Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Things That Grow REAL Fast


All right. Forget all that esoteric cosmic shit.

Let's talk about the chickens.

Here is one of them. Today. Right now. As you can see, this bird is already developing wings. They are all developing wings. If you throw a bug in with them, they go for it but Mabel (Maynard?) kicks the other chicks out of his/her way and gets it. That is one aggressive bird.

I have a strong feeling that in about two days I'm going to wake up to find that they've all grown so much overnight that they're wedged into their cage together, unable to move, their fat little chicken bodies pushing out through the wires of their cage, and they'll be crying, "Help me! Help me! Get me out of here!"

Mr. Moon better get busy. That coop is not building itself.

And speaking of things which do not get done by themselves and which grow in scary, preternatural, horror-movie sorts of ways, I offer this picture:


My naughty children did not go out and kick bamboo on Sunday as I instructed them to do, leaving this for me to go out and kick myself.

They were too busy oohing and ahhing over biddies and eating collard greens to do their mother's bidding and let me just say this:

You're not too big to spank.
With a bamboo shoot.
Love you!
Mama

19 comments:

  1. Those chicks are soon to be chickens and that's a fact, Jack! They are so lovely! Ohhhh....I'm filled with admiration and maybe just a wee bit of envy. When my OWN children are completely potty trained we will get us some chickens and maybe a rabbit....

    Get on it, Mr. Moon!

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  2. Whoa, those chickens are growing like weeds! And it''s true, we were too busy going, "Who has an egg in the green cup?" to kick bamboo.

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  3. Small world, we get the same bamboo sprouting up in our back lawn too!

    I love kicking them.

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  4. My friend's grandaughter befriends all the new little bamboo shoots in her yard. She pets them on top of the "head" and talks baby talk to them. Very cute, indeed.

    I didn't know about bamboo kicking. Sounds a lot nicer than cow tipping.

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  5. Ms. Trouble- Yes. If I were you, I'd wait until the children are potty trained. Too much poop can just be the final straw, whether chicken's or child's. And yes, bamboo kicking can be fun and it doesn't disturb the bamboo shoot, it merely kills it. And their little points do look like heads with funny hair.

    DTG- Yep. You were.

    XBox- We have the same frogs, the same bamboo- are you SURE you live in the Netherlands? What language do your neighbors speak?

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  6. fat plump little chickens stuffed with ham and gorgonzola...
    oh, you named these, right.

    Watch 'em though and fence 'em in; them things will destroy a garden in no time at all.

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  7. Dang that was FAST! Maybe I can get Marc to help with the coop construction... but it will have to be next week because he's traveling for work this weekend.

    Harley and I will bring bugs. Yummy!

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  8. How did you get bamboo in the first place? Did you plant it? Was it there when you bought the place? Would it grow as unwieldily (SO not a word) in a dryer climate? Must. know. more.

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  9. Crap, forgot the bamboo!

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  10. Pregnant Mommy's can back out of anything! It's part of the fun of pregnancy. You're excused.

    Now the rest of the gang...?

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  11. My neighbors have chickens and we go over and watch them grow- great fun!

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  12. Magnum- Yeah. We aren't going to let them run the yard until the garden is all fenced in. They're going to have a pretty nice run off the coop, though.

    Ms. Fleur- I'm sure Mr. Moon will get that thing cranked out pretty quickly. We're going to owe y'all some eggs from all the salvage.

    Steph- The bamboo was here when we bought the place. There are several types of bamboo and some runs and some clumps. The clumping kind is supposedly less apt to take over the universe. That is not the kind we have. Thus, the kicking. Once you kick over the sprout, it won't grow there that year. It'll try again next year though. If you want to know if it'll grow in your area, try going to a nursery and asking them. They should know.
    But get the clumping kind. Really.

    Lily- That's okay. Daddy and I just love to kick bamboo. But there's more if you want to come back and kick some yourself!

    Sally Moon- They're funny little critters, aren't they?

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  13. Ok, well, I really did go out there and kick over the bamboo, I just got distracted by my quest to find bugs for the chicks to get that far out. If you look closer to your office you should notice that the bamboo is not growing, or at least they are small. Hehe, I love you too!

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  14. HoneyLuna- You're a good girl, you are. I dug up that office bamboo today.
    It's small but tenacious.

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  15. Aren't the chickens going to eat the bamboo? Mable is a BOY?! So wait, let me get this straight, the black one is a rooster... Now all we need is two white kittens and the joke is complete. Perfect.

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  16. Oo, Triffids!

    I told you Mabel was evil.

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  17. Miss Maybelle- Why is it that the joke is always on me?

    Ms. Jo- Thank-you for reminding me what these chickens remind me of.

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  18. hahahahahaha

    "You're not too big to spank!"

    lol

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  19. AJ- Maybe I should have said, "You're not too OLD to spank" because really, they are too big.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.