It has been warmer today but it has also been gray and heavy, too. I woke up this morning a little earlier than I have been, probably because I went to sleep earlier too. My soul felt like a foretelling of today's weather and I could not stay awake any longer. It took me quite awhile to get myself out of the bed this morning as I felt no more cheerful than I had the night before. But finally, I did, and made myself do a few things that seemed way too difficult to do which was absurd because I am talking about things like cutting and filing my fingernails for tomorrow's pottery class and watching a few videos to try and get some ideas about another project.
So. Much. Work. And for what? Everything seems rather pointless right now. I wish I was the sort of person who, when things get rough, gets to work to help smooth things out, even if only in the smallest ways but I am not. My reaction is to retreat, to hide, to become still although not necessarily silent. And I do want to know what's going on, even if that knowledge only makes things worse.
Here's something I want to address- the things we call Donald John Trump because we do not want to say or see or hear his name. He has been given thousands of other names and, like Voldemort in the Harry Potter books, Donald Trump has become He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
I am conflicted about this. In a way, it seems to me that we are giving him too much power by refusing to say his name as if he were an otherworldly being. I think this contributes to our feeling of powerlessness. How can we fight that which cannot even be named? But you know what? He is human. He is an insane, horrible, terrible, cruel, ridiculously uneducated and narcissistic human being but he is human. And as such, even with all of the power he has acquired which is almost as much as anyone on earth has ever had, he is a man who can and must be defeated. Nicknames for him somehow make me feel as if we are dealing with a playground bully and he has gone far, far beyond that. This is not elementary school, this is the future of our country and also, our planet. To me, it seems that we must address reality and the very foundation of this unthinkable reality is that his name is Donald Trump and as much as any of us do not want to say it, hear it, or read it, it is his name and may one day that name be as vilified as that of Hitler's although please, all the powers that be, do not let Trump get that far down the road of what I would love to call unthinkable deeds but we must think about what Hitler did, we must speak about the atrocities out loud. We must call Adolph Hitler to account and all of his supporters too.
So. Much. Work. And for what? Everything seems rather pointless right now. I wish I was the sort of person who, when things get rough, gets to work to help smooth things out, even if only in the smallest ways but I am not. My reaction is to retreat, to hide, to become still although not necessarily silent. And I do want to know what's going on, even if that knowledge only makes things worse.
Here's something I want to address- the things we call Donald John Trump because we do not want to say or see or hear his name. He has been given thousands of other names and, like Voldemort in the Harry Potter books, Donald Trump has become He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
I am conflicted about this. In a way, it seems to me that we are giving him too much power by refusing to say his name as if he were an otherworldly being. I think this contributes to our feeling of powerlessness. How can we fight that which cannot even be named? But you know what? He is human. He is an insane, horrible, terrible, cruel, ridiculously uneducated and narcissistic human being but he is human. And as such, even with all of the power he has acquired which is almost as much as anyone on earth has ever had, he is a man who can and must be defeated. Nicknames for him somehow make me feel as if we are dealing with a playground bully and he has gone far, far beyond that. This is not elementary school, this is the future of our country and also, our planet. To me, it seems that we must address reality and the very foundation of this unthinkable reality is that his name is Donald Trump and as much as any of us do not want to say it, hear it, or read it, it is his name and may one day that name be as vilified as that of Hitler's although please, all the powers that be, do not let Trump get that far down the road of what I would love to call unthinkable deeds but we must think about what Hitler did, we must speak about the atrocities out loud. We must call Adolph Hitler to account and all of his supporters too.
We must call a Nazi salute a Nazi salute and we must call out the man who did it and the man who stood by and said nothing.
I'm sorry. I have no right to tell anyone on this earth that they need to use Trump's name. But if I do, please understand why.
*******************
Another thing that I made myself do today, besides cutting and filing my fingernails, was to drive to the new trailhead park I've talked about which is about five miles from my house. For months I have watched construction going on at the entrance with a little playground, restrooms, and a parking lot and it has been open now for at least two months, I think. My motivation to walk has been at zero for way too long but somehow today, I managed to drive over there.
Eventually, it will be looped in and connected to other trails that Leon County has built through the forested parts of the county. Or...sort of forested. Those wiggly blue lines are actually part of the headwaters of the St. Mark's river which eventually flows into the Gulf of MEXICO as a very good-sized river. I am not sure what those other bodies of water are. I am no good at maps.
The beginning of the trail looked like the picture I posted at the top and here are a few more I took.
This is one of the little creeks that eventually becomes the St. Marks.
Cypress knees and cypress trees.
A patch of saw palmettos- the kind of palm I am thinking about planting in the front yard. The cold obviously did not bother them in the least.
I only walked a little over a mile and a half and I have never been as out of shape in my life. I am ashamed. I am embarrassed. I've been a walker since I was in my twenties and here I am- barely able to cover less than two miles of flatland.
Will this do anything to motivate me?
We shall see.
We shall see.
