Monday, December 20, 2010

Porch Plant Pooch Screwing

Well, it looks like Mama done screwed the pooch. I didn't cover up the porch plants last night and this morning the chicken water is frozen solid. I heard the number "38" somewhere and thought it was going to be the low temperature for the night and for all I know, "38" is the chest size of Lady Gaga.

I should pay more attention.

I don't even want to go look at those plants. If they're dead, they're dead and there's nothing I can do about it now.

The Bradford pears in the backyard have suddenly turned golden. I have been waiting for the sun to properly come out and torch them up to take a picture and this morning, despite the cold, it did.

We do get seasonal color here, just not so much as say, Maine. Or Vermont. Or wherever it is that fall is a glory. Some of our leaves just turn brown and fall off and some turn orange and red and yellow and fall off and some persist in staying green and not falling off until the new leaves of spring push them out of the way the way Owen pushes me out of a chair so that he may climb on it and claim his dominance over the human race.

Well, it is five days before Christmas and the panic has set in and blocked my throat. I sip coffee trying to open it and let me tell you- probably not a good idea.
To town today to try and gather up this and that to round out the meager offering I have of gifts.
I think it is not just the plants I left uncovered in which I have screwed the pooch.

No. The pooch is well and royally screwed as applies to Christmas and so be it. The leaves will continue to change color, the Spanish moss will continue to hang like Christmas ornaments from the oaks,

the sun will continue to come up and light it all, exposing my pooch-screwing to the world, and if my twenty-something year-old philodendron is dead than I am a murderer due to lack of paying attention.

I have been guilty of worse.

Believe me.

Let us go forth and salvage what we can, remembering that we are not, as Anne Lamott said, The Piece of Shit Around Which The World Revolves. No. We (and here I mean "I", of course) are just a tiny piece of shit, like all humans are, as well as unstoppable sparks of life, capable of light and dark, capable of great good things and tiny murders, and we make our choices and we deal with the consequences and bless out hearts, the world continues to go on.


  1. I let my piece of the Christmas cactus my Grandma gave me freeze last year through neglect. She gave it to me just before she died when I was 18 yrs old. That was 18 years ago. I cried for days. I replaced it this year but it's not the same. I'd had close calls before and I hope you're able to salvage your plants.

  2. That Spanish moss makes me want to move deeper South! We don't have that stuff up here in Tennessee. Maybe I'll drape some green yarn over the oaks out front.

  3. Oh my. Let's hope something is salvageable! I am watching my gorgeous ferns die a slow and painful death in side this winter, and lost my 20 year old jade plant to some mysterious ailment that caused the leaves to drop in about a week. It was awful. We do our best, that's all we can do, and it's not your fault its freaking freezing in Florida. I expect that crap here, but there?? And oh, your Bradford Pear, all golden and lovely - all faded memories here, in the land of whites and browns. Stay warm Ms. Moon. Hugs.

  4. I had my granddaughter this weekend and didn't get to do much visiting so I'm catching up on your blog. I just want to say those pics you posted on Friday of Owen and his Bop are so precious! What a pair they are. They remind me of my son and his grandfather. Oh and I hope your plants didn't freeze. I didn't realize that it got that cold last night!

  5. I'll think good thoughts for your plants.

    The pear tree photo is so so gorgeous. I miss fall. We had such a glorious one this year.

    I'll be in a strange limbo until spring. Winter can be beautiful, but it is mostly treacherous , ruins plans, and creates triple the piles of stuff in the foyer.

  6. Is it bad that I find your trying to fend off panic with coffee amusing? If so, I will say in my defence that I did the same with Coca Cola for YEARS. Years I tell you. And of course it only made it worse until I was on medication for permanent bowel inflammation.

    I hope the panic goes away, obviously. But then I'm all chilled not my Christmas is over.

  7. I hope that the plants are salvageable. But if they aren't, then a new generation of baby plants will come along. I gave my ancient rubber tree to a lady at work because it was about 12 feet tall. She birthed some babies off of it before it died. I am glad. It was only 32 here last night. Warm up is on the way for a few days at least.

  8. I'm so sorry for your possible loss. I'm the sole heir to a jade plant that came from my ex's grandmother and some other plants that came from an arrangement some co-workers gave me when my father died almost 15 years ago. The responsibility is huge! Yet, I can discard a poinsettia as soon as it loses its color and feel no remorse - what's that about? I wish I knew what to tell you about your mouse situation. I'm living with an invasion of them myself. As of Friday (my most recent visit by the exterminator) they are thriving in the basement and the attic on the blue poison, but there were no droppings on the main floor of the house. I consider that a victory! He switched them to red poison, I'll let you know if that kills them or just increases their numbers.
    Don't berate yourself about the plants, it's not supposed to get down to 38 in Florida.

  9. Ms. Trouble- Oh! I can understand completely why that would break your heart!

    Ms. Controlling- I do love our moss. It is unique and beautiful.

    Elizabeth- And I love you.

    Bethany- And your post today- I am STILL thinking about it. Bless you, baby.

    Mel- I finally girded my loins and went out and looked. I think all is well. I gave everything a good watering and I believe they will live.

    Lois- Neither did I! Obviously!

    deb- Yes! Too much STUFF! Even here- sweaters everywhere and I have to wear SOCKS! Oh, the agony.

    Mwa- I meant it to be amusing! So thank-you! The panic is at a reasonable level. Thank-you, dear.

    Syd- They are okay, I think. There will be some trimming back, but all seems well. Thanks.


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