I refuse to read those out loud. We also played some Uno and then we went and got August who greeted me with a hug which makes me so happy. 

While we waited for Daddy to get off work, we watched a few ocean creatures videos like a Giant Pacific octopus killing and eating a shark and a countdown of the ten most dangerous animals in the ocean. 
Note: The most dangerous animals in the ocean are the venomous ones. Far more people die from run-ins with them than with sharks or salt water crocodiles. 
You learn something new every day. 

It was good to be with the boys. Of course when I am with them, my focus snaps sharply back into and onto reality. This, I am sure, is an evolved behavior which I am grateful for. 

And now I'm home, about to fix us something for supper. I am sorry to have missed the Jan. 6 hearing today and I see that they voted to subpoena DJT to testify. Of course he won't. I will read about the session online tonight. I saw in our local paper the other day that the latest Q-Anon conspiracy theory has something to do with Hurricane Ian. That we liberals lured many conservative Republicans to Florida with our fast and loose covid restrictions and requirements and then, and THEN, somehow managed to engineer a giant hurricane which wiped out those very same conservatives. 
These are the people who will vote for the poop of pond scum we call Trump should he choose to run again. 

I am so over all of this shit. And it adds a constant thrum of fear that flows in my veins along with everything else, creating this discordant buzz of anxiety. 

Hopefully though, once I know that Mr. Moon is safely on the road (is that an oxymoron?) and happy to be so, and I am here with cats and dolls, eating salmon and LeSueur baby peas, weeding my garden in the cooler temperatures, walking daily (haha!) and filling my days with whatever it is that I feel the least bit inclined to do, I will settle back down. 
If history tells us anything, there may be Rolling Stones videos here, or maybe not, but we shall see, won't we? 

Love...Ms. Moon



29 comments:

  1. I hope you continue peaceful, and I see you seized the chance to have salmon and peas. Is that something Mr M doesn't like so much?

    I love your doll family!

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    1. I believe that Mr. Moon has a prejudice against fish that he cannot catch. Tuna and salmon are rare around here. I have no such bias and love them both. As to peas- no way. He does not like them. I put them in stews and soups and he'll eat them that way.

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  2. The babies and Jack look so sweet together. That image sure soothes me too.

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  3. Please keep track of Mr. Moon. When you said Brown Recluse Spiders, you scared the living bejammers from me. We have them up north and they are serious. If he sounds peaked, get him home and back to the doctor. I know you're a bit off your form this week, but I know you want the best for Mr. M day in and day out and Brown Recluse Spider is a seriously long recovery, and you know how he is.
    In the meantime, revel in your salmon and baby peas.

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    1. I personally do not think it was a brown recluse because those bites will melt the flesh off of you. I think it's just his reaction to anything on his lower legs and feet. It may have been some other spider or insect. But I know you are right about the brown recluse- they will mess you up. But his leg is already looking better.

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  4. the babies on the bed with cat- so sweet! Baby peas , too! There was a commercial on television back int the olden days of baby peas marching out of the tin singing, they had bonnets and diapers on. I could never in a million years eat them! Brown recluse can be deadly- nearly killed my mom! Not the bite so much as the infection- a tough one to get rid of and to heal from. Just telling you this to put your anxiety at ease. haha, really , though,He will be fine! He is strong and fierce and sensible.
    Clever democrats and liberals to be able to engineer all of that!!

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    1. I have forgotten that commercial! Why would that make people want to eat peas? Weird.
      Yes. The brown recluse is not to be messed with. I really do not think the bites came from one of them.
      Isn't it amazing how fucking brilliant liberal scientists are?

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  5. I got bitten in the shin by a brown recluse about 40 years ago.....it's still memorable. Sounds like a good course of medical intervention for Mr Moon but I know you will still worry. Hope it improves soon. and I know how you look forward to your baby Leseur? peas when Mr Moon is gone.......my fave also is pea salad with baby Lesuer peas, minced onions, a pinch of thyme, small cubed sharp cheddar and a spoonful of mayo along with a dash of vinegar. I will eat it for days on end....
    Jack is so comfy on your bed with the dolls.....love it!
    Susan M

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    1. Okay. I am going to make that salad. Yes, m'am. Thank you.
      Jack truly believes that is his bed. Sometimes I can barely get him off to make it and sometimes I just make it around him.