Snow melt is still dripping off my porch roof but surely it will be gone after tomorrow. I don't mind it being here, I am just still shocked by its arrival and leisurely leaving.
Seventy years old and there are still so many things I never thought I'd see. Snow that my grandchildren could sled on? Now that was a fine thing, despite what it says about global climate change.
Donald Trump in power? Again?
Donald Trump in power? Again?
Nothing fine about that. Not one damn molecule of fine and I would gladly have never even had to think about the possibility and now it is our reality.
I'm going to go cook supper.
Love...Ms. Moon
Love...Ms. Moon
I read your blog regularly and this is my first comment. I live in Alberta Canada and am also feeling dread over Donald Trump. I was born in the US and immigrated with my parents to Canada when I was 15. I am absolutely mortified that we are facing such awful times ahead. I don't understand how our alliance (Canada and USA) is so strained right now. It is absolutely mind boggling that DT has been able to intimidate and threaten alliances and countries that have been "friends". Makes me so very sad....I too feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading here, Carol, and for taking the time to comment. I know that Trump is not only a danger to the citizens of the US. He is a danger to the world and anyone who does not see that is being deliberately blind.
DeleteI like the cypress knees. Does anyone but me see little monkeys sitting on top of them, as if they are carved there? I simply cannot bring myself to say that name, it would make it human to me. I have a variety of degrading names that I use, none as degrading as the thing itself.
ReplyDeleteI looked more closely at the cypress knees and see monkeys, too!
DeleteNo name could be as foul as that man is.
It is especially important to reflect upon these things today, Holocaust Remembrance Day. Yes, it can happen again, and yes, it can happen here. Margaret - from Galveston, in the Gulf of MEXICO.
ReplyDeleteI believe that if we don't acknowledge that we are already speeding down the road to autocracy, we are lying to ourselves.
DeleteEveryone knows who we mean when we say Orange turd, The Rump, Orange gas, IQ 47,The orange toddler does not deserve the dignity of calling him his "christian name". I can not give him name dignity because I know other Donalds who are honorable, I will save that name for them.
ReplyDeleteI love the cloudy sky and pebbly road photo, that is poetic for sure. Lovely earth!
IQ 47 has pretty much ruined that name- like no one ever names their little baby "Adolf" , do they?
The cypress tree in the reflections- wow what a great shot!
DeleteI WISH for a world where no one names their child Donald because it would acknowledge his evil to do so. I hope that this day comes before we are at war or under the complete control of him and the evil ones who surround him.
DeleteI like the reflections picture because you get the tree trunk and the tops in one photo!
I won't say that name. And I write it as T***p. I won't spend energy on making up other names.
ReplyDeleteNot that my energy is very high right now. Can't think why...
To me, seeing T***p only sends my brain right to the name so it's not helping me to avoid thinking of him. But that is just how I am.
DeleteIt's about dodging the algorithm.
DeleteDJT invokes a firestorm, and many people do not want to engage. That said, I believe there is a quiet rebellion and many that voted for DJT are seeing actions they do not support. It's a little late but better late than never.
ReplyDeleteThe Trailhead Park provides a great place to walk and observe the natural landscape. The palms growing in a large group make a lovely display.
I'd be tempted to dig a few up and bring them home.
Susan, I do not know what the answer is. HOW do we engage in a firestorm? We are all, at some point, going to be engaged whether we want to be or not. From what I've read in a few places, his supporters just keep believing whatever his latest lie is and drink it all down like delicious Kool Aid. The man can do no wrong for them.
DeleteThe trailhead park seems to be a nice place.
That new walking park is lovely. Hope you are motivated to resume walking before summer's heat.
ReplyDeleteMe, too, Joanne.
DeleteVery well said. I imagine that sometime in the future, there will be a computer program that runs through the internet that searches for the name trump, to try and figure out what the fuck what went wrong, so I use his name, but always in lower case because he does not deserve the respect that a proper noun infers. There is already probably such a program:)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got out for a walk. It's hard to stay in shape as we age. I'm having the worst time with strength, or rather lack of strength, in my quads. I'm working on it, but what used to take a few weeks or months, now requires a lot longer time frame apparently. Keep on walking, it's the best thing for your soul, your mind, and your body.
Sending hugs and love woman.
I feel certain that everything we say about him is being collected. This is chilling.
DeleteStaying in shape is always a continual process and at my age, I know that if I let it go, chances are I'll not be able to get back there. I fear I may have already done that but I'll try.
I mostly call him Trump, tho avoid using his first name. He is human, which makes him all the more terrifying. My Catholic sister thinks he's the anti-christ. But that makes him a monster, which I think excuses his behavior. I think he is criminally insane.
ReplyDeleteI, too, believe he is criminally insane. A sociopath.
DeleteCodex:For me it has to do with machine learning.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I don't understand your comment.
DeleteCodex: AI is "learning". So if I one mentions his name, you'll get more articles about him instead of what you may be looking for.
DeleteI don't think I use that sort of news services. Plus, he's the damn president and as such, there are bound to be so very many articles about him whether I use his name or not.
