Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Trust Me- It Was Scary

It's like freaking Camelot around here in that the rain never falls 'til after sundown. If I wake up in the night, it is raining and when I get up, it is dripping still from the leaves. If it were just a bit cooler, it would indeed be a most congenial spot.

So. Dreams. Are other people's dreams the most boring thing in the world?
Let me sum the one that woke me up at five-thirty this morning thusly:

Went out with husband to hear band with a friend in it. First thing I did- knock guitars off of guitar stands. REALLY huge, big, major no-no. Luckily, no instruments harmed. Tried to order a Tanqueray and Tonic at a very crowded outdoor bar. Bartender, older sassy woman says, "Girl after my own heart. But why don't you get the red gin? It's five dollars for ten drinks. Horrified, I say, "No thanks." It takes forever to get the drink. Men hit on me. Ugly men with few teeth. I keep looking for my husband. Can't find him. Drink finally arrives in front of me. "That'll be forty dollars," says the bartender. I freak and decided that'll be the only drink I'm having that night. Of course I can't find my money. Finally I do. Then I leave the bar where I'm sitting but forget the drink. I am carrying coffee. Somehow I find I am in a dark alley, filled with scary punky gothy kids. One makes threatening advances, picks me up. I say, "I AM HANK'S MOTHER!" He takes me to the door of the bar and gently sets me back inside. I can see Mr. Moon but he can't see me and can't hear me. I realize I'd left my drink behind. I go to see if it's still there. It is not but they put it in a plastic jar behind the bar and instead of a lime slice, it's filled with soggy orange slices. "You won't replace it?" I ask the bartender. She looks at me as if I'm crazy, pours the sluck into a glass, hands it to me.
I am frantic to find my husband. I go into the restroom to collect my stuff which somehow I have left there. I pick up my canvas bag, clothes and books fall out. Someone says, "Why do you have so many books?"
"Because if the Apocalypse happens and I have no books, I am shit out of luck," I say. 
The bartender laughs at me. She is on break. 
"I only go out about once a year," I tell her.
"I can see why," she says. 

Never found husband. Never heard band. 

Who can name the most fears/anxieties/neurosis involved in this dream? Oh, there was more. But that's enough.

Anyway, la-di-dah and it's time to get ready for the dentist.
Jessie's coming in tonight. I must mop the kitchen floor because soon it will have enough soil upon it to grow corn in there.

It is gray. Leaves are still dripping. Hen house needs de-pooping.

I wonder if I should go to a bar tonight.

Advise, please.

Love...Ms. Moon

19 comments:

  1. Ah yes, curse of the stupid boring stress dream. WHERE IS JOHNNY DEPP?

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  2. Jo- In someone else's dream, obviously.

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  3. Hmmm...it was a night for bad dreams then because I had them too. Mine involved shit as usual.

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  4. Am I the only one who laughed out loud reading your dream? With you, not at you. I've had dreams like that, yes indeed. Evidence for my sanity trial maybe? Crazy shit. Don't you feel completely unrested too? wtf, shouldn't we get a fun dream now and then?
    xo

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  5. I dreamed I snuck into a married man's house to WASH HIS DISHES.

    What the hell is that?

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  6. Aren't dreams strange!?
    Pfft... is there such a thing as too many books? Uh, NO!
    Whenever I have to go to the bathroom but am sleeping... my dream will be something like that... that I am in a restroom but the toilets are all dirty so I won't use it. Or I get into a stall but it's starting to overflow and I still can't. It's like because I can't get the actual relief since I'm sleeping (well, unless I just peed the bed.. lol) in the dream I can't get relief either. I'll be walking all around, trying to find one. Or I'll be lost and can't get home, etc. Then I wake up, realize I have to actually go, so I get up and do that.

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  7. I advise you to not go to the bar. But you are asking a big baby that hates loud and crowded places. Stay home and read a book.

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  8. An anxiety dream if ever I heard one. I think maybe do go to the bar tonight. It can't possibly be as bad as the dream, right? And it sounds like you could use a drink.

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  9. Syd- I cannot tell you how grateful I am that my dreams do not involve shit. I'll write that down in my gratitude journal. Haha!

    Mel- Seriously, it was hysterical when you think about it. I LOVE the fact that the bartender (and she was wearing dark lavender lace and smoking, of course, said, "I can see why." I think this is proof of my sense of humor if nothing else in this world.

    Stephanie- Oh Lord, child. I'm not even going to guess.

    Crystal Chick- I DID have to pee when I woke up. I hear you.

    ditchingthedog- Staying home and having a beer here.
    With all my books around me.

    Mr. Downtown- I AM THE MOTHER OF HANK! It was like power. It was awesome.
    Thanks for having my back.

    Ms. Vesuvius- Yes, I agree. I am having one.

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  10. I love that the incantation "I am Hank's Mother" was the one that saved you. Hank must be a helluva guy. (I like his photo-blog too)

    My dreams last night were crazy and stressful, and today I had an unpleasant procedure under general anesthetic and can you believe I had more of the same flavor of crazy dreams while I was knocked out? I didn't think that was even possible.

    Thank the gods I can come here. I think my husband suspects something though.

    -invisigal

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  11. YOU ARE HANK'S MOTHER! That is the best part. Made me lol

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  12. I know this post came before the purse story, but now I'm thinking you need to go back and buy that purse to combat your demons.

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  13. Ha! I say go to the bar. Confront your anxiety! As Vesuvius implied, the reality is likely to be much, much better than the dream.

    I never remember my dreams with that much continuity. I just remember bits and pieces that never add up to a coherent storyline.

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  14. All my dreams are like this, vivid and weird technicolor mind fucks. Enjoy them when they come!

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  15. If it's a really good people watching bar...yes.
    Just reading the word dentist makes me anxious.
    xxoo

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  16. Never order the red gin. That's my take away.

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  17. Anonymous- I've never heard of dreaming under general either. Weird. I hope all is well.

    Jill- It was the magic phrase.

    Elizabeth- Interesting theory.

    Steve Reed- These are like entire novels sometimes. I swear.

    Yobobe- Me too.

    Denise- Even in my dream I knew this to be true.

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