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  6. Mick and friends will definitely put a song in your heart and keep it moving, too. I prefer the Beach Boys, myself, but music eases angst.

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    1. While we were eating today, a Beach Boys song came on the speaker system ("Wouldn't It Be Nice?") and I asked Leven, "Do you know who this is? "
      "No," he said.
      "The Beach Boys", I told him. "Remember this. It's important."
      "Okay," he said.

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  7. Things will get better. They'll get worse again and then get better again. And so it goes. I'm more concerned about nuclear bombs than the POS that is trump but I tell myself that things will get better.

    Sending hugs and love.

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    1. I can't even talk about the nuclear threat. I just cannot.

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  8. There should definitely be Rolling Stones videos! I read a couple of Captain Underpants books when I bought them for my great nephew and I just don't see the attraction, unless it's that boys (will be boys) get to say Underpants a lot.

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    1. My attitude about Captain Underpants is that anything that gets kids to read is a good thing so, if it's reading stupid books about Captain Underpants, so be it!

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  9. "I'm so tired I can only eat 10 more bites" - ha ha that made me laugh. Your grandkids sure have a way with words. They're all wordsmiths just like you. And here's hoping Mr. Moon feels better now so that he can enjoy his trip. I'm just curious though. If DJT is subpoenad (sp?) and refuses to testify, what happens?

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    1. I think that since this is just an investigative committee, DJT is not absolutely required to respond. Other's have refused seemingly without negative consequences. Now, if the Justice Department itself subpoenas him, that may be a different matter. I am not sure.

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  10. I thought baby Lesuer peas were some exotic variety of pea - turns out it's a brand.
    Your anxiety is understandable. Be gentle with yourself and enjoy those peas and salmon. And those cute cracked babies. And the cats. And the grandkids.

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    1. Yes. A brand of peas. They come in silver-labeled cans so you know they are special! But the "baby" is a descriptive word. They are quite small and tender, I have to say.
      I was very gentle with myself today and it has been a good one. Thank you.

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  11. Ugh! That spider bite sounds nasty. Good for Mr Moon for keeping an eye on it. Glad Lily and Co had fun in Vegas and I laughed at Levon's "10 more bites" comment. He does look tired in that picture, poor guy!

    Trump has apparently said he will testify as long as he can do it live. That would be entertaining. I assume he'd simply try to steamroll the panel with his faux facts and bluster.

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    1. Oh god. I would give ANYTHING to watch Trump testify! That would be the most hysterical thing ever. He won't do it.

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  12. Those Q-anon people are just bat shit crazy. Democrats luring Republicans to a Republican state. I thought god was responsible for devastating hurricanes punishing all the sinner and evil doers, at least that's what they said when New Orleans got blasted.

    I think Trump is going to ignore the subpoena. He may say he'll testify but when it comes down to it I don't think he will. If he does he'll take the 5th just like all his cronies. Though he may be delusional enough to think he can get away with lying under oath.

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    1. Well, if it's not god's fault, it's the liberals, you know. With our wacky, crazy, scientific, hurricane-creating machinery.
      Trump probably is that delusional but unfortunately, whatever attorney's he may have at that point would probably prevent him at gunpoint from getting on a stand.

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  13. Hope Mr. Moon's leg heals quickly. Hope you feel better soon too.

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    1. We are both better today! Thank you, Ellen.

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  14. Yikes on the brown recluse bites! So glad he’s in antibiotics, it’s not a thing to mess around with. Swift healing with no complications, please. I feel that underlying thrum of anxiety from politics too, it’s something that’s never affected me emotionally until 2016. Some days it’s overwhelming when combined with the “normal” stresses of life. Jack looks like a good protector.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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    1. I think I really started being affected by politics as far back as Nixon. It's always there at the periphery of my consciousness when one of the lunies is in office.
      Jack is a good protector in the sense of keeping Maurice off the bed.

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  15. This last Jan 6 hearing was compelling in every way. Even if DJT never goes to jail (as he should), the record of history has been fully set down, and there is not a doubt in the world that this evil lies at his feet, and those of his cronies. And dear God I loved hearing Nancy Pelosi saying she wanted to punch him out!

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.