All right. Let's check in.
How are you? I mean really, really, how ARE you?
I can't seem to figure out how I feel which is probably because I am disassociating my ass off. My mind has taken to the skies because it really does not want me to be here on this earth, in this country, on this day. It is the day that so many of us simply could not believe would ever be a reality (again) and yet, knew in our souls that it really could happen.
Also, I feel sick. Physically sick. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
And my mind isn't working very well. Writing this little bit of nothingness has already taken me at least twenty minutes. I have teared up at least fifteen times today but then the dull, gray-and-heavy-as-concrete curtain falls once again and I'm cut off from any real thinking, any real feeling.
I didn't watch any of the inauguration. Of course. But I have read a little bit about it. It does us no good to ignore what happens, what he says, what we are facing, what we are dealing with here.
Elon Musk rocking the ol' Nazi salute for one thing.
Now see- that's the sort of thing we can hang our hats on and say, "I told you."
Isn't it funny how even though we predict things, we can still be shocked when they happen?
No. It is not funny at all. I would so much rather be wrong.
Here's what I did today:
I took out the compost and picked greens. There were small pieces of ice in my greens. I almost froze my hands off. I have no idea what five nights with temperatures in the twenties is going to do to my garden.
I folded and put away one small load of laundry.
I pulled apart and stashed in their box all 998 pieces of the puzzle I just finished.
I started another one that Jessie gave me for Christmas.
I made garbanzo bean, sweet potato, greens, and venison sausage soup which is far more tasteless than those ingredients should possibly be able to produce. It's like there's some ingredient that I've completely forgotten about that obviously should be in there.
I made the bed.
While I did these things, I listened to about five hours of an audio book. "Broken Harbor" by Tana French. Nothing like a good murder story to distract you.
That's it. I have no idea what I did for the rest of the day but I'm sure it involved mindless internet crap.
My husband is on the road home and should be here around eleven tonight. Supposedly I'm going to pottery tomorrow which is also the day we're supposed to get some sort of that promised "wintery precipitation."
Man. This is some weird shit.
Stayed in today, but did not make anything wonderful in the kitchen- I just don't care. Wish I could pop over for some soup, looks fabulous. Glued some stuff, painted some stuff, watched a million you tube videos on art. The only thing I have seen re: the orange BS was a still shot of melania's Pizza Hut Hat.
ReplyDeleteMany have compared the hat to the Hamburglar's hat. She did not want us to see her eyes. I do not blame her.
DeleteI thought she wore it because she didn't want him to kiss her
DeleteI spent the day puttering around the house, trying not to think about what was happening in DC. When the main event was scheduled to begin, we sat down to a nice breakfast and watched the bird feeders. I refused to watch any coverage and I didn't log on to FB or any other social media (blogs excepted of course) all day. I started my first new knitting project in ages, a warm hat for my husband. I think I may need to get serious about knitting again to help with stress.
ReplyDeleteOur gay next door neighbor came out to chat when we walked the dogs earlier, and she was as depressed about everything as we were, maybe more so. Probably more so. We all assured each other that we're not going ANYWHERE and we won't back down if the time comes to stand up for each other. There are more of us than there are of them. I truly believe that.
Anyway....
Fuck DT, fuck Nazi Elon, fuck their enablers and fuck their supporters. That sums up how I feel today. Just FUCK.
I believe you expressed everything I'm feeling perfectly. FUCK! and GODDAMMIT! And also- Lord, help us now.
DeleteI think Jennifer describes it perfectly. Just FUCK
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
Yep.
DeleteI feel a deep, deep sadness, right to my core. Grief. All I can do is cry.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that my crying will begin when my soul thaws out a little bit. And as I write this, my eyes well up again.
DeleteI spent the day not managing a bit of glove design very well, watching documentaries about gracious country homes, all hats and horses, making mayo for my chicken sandwich, starting my car, getting very sad and upset and drinking tea.
ReplyDeleteCould have been worse. I guess
Sounds like you and I had similar days. A bit of this, a bit of that, and a lot of upset. I almost emailed you but decided that you did not need that.
