I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I seriously considered just not doing it but I suppose that I have enough of my grandfather's puritanism in me that I simply cannot lay abed all day so I got up, and felt guilty about the late hour.
I discovered that not only was my husband up (of course) but that he and Vergil were already working on the electrical problem in the old kitchen. I gave them a vague good-morning and went and got my coffee. I love my new Yeti coffee mug. It will keep a cup of coffee hot for hours. I am a coffee-sipper. Lis and Mr. Moon tease me and Lon because we pour little half cups of coffee but I think we do that because that way we can drink it before it gets cold and then refill from the pot where it is still hot. With the Yeti, I can just sip away on the same cup for a good long time, sitting here on the back porch, checking my emails and reading blogs and watching birds.
After a string of texts from the regular family group, it was decided that Gibson's party will be postponed until next weekend. Too many of us are not feeling quite well and we do not want to get the others sick. I honestly think that I have done the same thing that Jessie and August have done which is to catch overlapping viruses. I covid-tested again today and again, I was negative. I swear, I almost wish it had been positive because at least I'd have an explanation for why I'm still sick. August is still coughing too and you can hear the congestion in my head when I talk.
But since I figured that I already have/had what the Weatherfords have/had, I invited Jessie and the boys to come and hang out while the fellas were working and they did. The boys and I read some books and because the men had the electricity off, I could not heat up leftovers for our lunch, Jessie took orders and went to the Hilltop to get us all tasty foods. Levon wanted a peanut butter and raisin and honey sandwich so I made him one and proclaimed it to be the best sandwich I'd ever made. He took a bite, said, "Yum! Thank you for making me this delicious sandwich!" We were all happy with what we'd ordered and got our six-months' fill of tasty fried foods. Actually, I got a chicken salad sub but the only way it could have had more fat in it is if they'd deep fried it, which, thankfully they do not. That is an idea I should ponder though. Sounds like something that Americans would eat.
The boys did a dance for their mama and me to a song appropriately about dancing. They themselves had changed the words to include something like, "Pull down your pee-pee pants" and then they sang me a few more ditties they'd learned from a cousin which included a great deal of potty humor. Why is it that kids develop and hone their senses of humor on butts and farts, pee and poop? I do not know but I do know that if my siblings and I had tried that, we would have been shut down like a Waffle House in the direct path of a Category 5 hurricane. It truly was as if the nether regions did not exist in my house when I was a child. The words that were used for human waste were so absolutely cutified that to this day I cannot bear repeating them nor will I. I think that asses were perhaps called "bottoms" and if we had genitals, they were not mentioned. I knew that my brother had something I did not but what I had seemed, well, like nothing. An absence although of course, things did happen down there. There was no farting in public. None. The first time I ever heard another human being pass gas was when a woman friend of my mother's was standing by a window watching a horse outside. I have no idea where we were but she did indeed fart and loudly, too. Up until that point I was fairly sure that I was the only person in the world who did such a disgusting thing but I must have learned to suppress the sound when I did before I was done potty training. I was exquisitely embarrassed for this woman, whom I recall was a nurse, and someone I highly regarded. But she said, "Excuse me," as if it were nothing and went on with her life whereas here I am over sixty years later, still remembering.
So when my grandchildren glorify their farts and sing songs about pee-pee pants, I love it! They are comfortable with their bodies and their functions. They know all the parts and they also know that some of those parts are not to be touched by anyone other than their parents or a doctor or nurse and only then in extreme circumstances in which they MUST be touched.
This sort of mindset and information might have prevented me from a great deal of pain and confusion when my stepfather moved into our house. When he began molesting me I didn't even know that women had periods and when I finally worked up the courage to ask my mother what "sanitary napkins" were (there was a coin-operated dispenser at the bowling alley in the ladies' room) she hemmed and hawed and sort of made me think that perhaps women had a wound that opened up inside of them monthly which required bandaging.
And yet, oddly enough, I knew what sexual intercourse was because some of my classmates obviously came from homes where privacy was not valued who knew all about it and enlightened all of us on the very basics but it was still incredibly mysterious.
