I am up.
It was not easy to get up today.
Mr. Moon bought us new sheets. Now let me say that in the twenty-seven years we have been together, he has never once bought us new sheets that I can remember. But we'd been talking about getting new sheets since our anniversary and he actually went out and bought some and they are, by far, the most comfortable, lovely sheets I have ever personally slept on.
And it's cold, you know, and there I was in those sheets, warm as I could be and every time I moved a hair my entire body shivered with delight and a tiny bit of ecstasy, just feeling those sheets.
But Jessie spent the night and I wanted to get up and see her and so I did. She made her daddy and herself a breakfast of egg sandwiches. I was like, "But we just ate!" speaking of last night's dinner, of course, and I had a bowl of granola and Jessie had one of those too.
How does she stay so skinny, that girl? Ah, the magic of a 21-year old metabolism.
I've been using the exercycle, the way I said I would and it's okay. I turn on Bravo TV and watch whatever crap is on and peddle away for half an hour and then I fall off the bike onto the guest room bed and regain my legs. Then I eat a fat-free yogurt, a few prunes and almonds and I get fatter every day.
All I want for Christmas is new Goodwill overalls. Kids- that is my Christmas list. Don't get me any with Pooh or Mickey Mouse on them. Why in the world do they put Pooh and Mickey Mouse on adult overalls? I will never, as long as I live, figure that out. But they do. I find perfectly good overalls and joyfully pull them off the rack to see...Pooh.
Back they go.
There is nothing wrong with keeping a child-like heart but I do not care to walk around with Pooh on my overalls. Overalls themselves are bad enough.
Here is a picture of me and Jessie. I am wearing overalls.
Jessie is wearing red lipstick because she is going to a gangster party in Boulder and needed some red lips and she was trying out my offerings in that department. Zeke is wearing his sweater. Doesn't he look like a werewolf? A teeny, tiny werewolf.
I cried when Jessie left a few minutes ago. She is driving to Pensacola tomorrow and then flying out to see Vergil in Boulder. I am happy for her. I want her to go and have adventures and be with the boy she cares about so and I am used to my children being gone for periods of time but still...I cried. It's that sort of day.
Here's Jessie with her daddy:
Who wouldn't cry?
I actually started Christmas shopping yesterday. Billy called me and asked me to lunch with him and Waylon and his grandparents and his sister. I didn't really want to leave Lloyd, but I love those people and so I went. It was mighty good to see them. Billy gave me a mix CD that he made for me and I think my favorite song on the whole thing is one called Cheater, Cheater by Joey and Rory.
Oh hell, let me just post it. Listen for a giggle.
And no, whoever wrote the lyrics out on that one had no clue as to spelling but you'll get the idea. Listen to it at least until you get to the chorus, y'all. (Cheater, Cheater, where'd you meet her/That low-class, white-trash ho?) I mean it!
I do love my Billy. Here he is with his Maw-Maw, Paw-Paw, son Waylon and sister Kellie:
Maw-Maw kept saying, "Hurry up, Mary. I'm cold!"
So anyway, after I left the restaurant I went to the MALL and got a few things and then to Marshall's and got a few things and to Bed, Bath and Beyond with my little coupon in hand but they didn't have one damn thing I needed although that store is packed with crap. CRAP! Christmas crap everywhere you go. Who needs that crap? Not me, baby. Not me.
Then I went to the bookstore to look for calenders and they didn't have what I needed either so I got a coffee and a MacBook for Dummies which I have not read yet and who has time for that? What am I thinking?
I came home and went online and did some shopping there and so hell, I guess I've started the Joyful Christmas Gathering of Gifts.
I even bought Christmas cards. Last year I didn't send any because I had lost my address book but I found it so no excuse there.
Ah well. It's Christmas time. The most joyful time of the year. When I was in Marshall's some damn Christmas song was playing about how can it be a white Christmas if there's no snow, no snow, no snow?!! And I wanted to shout, WE GET IT! THERE'S NO FUCKING SNOW!
But I didn't, just continued to peruse the purses (and no, I did not get one) and then I got in the car and there was this song on the CD and honeys, check it out too.
These songs just make me want to drink Bud in the bottle in a little dark hole-in-the-wall dive with a twenty-year old fake Christmas tree in the corner, listing off to one side and a pathetic string of lights hung over the bar and play these songs on the jukebox and dance. With all my kids and husband and Billy and Shayla and any of y'all that could make it.
Now THAT would be a fine Christmas.
Especially if they served oysters. There used to be a bar like that in Tallahassee but they tore it down when they widened the road.
Okay. I have things to do, believe it or not. I need to haul my fat ass at least as far as the exercycle and maybe start Christmas cards and maybe go to town and maybe just drive around and sing to Billy's mix CD, avoiding any place that might be playing songs about no snow, no snow, no fucking snow.
Good thing that bar's not there anymore.