DeleteI agree with every FUCK Jennifer said...probably more, being that gay neighbor. Thankfully, all my neighbors are wonderfully supportive. I
ReplyDeletedid not watch TV today and read very little internet bullshit on the Orange
Anus with his lovers, Elonia (First Lady of the Whitehouse) and Marketta Zuckerberg. I did make my crock pot veggie stew and did some local errands and about from my ass off....zero here in NE Ohio right now. Supposedly getting down to -11 tonight with wind chills -25 below tomorrow. At stay-at-home-day. Hope Mr. Moon gets in safely. I know Maurice will be swinging from the chandeliers!
Paranormal John
Too cold, too cold. Way too cold.
DeleteYeah, Trump's got it up his butt for The Gays. That didn't come out right.
Wait a minute, that didn't either.
You know what I mean.
Yep. Glen's home. All is well.
I'm just so disappointed and sad.
ReplyDeleteSo many of us are.
DeleteI feel so bad, angry, emotional!! I can't imagine how we can get through 4 years of this. I certainly did not watch the inauguration but got enough bits and pieces of it to just be sick!
ReplyDeleteLinda from Alabama
There's no way we can remain completely ignorant of what's going on. It's not only impossible, it's not good for us. But everything I hear makes me scream.
DeleteI watched the Discovery channel and the National Geographic channel for a bit, then I listened to the audiobook I started yesterday and worked on my 1,000 piece puzzle for a few hours! Sadly I did see that goddamned Nazi salute on Bluesky ... makes me sick to my stomach!
ReplyDeleteCrying isn't going to do any good but keeping after our Democratic folks to block every damned thing they can may help us get through a lot of this horror!
You are not alone, Mary!
As I understand it ... That Orange Lump of 💩 didn't even put his hand on the bible!
DeleteTrump didn't put his hand on the Bible. I wonder what that was about. Probably forgot.
DeleteElon's one sick motherfucker.
I did nothing. A table mate did watch the inauguration, all day, just to tell us how angry she is.
ReplyDeleteWell, at least she was angry.
DeleteWhen I had my TV on it was streaming one of my favorite British detective shows, Vera. I had a nice long phone conversation with a beloved cousin, we shared a few fucks about the nazi installation. Just trying here to guard my mental and physical health.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I don't think that what we learned last time about how to protect ourselves is going to be adequate to this.
DeleteI have ignored it - did a puzzle, read a book, made breakfast for my teenage son and his friends- and I refrained from going on social media to see what all the fake Christians that voted for him think about him not putting his hand on the Bible.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know that too.
DeleteToday was surreal. I'm feeling the reality of the next 4 years. Cognitive dissonance in true form.
ReplyDeleteI also thought about how American history books will document this day for future generations. Also, what will America be in 4 years? Lots of unknowns.
The unknowns are the scariest things, aren't they? Well, I am not sure that the knowns are going to be any better.
DeleteWell, I'm not American, so that helps. I don't know how people around him can just accept the insanity that comes out of his mouth. I guess they drank the kool-aid.
ReplyDeleteBecause this country is filled with idiots. All these theories about why he got elected and all I can think is that no, we're just a nation of deeply uneducated people of sub-normal intelligence.
DeleteAs luck would have it, my daughter needed us to keep our granddaughters today. The girls were out for MLK day and her regular babysitter broke her leg while skating so grandparents to the rescue. There is absolutely nothing like a 3 and 7 year old to keep you firmly planted in the here and now, with a bit of fantasy play to keep it exciting. We played baby dolls, made fantastical forts out of every blanket and cushion in the house, we colored, cut out paper snowflakes, played games, put on make-up, danced to tiktok videos, and somehow the 7 yr old got scissors and cut her babydoll's hair into a glorious mullet! The dog then ate the hair that had fallen on the floor which made him start barfing everywhere and then the girls started to sympathy barf...Man it was a sight!! But we got it all cleaned up AND I never even once thought about the orange jackass! Those girls make me crazy and keep me sane, I love them SO!
