Sunday, October 29, 2023

I'm THAT Grandmother

We had such a good time with our boy last night and this morning. While I was cooking supper, he and his Boppy were playing Wii games that they've been playing together since Owen was a little child. As I cooked pasta and made an Alfredo sauce, I could hear them laughing and yelling in excitement from the Glen Den. 
It made me so happy. 

While we ate, we watched a National Geographic special on Chichen Itza and recent findings from that site. It was fascinating and before we were done watching it, I'm sure that Owen was a tiny bit tired of us telling him, "We've seen that!" "We've been there!" "Boppy climbed all those steps!" "Look! It's the jade jaguar throne!" "Chac Mool! He's the rain god!"
Etc. 

As we watched, I was so grateful that we have seen at least that wonder of the world and I hoped with all of my heart that my grandchildren will get to see places of amazement too. 

After supper Owen and I talked about a lot of things. One of them was religion. He's been very influenced by his dad and other grandmother who take the kids to a church on Sundays. It's not really what you'd call an evangelical church- it's Lutheran- but it's a different sort of Lutheran church. I've been there two times. Once for a funeral and once for Owen's Baptism which Lily acceded to because it meant so much to Jason's mom and oh hell, why not? The church has a rock band and they sing praise songs and the spirit moves folks to stand up and put their arms in the air and close their eyes, and so forth. 
And I'm sure you know how I feel about all of this. 
The subject came up somehow related to communion and I, because I'm an asshole and because I am not afraid at all to tell the grandchildren what I think about religion, said something to the tune of, "And you know what communion is, right?"
And he said, "The body and blood of Jesus," and I said, "Yeah. Cannibalism."
Ooh boy. 
I should not have done that. If there's one thing I've learned in my many, many hours of listening to Mormon Stories podcast it's that if you present a believer with facts disproving their beliefs, the believer closes the door even tighter and holds their faith even closer. 
Oh well. He's fourteen years old and if he believes in a literal heaven and hell that's fine and he has a lot of time to figure out stuff on his own and there's nothing wrong with another adult in his life giving him a completely different viewpoint. 

But it ended fine and with a hug and a kiss and he took his shower and got in his bed and I'm pretty sure he was asleep within seconds. 

This morning of course I made pancakes and bacon. He kept thanking me for all of the "delicious foods" I'd made for him. I have to say that last night's supper was a feast. For sure. He and I talked more this morning but mostly about things we agree on like- we both hate milk. We talked about school a lot and he really likes his classes and is a bit surprised to find that he's quite good at math and science. His grades are terrific and he's taking all advanced classes. He is not thrilled with his Spanish teacher. 

So it was a very good visit and if he went away thinking that his Mer is a certified loon, well, I'm sure it's not the first time he's had that thought. He is just such a fine boy and he really does think and he really does care and he is kind. 

I've mostly spent the rest of the day just relaxing. There was nothing I had to do and so I didn't. I did finally get a pair of Mr. Moon's overalls mended. I've been working on that in short little bits for a month or more. 


I probably could have finished it in less than three hours if I'd just kept my butt on the couch and done it. But I didn't. While I finished up, I began watching a very sweet movie. I remember when I first saw the trailer of it quite a long time ago I thought, "I want to see that movie!" 


I'm about halfway through it and it's as sweet as it looked. 

I also finished listening to an audio book I started last week that thoroughly kept my attention. 


Excellently written characters and a story line that kept me involved. Terrific narrator. 

If you are triggered by hoarding disorder, probably not for you. If, however, you merely struggle as most of us do with letting things go but want to, helpful. 

I guess that's it. 

It's been a good weekend. 

Love...Ms. Moon

36 comments:

  1. I think your grandkids ... all of them ... are going to remember some of these specific chats you have had with them! I would think they appreciate your openness with them since the parents might be less forthcoming on some topics!

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    1. I'm sure their parents do talk to them but I think that Lily is probably less apt to challenge what Owen's learning at church than I am. I have no dog in this fight and do not need to worry about my relationship with the other grandmother as much as Lily does.

