Snake Spit Is Really Slick

If you find that image distasteful, DO NOT LOOK ANY FARTHER I MEAN IT AND YOU BETTER NOT SUE ME FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGES BECAUSE I WARNED YOU!
Okay?

So I went out to check for eggs. I have not been getting my full bounty and I know it. I suspected our snake but I haven't seen hide nor scale of her lately since I saw her in the front yard, headed across the street.
But when I checked a nest this afternoon, that picture above is what I saw.
Okay. I was PISSED OFF!
DAMMIT!

Mr. Moon of course was not at home and even more importantly the new camera's batteries had JUST been put in the charger.
What to do?
I grabbed the old camera and a small ice chest. I was just about to pick up the pitchfork when I heard the family whistle. Do you have a family whistle? We do. There are two notes to it and it means "I'm here. Where are you?" My granddaddy used to whistle those two notes to announce his arrival at our house when I was a kid.
Anyway, it was like some sort of miracle to hear that whistle because I knew it was my knight in shining armor, my husband, the birthday boy himself, Mr. Moon!

"Get out here right now!" I shouted and he came and saw and said, "That's not the same snake. That's a baby."
"You're right," I said. "What are we going to do?"
We being a completely false use of the word as I knew that really, there was no way in hell I was going to do anything with a pitchfork and a snake. I swear I was going to try though, until he got home.

To make a long story short, he picked up the snake and chopped its damn head off and I don't feel bad about that either. Damn snakes can't be eating our eggs.

As soon as he picked up the snake, the egg got dropped. That egg was really too large for that snake but he sure was giving it a try.

I didn't want to touch a snake-spat-upon egg so I got it into an old can and took it into the house to wash. It was Miss Betty's egg, by the way.
I discovered, upon washing it, that snake spit, as the title of this little piece indicates, is extremely slick and slippery which I am sure aids the process of getting the snake's head and throat down over that egg. As with so many things in life, patience, determination and the proper lubrication will get the job done.

All right. Here's the picture. Don't sue me. I warned you.

That is an actual egg in an actual snake's mouth. The egg is now in my refrigerator and the snake is in two pieces and flung over the fence into the woods.

Mr. Moon is taking a bit of a nap before we go out.
Yeah. He's the coolest.
You should have seen him pulling that snake by the tail when it was trying to escape. I kept yelling, "You're so brave! You're so brave!"

And he is.
My hero. Mr. Moon.

Now to get that big son-of-a-bitching snake.

Life in Lloyd. It's never boring.

Adventures In Babysitting

Damn. It's been an exciting day in Lloyd. I mean- TWO BABIES!

And then there was the snake in the hen house. That damn snake. It's the same one. He keeps coming back and he's eating my eggs! I only collected two eggs the other day and I wondered what in hell was going on. Well, it's an egg-eatin' oak snake and that son-of-a-bitch is pissing me off.
Lily and the boys and I were outside feeding the chickens and before we went in we went to get eggs and there he was, draped over the laying boxes like he owned the joint.

He's a handsome fellow but come on! Eat rats, ya damn bastard and leave my eggs alone!

Lily, for some reason, transformed before my eyes into Zena, Warrior Princess, handed me Owen and grabbed the pitchfork. She opened the little door at the back of the box and pushed him out with the handle of the pitchfork; meanwhile, I stood there not believing she was doing it. She WAS going to grab him with a gloved hand ("I see this all the time on the Discovery Channel- I can do it!") but when glove came to snake, she opted not to.

I was stunned that she did what she did but I shouldn't have been. Lily is a force of nature.

After the snake dropped out of the box Lily coaxed him into heading back into the woods. He'll be back, dammit. I know he will. Either Mr. