Wednesday, December 15, 2010
One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other
It has been the oddest day.
After I wrote that post this morning and did what I needed to do, I got ready to go to town to get some shopping done. I had a list. I had a plan. This place first, then that, etc.
I got dressed, I picked up my watch off the big jewelry box thing I have in my bedroom and on top of it I saw a pair of earrings that I've been looking for since last August. I bought them at my favorite shop in Apalachicola when Kathleen and Vicki and Judy and Denise and I stayed on St. George. I had gotten a few things for the other girls and after I gave them to them, I could never find those earrings.
And then today, they just showed up in their little plastic bag right there on top of the jewelry box that I pass by forty times a day and store my watch and silver bracelets on.
All right. This COULD be a motherfucking Christmas miracle because they are red, shiny earrings but I don't think so.
I immediately suspected that Kathleen had something to do with it and I called her up. She was sitting in the oncology center in Thomasville, waiting for a shot, and she denied all knowledge of such goings on. But she was here two days ago. And she's trying very hard to pick up karma points. We were laughing about that on Tuesday morning.
So I don't know.
Did she somehow replace those earrings and slip them onto my jewelry box? Did she find them in her things and put them there yesterday? Did...the Christmas fairy do it?
I don't know but it's odd. I found them, I wondered at them, I put them in my ears.
Let it be.
I went to town. I got presents. I marveled and delighted at the fact that Tallahassee has a Sephora outlet where a beautiful Asian gay guy in very tasteful make-up helped me make my choices. I went to a shop for a gift certificate and was charmed by a woman named Frahnkie. I don't know that that's how you spell it, but that's how you say it. FRAHN-KIE. She was beautiful, that Frahnkie was. She had long, dark hair with bangs and I envied her youth, her energy, her gorgeous skin and her shop.
I did all I needed to do and came home and then Jason and Owen came out. Jason and Mr. Moon had scheduled this afternoon to clean Jason's deer and since Lily was at work, I volunteered to take care of my grandson.
Like that was a big sacrifice or something.
We played in the house and we went outside. He was wearing his big red jacket when he came and when we went outside, I bundled him in it. I put the hood-hat on him and he looked like this:
He insisted on carrying a basket outside that he found in the kitchen and I thought he looked for all the world like a modern-male Little Red Riding Hood. He can barely walk in that jacket, it is so bulky and the hood fits like a helmet, keeping his head in an upright position. He didn't seem to mind it though, and we walked around the yard and he fed the goats and he kissed his Bop and he picked up sticks and chased the cat.
He was very busy inside today, too. He not only got all of the stuff out of the cabinets, he placed them in different places, rearranging the kitchen, as it were.
You will notice the Revere Ware up by the Kitchen Aide. He carefully placed those pans there and was satisfied with his work. Then he found the baskets and wanted to put the bread pans in them.
I let him.
He polished the floor and walls with baby wipes and he got out the dust mop.
"Mop," he said, quite clearly.
As well as "butt" when I changed his diaper.
He is intent in his projects and he is serious about learning. And he laughs a lot.
He ate two cucumbers while I was making supper and he again ate an entire yogurt but he gave a cooked carrot and a muffin to the dogs.
He looks so much like his mother and his father that I can hardly stand it.
I talked to May and she made me feel better just as Hank's comment on my post this morning did. I think that for Christmas Eve we shall have chicken salad and pizzas and play games. And on Christmas morning we'll eat breakfast and open presents and there will be tangerines and toothbrushes and who cares what else?
I made Mr. Moon and me some supper of tuna and quinoa and Freddy called when we sat down to eat. He is filled with the movie making spirit again and wants me to be at his house tomorrow night. I have rehearsal tomorrow night and that is my commitment and I told him that.
"Can you leave by eight?" he asked. "It's important."
"What's so important?" I asked. "Do you have a part for me?"
"Am I talking to Mary Moon?" he asked. "Maybe I'm talking to Mary Mars."
I still do not understand why he wants me in his movies. There are beautiful young things clamoring to be in FC Rabbath movies. I'm an old, wrinkled thing with no real experience and no
training. All I can do is show up and do what he tells me.
"Say this. Say that. Lose the gum."
I spit out my gum, I say this, I say that.
And I don't even know why Jan and Jack have asked me to play Truvy. Everyone is going to be expecting Dolly Parton and I am not Dolly Parton and I COULD imitate her if necessary but then it wouldn't be me playing Truvy. It would be me imitating Dolly Parton and although that may indeed go over better than me playing Truvy, I just can't do it. I have to make Truvy out of the words written for myself and so far, I am not exactly threatening to change the world.
They asked me if I'd be willing to color my hair. I laughed. "Of course!" What's hair to me? I've given up on it recently, just willing it to grow in gray but Truvy wouldn't do that.
When I say the line, "It takes some effort to look like this!" I want people to be laughing with me, not at me. So I'll color my hair and I'll wear whatever they want me to wear, even if that involves a push-up bra and false eyelashes and I'll do it because although I don't have a clue as to what being an actor involves, I do realize it involves becoming the part you are playing.
And Truvy does not believe in natural beauty and there you go.
So it's been a day of feeling like a complete and utter failure as a mother and then going to town and doing the best I could there, and finding a pair of earrings as if they had been delivered from a parallel universe and then being a grandmother and following my grandson around the yard as he picked up sticks and fed the chickens bread and ate pansies, and then being asked to show up for a film rehearsal.
What the fucking fuck? Has life gotten swirled around the drain? Is Jackson Pollack throwing the paint of my life at the wall?
I don't know. And to add to the weirdness, Mr. Moon left after supper to go to a basketball game which starts at nine-something at FSU.
And he is going to pick up a Christmas tree on his way into town. They are selling them for ten dollars at Publix and Lily called to tell him so. I don't think I'm going to put a damn thing on that tree but lights. And who knows? Maybe I'll bake cookies and put those on too, the way I used to do when the children were little?
Ah-yah, I say.
For those of you who come here who are young and haven't figured out yet what your life is about or where your path leads or who you're supposed to be or what you think or how you feel or...whatever...let this be a lesson to you- thirty years from now, you're probably still not going to know.
Make peace with that. And the sooner the better.
But stick around. It can get interesting at times.
And it may be that red earrings have magical powers.