DeleteSo what's for supper?
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean abiut Trump and how we should use his name, but he somehow doesn't seem worthy of a proper name.
It's hard to pine for the things we used to be able to do and know we will never be quite the same again. But if you can manage to be comfortable the way you are now, things get easier. They did for me anyway.
I just personally feel that refusing to say his name does no good at all. BUT I realize that it may be emotionally healthier for some.
DeleteI am way too comfortable with the way my health is now in that I don't want to do anything to make it better and with that attitude, it is only going to get worse for me. I know this. I suppose I am thinking that at my age, things can go downhill very quickly. I'd rather them go downhill very slowly.
We have our own jackboots on the ground in the UK. I NEVER thought I would live to see anything like Two Tier Kier but hopefully he will be gone before he can do too much more damage. The jackboots in France are much more subtle, but still jackboots nonetheless!
ReplyDeleteI do not see how Trump can be gone before he does much more damage. And even if he did suddenly disappear, the people who have been behind his election with their own version of what the government should look like are gaining more and more control every second.
DeleteThat walk way looks wonderful. Keep it up Mary, use a tracker to count steps if it helps (helps me a lot) and take pictures to show us where you go.
ReplyDeleteI write out names etc. but refuse to use capitals, so for me they are nazis who follow hitler and so on.
Read this today and remembered you asked a few days ago, what can we do, interesting comments:
https://robertreich.substack.com/p/please-share-what-you-know
Thank you, Sabine. You have reminded me that I need to follow Robert Reich.
DeleteAgreed; call him Trump. Each day it's something else, isn't it? Today I saw he had fired 200 FDIC investigators. The other day it was the inspectors general (which is illegal to do). I don't know what the Democrats are doing. And seeing Hakeem Jeffries post something about God taking care of whatever; are you kidding me?
ReplyDeleteI didn't see that about Jeffries. He is also posting very strong anti-Trump things. I found the post I think you're talking about an it is most offensive to me in that it is strikingly religious.
DeleteIt is UNBELIEVABLE to see how quickly Trump is mowing down our government's ability to function for the people.
Sometimes the hardest part of taking a walk is getting out the door. You took some lovely photos. Noticing what's around you as you breathe in fresh air is good therapy. Cooking is great therapy, too...creating and chopping to nourish your body. Those little things in life keep us grounded.
ReplyDeleteI agree- both of those things are very important in our lives.
DeleteGood thinking about Trump. I usually just call him by name, and though I haven't given much thought to the reason why, I suppose it's similar to what you said -- he's just a man, not some supernatural ogre. I'm not even sure he's all that badly educated. He has an ivy-league college degree in economics, though I don't think he's inherently all that smart. None of which changes the fact that he's also a fascist, misogynist bully!
ReplyDeleteOh, I know the asshole (Donald Trump) went to good schools but I seriously doubt that he learned anything there and I even wonder if he wrote any of his own papers or took any of his tests. Why should he? He already knew everything.
DeleteI don't like to use his name in print as I imagine he has someone counting that so he can feel "popular". Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were able to get out for a walk and that looks like a lovely place to walk. Thanks for the photos of the cypress trees - so beautiful!
I wouldn't doubt anything about Trump when it comes to nefarious bullshit.
DeleteYou are so welcome for the pictures. I loved seeing the trees.
I have no problem using his name but I cannot tolerate his voice or look at that butthole mouth of his. It just fills me with loathing.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had someplace full of nature to walk where I could just walk out my door but the only thing around here is flat farm and ranch land. I could drive across town to walk along the river, I think there's a paved path there but driving somewhere to walk? So me and the dog just walk our neighborhood streets.
Yeah. I can't stand to see or listen to him either. And you're right- loathe is indeed the word.
DeleteI've never loved the idea of driving somewhere to walk either but if it means I'll do it, I guess I will.
Like Ellen A, I cannot tolerate the sound of his voice or the sight of his petulant face. I’m pretty lucky as there’s a big park with many nature trails within walking distance of my house and a gorgeous botanical garden, Flamingo Gardens, a short drive away. It always soothes my soul to be outside and noticing the beauty. It’s a reminder that it still exists in this messed up world.
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
Oh, that park sounds splendid! Perfect! And so do the gardens nearby. I hope you get to spend a lot of time in both places here in the next few years. It will help.
DeleteI totally understand what you mean about all the nicknames reducing him to a playground bully when he is so much more venal than that. I avoid the nicknames these day for the same reason. But I find I avoid using the name too.
ReplyDeleteI don't like using it either. But sometimes one must.
DeleteI love the cypress trees and knees. I didn’t know that’s what they were called (the knees; I knew the trees). I hope the new trails will encourage you. I understand what you mean about Trump. I think I need to start saying his name, no matter how vile. He’s already got too much power, the loathsome piece of shit.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that we can call him whatever we want but not necessarily as a substitute for his name.
ReplyDeleteYes. Cypress knees. Cypress trees are incredibly cool and can live for thousands of years.