ReplyDeleteOur reality now is terrifying for sure but I refuse to let them steal the joy and peace I have worked so hard to attain in my life. NO HE CAN'T HAVE IT! At this point I'm surviving purely out of spite. Now tomorrow may be a different story, I might find myself in a puddle of grief, tears and rage. I don't know what else to do but pick myself up, look for the good, and keep on keeping on...and keep looking up (thank you Ross).
Angie D
Beautiful. All of that. I can only imagine that you were exhausted by the time time those girls went home. I think you should write a story about that day. Memorialize it in your own way with the dog-eating-the-doll-hair-and-puking details with all the rest. My god! You're probably still recovering.
DeleteI posted re MLK, a personal piece that a couple people read, napped, cooked, entertained Mercy and read. Reading is my sanity, and meditation and some music.
ReplyDeleteIt was a very good post.
DeleteThank you!
DeleteI am proud to say that I watched NONE of it. But everyone one facebook, take a look at who you are following. A lot of people suddenly found that they are following the White House, Donald Trump, Melania Trump or JD Vance. They just got automatically added to the list. You can unadd yourself.
ReplyDeleteI know that you're sick about it. I am trying to be just as encouraging as I can, because there are a lot of people out there who feel just like you do. You are not alone. Not sure if that helps, but it's all I got.
Okay. Well, if I start getting any weird posts, I'll check and see.
DeleteWe are all sick about this. Well, those of us who aren't insane. It does help to know I'm not alone. Neither are you.
I'm in a completely different country and dealt with all that stuff by not watching or listening to any of it on TV and turning the newspaper pages past it very quickly. I honestly do not know how all yousane Americans are going to cope thrugh the next four years. I did hear momentarily, before I muted the tv news, that he has promised (threatened) to do such and such before the end of his first day, I think round up the illegals and send them home. Then I muted and went back to washing my dishes. Hold tight to your family and your beliefs Mary, you have strength within you, just take one day at a time and cherish the good parts.
ReplyDeleteThank you, River. That was a sweet post and reminds me that the rest of the world is still out there. I hope so hard that this man does not negatively affect everyone on the planet but I sort of think he will.
DeleteA local college was having an MLK event so went to that. I always cry when I sing we shall overcome. Today I sobbed. Been singing that song for decades and still waiting.
ReplyDeleteOh god. I know.
Deleteunbearably depressed... thank goodness for making bears, reading on my kindle and watching Vera's goodbye documentary.... but NO inauguration !!
ReplyDeleteNope. No inauguration.
DeleteJust cannot watch any news - it breaks my heart. I thought you might like to know Ms Moon I’m going to the theatre tonight in Chichester to see a double bill of Terence Rattigan which they’ve entitled Summer 1954 as that is where we are being transported to. The Browning Version with Nathaniel Parker (swoon!) and Table No. 7 (taken from Separate Tables) with that grande dame of British theatre, Sian Phillips who must be about 80. About 20 years ago I acted in Separate Tables at my local am dram theatre and we had such fun doing it and I remember it was much less taxing than the musical theatre and pantomime I usually appeared in. I hope you enjoy and can lose yourself in pottery today. We have to remember that nothing lasts for ever and this too will pass. Thinking a bit more about Terence Rattigan (Flare Path, French Without Tears, The Deep Blue Sea) we must remember how far we have come from that repressive 1950s era when people were imprisoned in so many ways for many different reasons. Sarah in Sussex
ReplyDeleteI truly hope that you have (had?) a fabulous night at the theatre.
DeleteWe have come a very long way but if our new president and his cronies who came up with Project 2025 have their way, we'll be right back there.
Thankfully, we had a carpenter here with the noisiest saw possible cutting a window in our bathroom. This Trump business is sickening when you think that 49% of our fellow Americans put him here! But I refuse to waste my anger on him---will find a better use for all my energy, just not sure how yet. This morning on NPR Nashville I heard that our Tennessee legislators want to rename Nashville International airport to Trump International---it has started. If you have a way to cover your greens they will probably survive. Ours have and it was 9 degrees this morning. And one more thing that came to me yesterday---that hat on Melania's head reminded me of Zorro's hat. Haven't figured out the meaning of that yet. lol Take care, Phillis of Middle Tennessee.
