Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Cher, Darlin'. Let's Talk.

She's sixty-two.
Now. Is this get-up a beautiful and wicked fuck you to all the ageists?
Or is it....hmmm, slightly bizarre and freaky?
Or is it just damn wrong?
I'm having a hard time deciding. Part of me wants to say, "You go, girl!"
And part of me wants to say, "Oh, honey. Give it a rest."
I just keep thinking about all the surgery, the make-up, the wigs, the effort entailed in her being able to put this on and go onstage. I think about what she must look like after the wig is off, the make-up washed from her face and the body-suit and leather jacket stored in their trunk. Does she put on an old kimono, her real face tired and wrinkled and sit down to a nice bowl of Fiber One?
I remember years and years ago I would get really stoned and watch the Sonny and Cher Show and I would be mesmerized by the beauty that was Cher. Her face was all angles and big nose and cheekbones and she laughed at herself and there was so much realness there.

Well. I do know this- I'm pretty glad I don't get stoned anymore.

But what do you think? Daddy Billy, I especially want to hear your thoughts although there is the serious possibility that you will be so stunned with delight that you won't be able to type, so drunk with joy that you won't be able to copy your verification word. So joyous of heart that you'll find yourself floating on the ceiling, a goofy grin on your face, your beautiful real face.

54 comments:

  1. I think the outfit is tacky at any age. She'd be even more beautiful in something elegantly sexy.

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  2. Yea, it sort of smacks of insanity and pathos. Too bad.

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  3. Yeah, bitch needs to hang it up and quit while she's ahead. She so clearly has other good aspects to her, like her personality, blunt honesty, sense of humor, and her wit. Substance lasts, beauty is fleeting, goddamn it.

    Sad thing is, I'm only 40, and my ass would never look as good in that costume as hers does at 62.

    Sigh.

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  4. I love Cher, but she's freakin me out these days.

    I'd like to have seen her and beautiful woemn like her age naturally, and allow that to be seen as beautiful. Like Lieutenant Uhura!

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  5. i think aging gracefully and naturally is beautiful. being plastic and so stiff you cannot show expression is not...

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  6. I'm with the others...I think natural beauty and something elegantly sexy would be much more effective.

    I was thinking really stoned sounded kind of good. Or maybe just pleasantly stoned. If I wasn't pregnant, of course. But then once I was I would probably find it not so pleasant. *SIGH* Maybe if I could just travel back to my stoner days for a 3 hour tour...Yeah, I think that would be nice...

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  7. aw hell, I've worn worse to publix!

    And have you been to the Paradise for happy hour lately? Much worse, much sadder, but damn! the beers are cheap.

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  8. I think there's a difference between aging gracefully and being sexually overt for attention. Now it's more like she's taking it to extremes for attention rather than trying to remain youthful and full of life.

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  9. You know, Cher, like Dolly Parton or Madonna, was just never going to be your average woman. At what point did you expect her to hang up the Bob Mackie and go, "Oh, bring me a nice gown and a pair of flats"? Stage Cher is akin to a drag queen - it doesn't matter what she looks like on the street - slather on the make up, hoist them tits, cram that rear into an insane outfit, and get the hell out of her way! Tacky? Yes. Aging gracefully? No. But someone has to do it! Old male stars father babies at 65 or star in movies alongside 20 year olds. Old female stars are expected to pull off the Susan Sarandon "hot for her age, but respectable" method of getting older. But what if that's not what she wants? What if she wants to flaunt her ass in a crazy outfit until she can't stand up to do it any more?

    Heck, look at Tina Turner - that woman is 70, and she's still on stage in a skin tight gold outfit or flashing those amazing thighs. Now, granted, Tina still just looks amazing and even at her tackiness never wore, well, Cher's outfit up there, but you know what I mean.

    Not everyone has to age with grace and dignity. Some follow a slightly tackier path, and I say, god bless her. You show off that ass as long as you want, Cher, and I will salute you for it!

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  10. HAHAHAHAHA

    My opinion:

    Life is short. Live it in a way that makes you happy. If Cher is happy with that outfit, and truly enjoys those wigs and the joy of being on stage, then I say, "You go girl!" If she's not happy with it, then definitely give it a rest and find something you like doing BETTER.. and do that. Seems as though she enjoys it though, and who am I to tell someone what does or does not make them happy? Only she knows that.. :)

    Life is too short to care about what other people think.. YOU GO CHER! ROCK OUR FACES OFF!

