Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Being Gay Is Not Evil. Unless You're A Politician.

Hey Charlie! Show us that wedding ring! That substantial band of gold which proves you're not a closeted homosexual. That Florida's own formerly dashing, preternaturally tanned bachelor-governor is as manly as any good Republican. Larry Craig included.

There's a new film coming out called Outrage which purports to have interviews with men who have had relationships (or at least sex) with politicians who have voted strongly against gay rights including marriage and adoption, who stand up in front of their constituents and promise to uphold traditional family values while living another life, a secret life, entirely.
Now if you know me at all you know that I am as supportive of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people to have every right that us heteros have as any one could be. This is not about that. If these politicians were open about their god-given orientation, I would say, "Go out and have all the sex you want with anyone you want. Not my business."
But when they refuse to admit who they are and hide the truth, it IS my business.

Why?
For several reasons.
One is that I like to be able to vote on a candidate based on at least some modicum of knowing who he or she is. And if someone is gay and doesn't come out with that fact, if, in fact, they get married to an opposite-sex person days before being short-listed to become a VP candidate during a presidential election, then there's a whole lot of denying the truth of who he or she is.
Now since Mr. Crist is a Republican, there's not a snowball's chance in hell I'd vote for him anyway (to be perfectly honest myself) but still- a lot of people did vote for him who would not have if they'd known he was gay.

Which is disturbing but- dammit! If these personable, smart people would come out and say, "Look, I'm gay. I'm still a Republican, I'm still a good person," then perhaps the bigots would have to start changing their perception of what gay is. Instead, the whole issue is hidden and whispered about and treated like it's evil and the bigotry is allowed to go on. The subject is allowed to be ignored.

Mr. Crist's closeted lifestyle didn't bother me so much until he got married. That's when it really began to irk me. All this Republican talk about family values and here's a man in a completely sham marriage (I would assume) that has far less honesty and real love in it than a marriage between two people of the same sex who actually love each other enough to make that commitment honestly. While at the same time, denying those same-sex people the right to have a real marriage.
Or adopt children.
This is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I really wasn't even going to write about this until I saw that picture in the newspaper this morning with Charlie flashing that ring.
And you know what? I could be wrong. The makers of Outrage could be wrong. Perhaps Mr. Crist is as straight as an arrow, as hetero as Mickey Rooney, and I'm slandering him.

And perhaps Larry Craig just has a wide stance.

We've got an African-American president now. Or at least a man of color. Fifty years ago that would have been unthinkable. I am so proud of my country for finally getting past the prejudice which has enslaved us all for all these years and picking the most obviously qualified guy for the job.
And for all I know, we've had a gay president before. I wouldn't be surprised. But unlike being black, a person can hide being gay. And it makes me cringe to think that it's still something people feel they have to do to get elected. To be respected.

It just shouldn't matter. But in hiding the truth, these men are making it matter in a way that strikes me as plain old wrong. Hypocritical, dishonest and wrong. And it serves to shine a very bright light on the prejudices we still have because when these men become outed, as they are apt to be here in the age of cameras in cell-phones and outraged film makers, they find themselves in the million-watt spotlight of the media.

And they're standing there alone, having eschewed the support of the GLBT community by denying their part in it. And having also eschewed the support of people like me who would have respected them mightily for saying "I'm gay, get over it. Vote for me or don't but base your decision on my politics, not my sexuality."

And the worst part, the very worst part is that when these things come out (so to speak), it's all shameful and a scandal and reinforces, once again, the belief that homosexuality is evil and something which must be hidden whereas if the subject had been honestly dealt with from the very beginning, there would have been respect and support and integrity.
It is not evil to be gay. Or lesbian or bisexual or transgendered.
Just as women and people of color can and do achieve high office, so can gay people. Look at Barney Frank. He's as scrappy a politician you'll ever want to encounter and he's so out he takes his partner to White House functions.
HIM I respect.
HIM I admire.

Those poor guys who get busted having sex with other guys standing up there in the glare of the cameras with their shamed wives beside them trying to wiggle their way out of the obvious- those I do not respect or admire. They are only making things worse. Not just by voting against the rights that all citizens should have, regardless of their sexual orientation, but for being so self-hating, so sure that their sexual orientation would prevent them from being elected to public office that they have denied one of the most basic facts about themselves.