ReplyDeleteHello, Phillis of Middle Tennessee!
DeleteTrump International, huh? Bite me. Wonder if they'll feel the same way in four years.
I've heard that Melania wore that hat to block anyone from kissing her, mostly her husband.
I really don't have a good way to cover my greens and it's not going to get THAT cold here. Just down to the mid-twenties. Which is still cold.
we puttered around the house, did two essential errands in 5 degree weather and then Tony played his games while I watched murder shows. I feel a weird funk as well. xxalainaxx
ReplyDeleteYeah. I bet. I've been listening to a murder book. Good distraction, right?
DeleteTriple Fuck - I want to put my head under the covers and pretend it's not happening, but that's not who I am. This is beyond outrageous, and sad, and unbelievable. I hope his supporters are happy because the rest of the intelligent, thinking world is crying.
ReplyDeleteMy mind wants me to hide under the covers but like you, I know that is not a good strategy.
DeleteIt IS some weird shit. I didn't watch any of it. I read about it, and saw the pictures, and that was enough for me.
ReplyDeleteMelania's hat was so strange. It's like she was deliberately hiding. Jimmy Kimmel, I think, called it her "border wall," which I thought was hilarious.
Maybe some chili flakes would liven up that soup? Dave made meatballs last night and complained they were bland, and I made the same suggestion to him. I guess they're my all-purpose solution to bland food. LOL
Yes. I've heard that Melania's hat was to prevent the Donald from kissing her. As hats go, it was fine but it just seemed a little weird for the inauguration. Jimmy Kimmel was right.
DeleteP.S. There were ground pepper flakes in it. Is that the same? It turned out to be plenty flavorful.
DeleteI spent my day ignoring the news, facilitated by a very good and outcomefull (is this even a word, needs to be) meeting I attended - we also had cake.
ReplyDeleteI did not watch, stayed off social media (mostly), worked on my painting, worried about the outdoor cats, read in my book. Woke up to fucking snow. It's still snowing. The few things I'm aware of, well, fucking of course. Read one post on Threads about a couple who prepaid $1700 for two hotel rooms with a no refund policy to take their daughters to see the Great White Rapist of a Felon get inaugurated, which Trump ha ha fuck you I'm moving it inside so I don't have to stand in the cold, and they are incensed that the hotel won't give them a refund, it's policy. We're not wealthy, had to charge it! "But policies are not inflexible laws that prevent you from being reasonable". Boy are they in for a big surprise. Leopard, meet face. And you know they were bitching about the price of eggs.
ReplyDeleteCodex: We took the day off. Didn't want to interact with anyone. Spouse's idea was to do a self care mental health day. It worked. Didn't watch to not give him the ratings. Lined up a bunch of sci-fi movies we had not seen yet. Cooked super healthy meals. I collaged and used stickers and washi tape. Basically brainless stuff that calms down. Briefly watched the highlights in the evening.
ReplyDeleteSaw the line up of stepford wives. The Martian high as a kite. Chuckled at the passive aggressive can't raise the flag because it's frozen. Turned it off, back to sci fi movies. We're going to do this more often, just to strengthen ourselves.
In case anyone is interested:
ReplyDeletehttps://bsky.app/profile/ronfilipkowski.bsky.social/post/3lg6wkafyuc27
Frightening.
Hugs to you. A writer friend of mine is meant to be doing a book tour in America - first, they were meant to land in LA but with the fires, that plan has changed - they were then going to fly into Houston but that is closed due to the weather - now they are going to fly into Chicago - its 18 celcius (64 farenheit) where she comes from over here, so quite cool - but she is heading into -17 celcius (1 farenheit) there. Good luck with getting through each and every day.
ReplyDeleteI was grateful to be in the air most of the day. In my mind I celebrated the great Martin Luther King and pretended nothing else was going on. Hugs!
ReplyDelete