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  2. I don't know where my faith went, but it is well and truly gone. The thing I know is that I don't feel like it is my right to disparage anyone else's beliefs. Unless they are disparaging mine. Then it is game on.

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    1. Well, I don't usually either but I have seen some of the damage that religious beliefs can cause in kids and teens and I don't want my grandchildren to have to go through that.

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  3. yes, nothing wrong with another viewpoint from dear Mer...something Owen can figure out on his own as he matures....... we all do/ did that, didn't we? Your time with him is precious..... for all of you.
    Susan M

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    1. I did suggest he read the Bible for himself. I doubt, however, that he will.

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  4. I'm glad you all had such a good time.

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  5. Well, communion IS cannibalism.. symbolically, anyway...and there's no denying it. Thank goodness at least one adult in his life can be a voice of reason when it comes to religion. I don't trust churches not to heavily indoctrinate young teenagers and I'm sorry but it's NOT good for them. No offense to Owen's dad or other grandmother, of course, but damn. :(

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    1. Yep. Jesus says, "This is my body, this is my blood."
      Which would be cannibalism.
      Churches absolutely do try to indoctrinate children and teens. They are ripe for that sort of thing when their emotions are so heightened already. And you are absolutely correct- it is NOT good for them.

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  6. And over the course of his life he will say things that literally take the words from your mouth. And you will say more things that startle him. And you will go on as before, but with the new thoughts considered in your minds.
    My father and I were discussing the Kent State Shootings, back when they happened. My dad, an Army veteran, said the students did not follow orders. I responded "They did nothing to die for." Weeks, months later my dad said, "Daughter, I have been thinking of what you said, and you are right, they did nothing to die for."
    And so it goes.

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    1. That was truly something for your dad to say that to you. And you WERE right. It's like when cops kill Black guys and everyone says, "They shouldn't have run," or something equally stupid. Well, whatever, but bottom line is- cops aren't supposed to be out there making instant decisions on who gets the death penalty.

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  7. He sounds like a thoughtful young man. He's going to be just fine, and figure out what he needs to. Including the fact that everyone doesn't believe the same things, and that's okay.

    I see that that dear old Mrs 'Arris underwent accent washing and is now presented with the H she never used. Paul Gallico would come back and haunt the prissy little people who did this. I knew someone who insisted on referring to mysteries as whodidits. Probably related. I hope they've left her asperity intact, anyway.

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    1. The Paul Gallico book is wonderful and spun off several others as Mrs. 'Arris went to other countries. The movie is also fun.
      Cheers

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    2. Oh no! Boud, I hate to hear that the movie does not reflect the book the way it should. Her accent was fairly heavy although of course I have no idea what part of the country that accent was supposed to represent. To me, it sounds like what I would probably say (out of ignorance) is Cockney.

      And Peter- I think I should read the book.

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    3. She's definitely a cockney in every way!

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  8. I believe children should be taught about all religions and then be allowed to make an informed decision but that isn't how religions work, is it? It's indoctrination and preying on insecurities.
    Your grandkids will have wonderful memories of fun times, good food and interesting conversations. And one day something might go "ping" in their brains and things will all make sense.

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    1. Yes, I am hoping that at some point the three being taken to church will think, "Whoa! Mer was right! This is bullshit!"

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  9. Owen looks so tall. Glad you had a good visit with some religious debate. Be interesting to see howt hat develops in the future. Did he eat any of rhe English ginger dark chocolate covered biscuits. Is the name Border or something? From the North if so they are my fave I try not to eat biscuits T1 Diabetic but those are glorious. Thankfully unlike mushy peas (lol) you can only buy them in certain shops here. Love from across the Pond Maggi xxxx

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    1. He did like the cookies, Maggi, and they were indeed Borders brand! Publix carries them. And mushy peas too. Which I have not yet tried.

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  10. it doesn't sound like the Lutheran I remember, but I never went to church anyway, just a few Sundays at Sunday School I think Mum just wanted us out of the house. But if the Church has changed and moved with the times to get bums on seats, good for them. I just hope they are voluntary bums not forced to go there bums.
    Owen will sort out his own mind in his own good time and meanwhile it's good for him to learn many differing points of view.

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    1. It is good for him to learn differing points of view but it's NOT good to be indoctrinated which is what those churches do.
      And yeah- this is a different sort of Lutheran church. More evangelical.

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  11. I must admit when I moved to the States I was shocked by the fact that so many people went to church (my ex's family were all strong churchgoers). In fact, one of the first questions I was asked was which church I went to so I answered honestly and said none (not sure what they made of that). We had our oldest christened there because I knew it meant a lot to my MIL but I refused with our youngest because we were already living in France and I felt it was hypocritical since we didn't go to church. When I was growing up in England I didn't know anyone who went to church. Oh I'm sure people did go but I just didn't know anyone, so religion of any kind has never figured large in my life. Oddly enough my ex used to blame me for the fact that he never went to church, but now he's back in the States eight years and still doesn't go, I wonder who he's blaming now!

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    1. Haha! Your ex is probably blaming god. Or something.
      I think you're right about the hypocrisy- I know people who do go to church and take their kids even though they don't believe any of it because it's "good" for the children to be raised in religion.
      Just another way to fuck kids up if you ask me.

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  12. Perhaps you have at least made the boy question religion and not follow it simply because his parents do. If he is doing well in math and science I suspect that those two disciplines will provoke questions. Hard to believe that a right-wing religionist is now two steps away from the presidency of the United States.

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    1. I hope you're right about Owen. And his mother does not go to church. Just his dad and other grandmother. I also think you're right about math and science. Owen is still very young.
      Unfortunately, it is not hard at all for me to believe that our new Speaker of the House is a religious nut job who thinks his god talks to him. I just don't exactly know how we got here.

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  13. I'm very intrigued by hoarding so I might look into that book! I think it's fine for kids to be exposed to religion and gather some knowledge and experience in that vein. I went to church regularly as a kid and it didn't kill me. In fact, I enjoyed the community of it. But it was a mainline Protestant church, not one of those arm-waving places.

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    1. The book gave me some insights that I had not had before and made me more empathetic for those with the disorder.
      Yeah. I would not be so upset about this church thing if it were just a regular old Presbyterian church or something. Even a regular Lutheran church! But this one is evangelical.

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  14. Being an honest grandmother is the best. I was raised by two people who had a very low opinion of organised religion. My father was always very outspoken about that. For a while, two years or so, when I was a teenager I decided I wanted to be a Baptist because my best friend was one and they had these amazing summer camps with swimming in lakes and bonfires and good looking guys playing guitars. My father tolerated this with clenched teeth for a while but eventually would lecture me or drop remarks that I just shrugged off the way you do at that age. But today I value what he did, his concern.

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    1. Thank you for that insight, Sabine. I appreciate it. I respect your father for allowing you to go to the summer camps and so on while obviously not happy at all about the religion.

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  15. I was raised Catholic and so were my kids but now most of us have given that up as the rules and ridiculous teachings and hypocrisy of it all was realized. I think my ex is still religious and my youngest son's wife but the rest of us walked away in our own time when we each decided it made no sense to us. Owen will figure out what works best for him, he's smart!

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    1. You're right- Owen is a thinking person, as are Gibson and Maggie. I swear I do believe that some people have a gene that makes them religious and able to accept the crap that comes with their faith of choice. I hope none of the kids have it.

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  16. surely Owen knows your opinion of religion by now. I'd have had to explain to him that the stories attributed to Jesus were old old old, that the holidays were just recycled pagan celebrations, that communion is cannibalism, that religion is repressive, that the only sin is using religion to disenfranchise people you don't like. Autumn asked me about god once when she was about Owen's age. I think I told her that maybe god was dreaming and we, the universe, were the dream. there have been other conversations over the years. None of the grandkids are religious. the girls identify as jewish as opposed to christian because that's how they were raised but it's more an identity that a belief.

    Anyway, you done good. Owen needs a rational mind to counter the bs of religion.

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    1. Yes. Poor Owen- he was trying so hard to come back to the things I said with rational arguments and I was not having it. I'm too old for that shit. I like what you said to Autumn.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.