Oh, there is so much more I could say about this and perhaps I will one day. Suffice it to say, I honestly and earnestly believe that explaining things to children on a level they can understand is not only a good thing, it is necessary. And it's not always easy to talk to kids about these things but a parent's job is NOT easy nor is it supposed to be. The fantasy that if we do not talk about bodies, our children will somehow magically not use their own in ways that, as mammals, as animals, as HUMANS, we are all bound to do.
Until the sacred and blessed marital bed has been reached by the path of honorable and legal blessings, of course.
And it need not even be mentioned that the two people IN that bed will be a MAN and a WOMAN as ordained by GOD according to their genitals.
And here in Florida, we certainly do not want to discuss any alternative to that scenario just as we do not want to discuss any history which may make specific people (white people) uncomfortable, or angry (people of color).
Y'all. I'm about to give up on the human race. Not only are we a racist, cruel, tribal, selfish, violent, ignorant, and power-mad species, we celebrate those traits and pass laws to protect those of us who act in those ways. Not to mention how many religions we have created to rationalize our cruelty, our ignorance.
When I read this article today, something in me just broke.
Of course humans are capable of amazing things. Art and literature, great empathy and kindness, philanthropy, braveness, open-mindedness, curiosity, and general, pure magnificence. But my god! Over my lifetime I have seen very little progress being made towards this end of the balance beam and when I have, it always seems that something from the evil and ignorant side plops themselves down to negate the weight of the good.
Meanwhile, I'm just here and I'm going to be grateful for every evidence of kindness and decency and pure joy and love and light I can find.
And I shall delight in children, innocent and yet aware, dancing happily to songs about pee-pee pants and laughing at jokes about farts and butts.
But that doesn't mean I am not horrified and sickened by what's going on in the world.
Because I am. Always have been, always will be. And somehow, I am still amazed and dumbstruck at it all.
That's it from me tonight.
I saw a man at the grocery store this afternoon who looked like Mr. Moon from a distance. I made a mental note to tell you that silly small detail. :)ReplyDelete
I totally agree about children knowing all about their bodies and with no shame or stigma attached to the normal parts and functions that just make us all human. The world would be a better and kinder place if children were all treated with honesty and kindness and the inhererent dignity that should come with being human. Poop, pee, farts, bits, and all!
You know, Mr. Moon does have a few twins in this world! We've seen a few of them!Delete
I agree with you so much about children being taught and treated with dignity. Absolutely! I have no tolerance for people who treat children like they are ignorant. They are NOT! They just need to be taught and given the permission to explore and think.
I do agree that children should be told in terms they can grasp, as many times as they need to hear it about all the normal body functions. Including death. There's a lot of cowardice around these subjects. We need to be brave.ReplyDelete
Tell me why I always read your blog name as Bless Our Hearth??Delete
First, Bless Our Hearth would be a good name for a blog.Delete
And you're right about teaching children even about death. Absolutely.
Beautifully said, all of it. You are one of the reasons I haven’t quite given up on humanity yet. Your blog reminds me there is still goodness, beauty, kindness and love in the world, despite the pettiness and cruelty. Thank you.ReplyDelete
Oh, Barbara. Thank you. That means so much to me.Delete
Wow. As my late idol, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, might have said, "What a screed!" Well felt, Ms. Moon, well felt.ReplyDelete
Of course Hunter and Keith were friends. There's an interview out there with them together and it's a damn mess!Delete
Thank you for your words.
My mother, even after 40 years of marriage, had never farted in front of my father. I tried my damndest to be as honest as I could with Jonah (though the time he told me he was going to marry me and put a baby in me and explained how, at age three, I realized that oh, maybe my mom wasn't totally insane for telling me that you just said a prayer to jesus and you got pregnant if you were lucky). Anyway, he and his friends are totally non-plussed by bodies and periods (even though we had 4 girls, we were not to ever speak of that), though Jonah did tell me recently that he thought the sticky part of a maxi pad was supposed to stick to a girl's body and his friend Mia had to knock some sense into him.ReplyDelete
Levon said just the other day that when he grew up he was going to find his mama and marry her. And he probably will, in a different form. But so far he has not expressed a desire to impregnate her! Ha!Delete
A friend of mine's mom told her daughters that when two people sleep together, the sperm from the man crawls over the bed to get into the woman. There were no more details.
I'm glad that Jonah and his friends have such a pragmatic attitude towards bodies and periods. Good for them and for their good parents! Now, the Maxi pad thing...