    And you too Ms. Moon. YOU GO GIRL! You can even start going around in wigs if it makes you feel better. OFF STAGE.

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  11. Is DTG married/taken? I'm not asking for myself of course ;) it's just that his comments are always so freaking awesome. Has some lucky someone snatched that boy up?

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  12. I dunno DTG. My thoughts were not so much that middle aged women need to suddenly start dressing demure and wearing twinsets.

    But that somehow there could be a better, more real and organic kind of sexuality to grow into, rather than a haul-your-tits-up-botox-your-face-off-pretend-you're-twenty sort of thing she's doing.

    I love how your mom works her tanktop, my mother would have done similar in her fifties. If Cher had allowed herself to look 65, I think she would have been beautiful, but now I think she looks kinda freaky.

    That outfit always looked crappy though, you have to give her that!

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  13. Oh, absolutely. I'm not talking about what looks good. I'm talking about the fact that Cher appears to LOVE dressing this way, and who am I to say she should embrace her age in another way? Maybe she'd feel self-conscious and out of place in a tank top and overalls. Maybe she doesn't care about what makes her look age-appropriately sexy to other people. Maybe she just feels like being Cher, with all the glitter and godawful fashion that entails, until she can't get on stage any more.

    You can look at that picture and extrapolate out and make it into a comment on how women feel compelled to age in this society. Or you can look at it and see one particular woman, a woman named Cher, who has spent a lifetime wearing crazy 7 foot feathered headdresses and pants that are little more than a leather g-string and a pair of capri chaps.

    I prefer not to judge anyone else's behavior by the individual or the individual by what might be best for the majority. There has to be a far edge to the line of what is appropriate. And as long as that edge runs up the crack of Cher's ass, I think we're all a little safer in our own choices.

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  14. welllll...that getup is sad just plain tacky....that being said she looks pretty hot and why the hell not?!!! It's not like she is known for her great fashion sense lol

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  15. ditto to steph's comment...downtown guy's comments are always pretty freakin' cool! he must have a pretty cool mama hehehehe

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  16. Honestly, nasty.

    Fake, and beauty and sexiness is not fake.

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  17. You know, it is certainly not what I would wear at 62, but I wouldn't wear that now or, well, ever. But, that's Cher. She's one ballsy woman. And I'll be damned if her body isn't still fucking amazing.

    But, no, it would not be to my taste. I think she would look sexier in something else, but I really never got into the leather-jackets-and-fishnet-thong-combos.

    What I do want to say is that I forgot what a really amazing actress Cher was/is. I saw Witches of Eastwick recently, and despite the movie being dumber than all hell, she rocked her performance. Need to have a Cher marathon, I think.

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  18. Lady Lemon - If you have that marathon, I recommend the movie Mermaids. And Moonstruck, of course. Good stuff.

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  19. Rachel- Do you remember the original video she wore that in? She got whole damn US Navy in trouble. Or maybe it was the Army. Whatever.

    Petit Fleur- It sort of does to me, too.

    Ms. Bastard- Anyone's ass looks better in a tight sparkly body suit.

    Ms. Jo- Well, she's not exactly normal and I guess we wouldn't expect her to go gently into that good night.

    CMe- I hate botox. It's so weird.

    JustMe- It used to be fun. Not any more. For me, anyway.

    Magnum- You have NOT! And no, I never go to Happy Hour. Anywhere. Happy Hour is right here on my porch. The beers are even cheaper.
    And I can wear my overalls.

    Erin- There is that.

    DTG- You are wise and you are right. Cher can do whatever she wants because she is Cher. And we're not. And that line about the edge running up the crack of Cher's ass is freaking worth a million bucks. I have to say though, there is just something very different about Cher and Tina. Tina doesn't age. She just gets more seasoned and strong.

    AJ- No wigs for me. I hate them. Plus, I have hair of my own.
    But you're right about her rockin' it as long as she wants.

    Steph- He has a very nice girlfriend. Of course. She's cute as hell, too.

    Ms. Jo- Didn't Cher wear overalls in Witches of Eastwick?

    Ms. Bliss- You're right about that.

    XBox- Another man's opinion.

    Lady Lemon- I LOVE the Witches of Eastwick. Dang. That movie is amazing. And you are right- Cher is great in it. She was also wonderful in Moonstruck. I don't think she'd be as good an actress now though because her face can't show emotion.

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  20. Yes, all the Botox may have affected her skills. Sigh.

    Mermaids is my fave Cher movie of ALL!

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  21. she says with a tone of disgust...
    ;-)

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  22. Xbox- NEVER! Not for my darling XBox. No, I was referring to the fact that all you fellas have such differing opinions whereas most of the women are more of the same mind.

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  23. heh, I dunno, I'd wager most fella would agree about her there.

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  24. Also, don't knock getting stoned! It's a fabulous pass time in my opinion. Heh heh.

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  25. And Mask! You can't forget Mask, though it's a sad one.

    (Also, y'all are making me blush some.)

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  26. XBox- Well, I certainly can't speak for the fellas.

    Lady Lemon- If you got 'em, smoke 'em.
    Wish I did enjoy it.

    DTG- Heh-heh. I remembered Mask but I couldn't bring myself to mention it. That make-up they did on Mask Boy ruined that movie for me.

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  27. DTG - I bet yer cute when you blush. :P

    Go remind that girlfriend of yours how lucky she is.

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  28. I choose to see these 27 comments, so far, as a testament to Cher. I think she's done exactly what she set out to do. Here we all are discussing her, right?

    DTG seems to be fashioning a legacy of his own. Complete with blushing.

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  29. All right! You guys quit flirting with my son!
    (Nah. Not really. He IS cute when he blushes.)

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  30. Steph: I would, but she's in school in DC. But she'll be here on the 20th, to stay a month! I'm an excited guy.

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  31. I know! I really need to clean my house!

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  32. That doesn't take 8 days does it? :D

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  33. It might! Just for the bathroom.

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  34. wait now, Just WAIT, everyone does realize that's a picture of Cher in the late 80's right? That was...20 damn years ago! AND in the 80's AND Cher! Did I mention the 80's? It was weird for most everyone.

    I'm sure she's rockin' a Snuggie now anyway, with cutouts in all the right places!

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  35. Magnum: http://www.thesun.co.uk
    /sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre
    /usa/article2423030.ece

    "The 62-year-old singer appeared in a skintight, transparent body suit almost identical to the one she famously wore on her concert tour 17 years ago."

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  36. I just checked in and saw you had 37 comments!! You're reaching record high numbers with Cher and all this flirting with your son today :) :) Too funny!

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  37. SJ- I know! I pour my heart out about my body image and get like, what? eight comments. Then I throw up a little thing with a picture of Cher and the comments go through the roof. Oh. And the flirting-with-Downtown-Guy thing.
    Lesson learned: Give the people what they want.

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  38. Well, it's easy to talk about Cher. She's so far removed from our lives, there's no fear of exposing ourselves.

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  39. DTG- And Billy hasn't even commented yet. I wonder if the cable guy ever got to his house today?

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  40. I'm just messin with ya now Ms. Moon. I think this is what used to be called a Comment Orgy back in the Old Days.

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  41. Steph- Comment orgy? That's great.

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  42. Isnt this picture about 20 years old?
    But, if you've got it - flaunt it!

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  43. Cher's ass has never seemed very interesting to me till Hank explained how the edge of appropriateness runs right up the crack of it!

    That did crack me up!

    Brilliant.

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  44. DTG, saw it, wow, it's tough for Cher at 62 to look as good as all the drag queens at 40.

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  45. And who is this woman about whom you speak?

    I am jsut kidding; I knew who it was, didn't like the outfit back i nthe day and still don't, but what the heck? We all put forth a public image vs a private one. Usually not so obviously but still. :)

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  46. Soon, Cher herself will leave a comment on this very popular post. I'm impressed!


    Of course, the word verification is "failed" so ,who knows?

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  47. as much as i love cher in every way, shape, form, fashion, age, outfit, etc....i must say that i really prefer the sonny and cher show cher. before so much plastic surgery and pinching and pulling made her look how she does today. not that i'm not EXTREMELY attracted to her now (grin) i just like the more real look she had goin then. sometimes i have to just look at my cher doll in her bob mackie half breed outfit and sigh. and i don't make out with that doll, no matter what anyone tells you.

    daddy b

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  48. them's fightin words folks! everybody knockin cher can suck it! that outfit is awesome, she is awesome, and that's just how things go. don't make me get out my cher farewell tour dvd and make everyone watch it, 'cause i will. oh and just so you know, i put the sumbitch on repeat and hide the remote. ask downtownguy if you think i'm kidding.

    daddy b

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  49. He is so completely not kidding.

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  50. Daddy B! I love you and I believe you! Please don't make me watch the DVD.
    Oh hell. I would if you wanted me to. That's how much I love you.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.