Monday, December 11, 2017

Putting The Fun Back Into Infundibulum

The sun has set and all of the color has followed it, lighting up skies far from here. Although life is definitely not fair, all humans get an equal opportunity to view the sun and the moon and that is pretty cool.

I just went out to check on the chickens whom I'd already shut into their hen house because I heard a racket I could not identify and actually, any noise coming from a hen house at night is not good. I grabbed a stout stick on my way out (Mr. Moon is out of town) hoping with all of my heart that I wouldn't have to use it on a possum or a raccoon but when I opened the door, I found Joe Cocker trying to climb the tin which covers the nesting boxes. It's a steep slope and he kept slipping back and flapping his wings and that was the sound I heard and I have absolutely no idea in this entire world why he would try to do that. Earlier he was on his narrow ledge perch with Darla and Little Violet who had abandoned her usual roost up at the top of that tin to sleep with him. I would assume for the warmth.

That's her butt on the right. 

So why was Joe trying to get to the top of overhang?
God only knows. Not me. I can't even venture a guess.
I do know why Nicey spent the day on my back porch, most of it on the table.

She was hiding from the roosters and my resolve to get rid of at least Pearl has hardened. This morning I myself knocked Mick off Miss Honey who is missing half her head-comb and many feathers due to the constant sex she is subjected to. When a rooster mounts a hen, he beaks her hard up on the head and perches on her back with his talons. The entire act barely takes seconds but that is plenty long enough to inflict pain and pull feathers. Roosters don't even have penises so I am not sure how the sperm meets the egg but somehow, it does. 
I just looked it up. If you care to learn about chicken reproduction, you may read about it HERE where you will find extremely scientific words like infundibulum and magnum. 
All of this would make absolutely fascinating small talk at any holiday party and is sure to impress people with your Scientific and Big Word knowledge when it comes to how chickens mate and reproduce. 
You are welcome. 

Anyway, as I said, Nicey spent all day on the back porch. She even let me pet her. A little. I fed her cat food and a bit of cut-up venison and vegetable stew. At one point I'd left the back door open for a second and she walked right into the house which would be fine with me- she could live inside for all I care, but I am loathe to clean up chicken shit and no, I will not be diapering a hen. Call me cruel but that's just ridiculous. 
I wonder how she knew that I would protect her because I feel certain that she did. 
Again- who knows? Not me.

Okay. Cute picture time. 

This is Maggie wearing a coat and hat that my mother knit for Jessie. My mother was a true craftswoman when it came to knitting and to crocheting. She used those teeny, tiny needles and followed directions that would make my head explode. How cute do they look on Ms. Magnolia? I think the child could get a well-paying job as a model. She's just so...cute. And expressive. And photogenic! And she has curly hair! And she's my granddaughter! 
Her parents should totally exploit her for money. She would love it. And dang it- kids are so lazy these days. Hell, when I was two years old, I was working in a coal mine. When I got a job at McDonald's at the age of four, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. 
So. Modeling. Piece of cake! Jeez. 

And here's a picture of our babiest baby. 

Isn't he precious? Yes. Yes he is. That's the flannel quilt I whipped up for him out of scraps and it makes me want to make flannel quilts for everyone in the family. If I worked night and day I could probably get them all done by Christmas. 
Christmas 2027, that is. 
Speaking of Christmas- Have I bought ONE Christmas present? 
No. No I have not. 
And I have five grandchildren, not to mention four children, all of whom have very significant others whom I adore. 
I suck. 

Well, that's the news from Lloyd today. Oh! I did wear my grubby overalls to Publix today and the world did not end. It would appear that no one gives a damn what I wear to the grocery store. How odd is that? I just could not deal with putting on regular going-to-town clothes and yet, I needed yogurt and jasmine rice and Mega Rolls of toilet paper because Mega Rolls mean you have to replace your toilet paper about half as often, as well as other things I cannot live without because I am a spoiled and entitled First World Person.

Fuck you, Christmas. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I second your closing remark. (Also no Xmas presents.)
    Also your First World remark---Wallowing in the luxury of self-absorption after having a tooth pulled and prepped for an implant this week (my first lost tooth, at almost 76, and that is something I never expected; expected to be toothless by now like all my forebears, and instead 8-10 months of eating on one side of my mouth and I should have a tooth (almost)as good as new. For a hefty price.)

  2. You have the cutest little grandkids, I agree. Your chicken story reminded me of a documentary I watched last week titled Chicken People, about people who raise and show chickens.

  3. Fuck you Christmas! Hahaha! I haven't bought any presents either. I'm not too worried about it, either.

  4. I think Joe Cocker was climbing the tin for... (wait for it)... fun!

    Maggie is cute enough to eat. What a great outfit for pictures with Santa.

    Levon looks so little in that seat.

  5. I haven't bought any presents either. and won't. and haven't for years. my kids are well grown and we just sort of all mutually agreed that there was no need to buy each other presents for christmas (though occasionally if I know one of them really wants something or asks for something, I'll get it for them) and the grandkids are grown or nearly and I just give them money which is the thing they most want and need. the husband and I don't even exchange gifts (long story there) so I usually buy myself a piece of art or something if there is something I want. the only person I have continued to exchange gifts with is my sister and this year because she no longer has her job at the antique store, along with me, we decided to skip this year at least. so there christmas.

  6. Chicken sex. I never knew.

    And little Magnolia June is a supermodel for sure.

  7. That's pretty much my approach to Christmas, too.

    I gotta say that it's enough for me to know that chickens can successfully mate. I'm not sure I need to know precisely how it works. That's not very intellectually curious of me, I know.

    I wonder if you could give away Pearl? Does anyone want a rooster?

    I love Maggie's outfit, and she looks so proud of it!

  8. I very adamantly declared that adults would no longer exchange gifts years ago and it has been amazing ever since. Aren't those mega rolls wonderful?! I have once found SUPER mega rolls which were even bigger. Keep on the lookout for those!

  9. OMG-you had another grandchild and I missed it. I went back through a thousand blogs but gave up...

    Anyway, I saw Dina Martina (please google her) last night and she put me right in the spirit of yule or whatever. As only she can do. And she stepped right up to a very drunk or something person who yelled 'fuck you' during her performance. She said, "no, you cannot say that to me and you must leave." It was beautiful and I just love her more now.

    continuing chicken saga....somebody has to go. Too much harassment all round.

    Love and kisses,


  10. PS-the painting at the top of your blog is FANTASTIC and true.


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