A lot for us for one night. I hope you feel better tomorrow.ReplyDelete
I sometimes think too much.Delete
what Barbara said... xxooReplyDelete
And thank you, Carol.Delete
Honesty in relation to the human body is vital when answering children's questions. After all, there's nothing to be ashamed of and that is the key message we should try to get across to them. Why should we apologise for farting? Every human being farts several times every day. Instead of asking a child to beg for pardon, better to say "Wow! That was a big one. I think it was an E minor."ReplyDelete
Nothing makes my grandchildren as merry as complimenting them on a fart.Delete
That Trenton, NJ story is beyond fucked-up. I'm with you. It's exhausting and horrible. All we can do is the right thing -- and yet so many people just can't seem to figure it out.ReplyDelete
I guess the problem is, is that our ideas of what the right thing is are so varied as to be unrecognizable towards each other. Are we all really the same species?Delete
Humanity would be a lot better off if people parked their egos. and learned rather than being ignorant. Until then, the world is fucked up and the only thing we can do is practice individually all the things we should be doing collectively to make the world a better place. I am sorry you are still unwell.ReplyDelete
I saw a meme today about how it might help things if Pizza Hut gave away a pan pizza to every ADULT who reads five books. People just don't want to give up their beliefs, no matter how illogical they are. It is part of our nature.Delete
I don't remember learning about my body, but I knew about periods and where babies came from, so I must have learned very early. it probably helped that when very little the three of us kids all bathed together, me, my sister and our younger brother, until we got too big to all fit in. so we knew the differences between the sexes all along. There was never any shame about bodily functions, mum would day there's nothing to be embarrassed about, even the Queen wees and poops just like the rest of us.ReplyDelete
Now that sounds terrifically sane and sensible. And I love that she told you that even the Queen has bodily functions! What a great example to use!Delete
The Trento story is just one more reason why I will never visit America, too many gun-happy persons.ReplyDelete
I do not blame you.Delete
I just left a comment on another blog...human beings are a destructive species. I like individuals well enough but humans as a whole? Not so much.ReplyDelete
I know exactly what you mean. And as I've often quoted Lon as saying, "I like people. OUR people." And I guess that's tribalism too but I think that Lon's definition of "our" is fairly broad.Delete
keeping all that exists between the waist and knees a secret is what enables the shame that keeps abuse a secret. we all need to keep speaking our truths.ReplyDelete
Amen, amen, amen, AMEN! Yes, m'am!Delete
I was Catholic and it seemed as if everything was a sin and guilt was always there. I am glad I have left that and I don't have religion anymore. It does more harm than good.ReplyDelete
All you need is love...
I am listening right now (well, not this second) to a podcast about the Bible myth of the Garden of Eden and sex and how religion is so set on controlling sexuality. It's all so fucking weird!Delete
Potty humour was very much alive and kicking in my home with two boys - not that I cared, as long as it was at home and not in company.ReplyDelete
Yes- that is often the hard part. Keeping the fart jokes at home!Delete
Jack finds farts hilarious, as do I:) He knows his body parts, even though his mom finds things like that horrible. Really, shouldn't he know what all his body parts are and what they do? I think all humans should have a mandatory course on human bodies, how they work and why.ReplyDelete
As for the US, I have no words. Actually I do have three words, WTF.
That young man who was accosted by four masked men, why wouldn't you try and get away from them? And why were the police dressed like that? Why did they pull over beside him? Since when do police cars carry four police officers? The whole thing stinks and now there is a young man who will spend the rest of his life in a wheel chair. It is heart breaking indeed.
Yes. Jack, and every other child has the right to know how his body and other bodies function. The hows and the whys and all the names. I'm sorry that his mother is so close-minded.Delete
As to the US- you're right. We are way, way deep in the WTF territory. I hope he gets millions of dollars in his law suit although of course that won't do one damn thing to help him walk again.
Potty humor in kids is perfectly normal and a part of growing up. As for the state of the human race, especially in this country, your take is spot on, I despair for the future. I hope you have a better tomorrow.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Jim. I appreciate that.Delete
Honestly, that linked piece broke me too. I hope you and August feel better soon. Maybe you just have the flu.ReplyDelete