Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Booger Hearted

There. There's a picture of the bird feeder taken from behind the back door and it's a shitty shot and I'm in a shitty mood so there you go.

Something turned in my heart last night and my half-way decent attitude towards Christmas disappeared and my heart is as small and hard and green as one of the Grinch's boogers today.

Last night I went out to see the moon before I went to bed, knowing that I was NOT going to get up to see the eclipse and I wanted to take a picture of that moon and I could not hold still enough so I got on my back on the cold dirt and I propped my arms on my body and I took that picture you see for the header and damn, I was a little bit proud of it and when Mr. Moon saw it he said, "We have a tripod in the closet."

And isn't that just the way I am about everything?
I make everything harder than it should be and then I realize I'm a moron.

There is a huge bin of wrapping paper here, there are plenty o' gifts to wrap, I need to go back to a store to return something and get it right, I need to get things for stockings, and it's four days before Christmas and you know what I'm about to go do?

Rehearse at Freddy's house.
Filming tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah. Christmas. Whatever.

I'm sorry. I apologize. I should try to reach into this green, dried-up booger of a Grinch heart and say something sweet about family and memories or something profound about the solstice or something wise about time and the turning of the seasons or something poetic about the birds at the feeder and the way the sun is shining on this beautiful day or something funny about the chickens but really...no.

A. You have heard it all before.
B. I don't feel like it.
C. I need to get going.
D. Damn.

Maybe I'll feel more cheerful later. Maybe my green velvet dog-collar-scrunchie will make me all happy and warm inside. Like hot oatmeal with apples and pecans and cinnamon.


But guess what?
I love you.
Ms. Moon


  1. Well, you took an incredible moon picture. How amazing is your camera?

    Just enjoy yourself, Mary, and stop worrying about not feeling Christmassy. Your kids are all grown up, they can make it now!

  2. I share your mood, as usual.

    Bah fucking humbug.

    But I love you, too!

  3. It's all true. And you're entitled to feel how you feel.

    But ohmygod what a fabulous moon picture! I could feel the reflection when the image rose on my screen. Bless you for sharing.

    And who cares if you took it lying in the dirt or from a tripod? What you do is more important than how you do it.

  4. guick
    do not pass go...
    just straight away to
    for immediate transformation...


  5. FABULOUS MOON, Ms. Moon!!! I was talking with Annie last night and said I didn't think I'd be able to get up for the eclipse and she said, "Just take a look when you get up to pee." So I did, around 4A.M. and it was beautiful, all golden with the white moon peaking through. And stars galore! Best pee I've ever had.

  6. Eh, getting out the tripod and setting it up would have been way more of a hassle.

  7. I do every single thing in my life in the hardest way humanly possible. So yes, I know exactly EXACTLY what you mean. This is how I feel every single day at work :)

    I love you too.

  8. That really is a spectacular picture of the moon. I'm feeling a lot like you, but I'm hoping it will pass. I need to wrap my presents too.

  9. That photo of the moon is incredible, Ms. Moon. And that's worth a lot.

  10. I like your style of lying on your back and taking that gorgeous shot. It is what an artist does, gets down on knees or on stomach or back and gets the shot. That is not hard or green but good. Love you back there, Ms. Moon.

  11. Fuck that tender-hearted and profound shit.

    Your moon photo is GORgeous.

  12. i'm with downtown guy on the tripod hassle. and now when i look at that moon, i also see Ms. Moon, on her back on the cold, hard ground, determined to get the shot. and you sure did.

    you know, hon, christmas is just another day. promise you'll remind me of that.

  13. I'm laughing right now, b/c guess what? I was in need of some nurturing, so I made myself some apples and cinnamon oatmeal.

    How funny.

  14. Guess what? I love YOU.

    And your heart is the opposite of Grinchy.

  15. p.s.
    i love you ms. moon...

  16. fuck the tripod, that moon pic is EARNED, you can TELL!!!! Gorgeous.
    I love you too.
    And I love when you bitch.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.