Look. It's no sin to be gay. It's okay.
But the longer our gay elected officials clothe themselves in the banner of straightness, hide behind heterosexual marriage and big old wedding rings, the longer it's going to take for a lot of people to get the message that being gay is just part of the wonderful diversity of humans.

Okay. That's my speech for today. I'm stepping off the soapbox now.

Feel free to step up and speak your piece.

Wordless Wednesday? Not here at blessourhearts. There's too much to say for that.

12 comments:

  1. There is too much to say for that...

    Everything that needs to be said on the subject seems to have been said [nice work,] but *I* haven't said it, so here's all I have to say, :)

    We're on the precipice with equality. Dismissing someone for being gay is the last legal form of discrimination in our country. The military is allowed to discharge you for "homosexual conduct" and in several states you can be "let go" from your job on the same accounts.

    Thankfully the House just passed the Matthew Shepherd Act which adds gender, gender identity, sexuality, and disability to the motivated hate crime list. This surpasses any scattered state laws, and adds another step in the right direction.

    Unfortunately, we have so far to go when it comes to changing *minds* and *hearts*.

    If we look at the facts, The Civil Rights Act of 1964 [thank Jesus for Kennedy] gave full rights to African Americans, as well as women, LEGALLY. That didn't change minds and hearts right away. Ask any black man, any white woman, and any black woman. Discrimination is still alive in so many places and in so many ways, but we have come a long way since July 2, 1964.

    If it has taken us over 40 years to finally accept and embrace our African American President, then we can know and judge correctly by understanding that equal rights for the LGBTQA community will not happen over night.

    This recent outrage is another example of why minds and hearts need to be changed, and another reason our country MUST represent equality for every citizen. Not just those of choice. It is not about sin or science, it is about living EQUALLY in the "free-est" country on earth.

    Thanks for posting this. Very much.

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  2. Ms. Moon and AJ wrote so well that I'll just say 'damn right, good job!'

    I believe that we (the US) will get there, but it will take time and perseverance.

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  3. why do you assume that these men who have sex with men don't also want to have sex with women? Bisexuality does exist...they aren't necessarily in a sham marriage.

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  5. Sigh. Yes, Ms. Moon, you are so right.

    Sadly, there are still lots and lots of people (many of my coworkers, for example) that think that homosexuality is indeed very much a sin and this biased thinking forms a huge barrier when it comes to passing laws that grant equal rights.

    And in almost every voting district, coming out publicly as gay is still political suicide (Barney Frank is very much the exception, and not the rule).

    But as AJ said, I think we are moving in that direction, its just a slooooow process. In the next 10-20 years I expect to see huge changes.

    But, for the time being I will relate this sad tale. I asked my co-worker the other day what she thought of gay marriage, on a whim. "I think they're all going straight to hell!", she said in complete seriousness and without an ounce of shame.

    Sigh.

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  6. AJ- I agree with everything you said. Thanks for saying it.

    Steph- Yep.

    Ms. Eden- Of course you're right. It was just the ridiculous timing of this marriage. Days before it was announced that the gov was on the short list for McCain's VP pick. Of course, we know how that turned out.

    Lady Lemon- I'm so sorry you have to work in such an environment.

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  7. Gay or not? He only knows, but he sure does suck.

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  8. I couldn't have said it better myself, Ms. Moon. Thank you. I agree whole-heartedly.

    Love,

    SB

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  9. I just linked to your post on my blog, Ms. Moon. I hope it's okay.

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  10. Can we go back to talking about Cher? haha!

    Good rant. I was raising my eyebrow when he got married too.

    He's always given me the creeps. Not to mention he has killed a lot of men on the row and will kill many more if he stays in office. Nice.

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  11. PS Good one SB. I agree 100% He does SUCK.

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  12. Magnum- You're bad. Really, really bad.

    Ms. Bastard- Why, thank-you! I am honored!

    Ms. Fleur- No. I think I've said all I need or want to say about Cher for now. Maybe later, though.

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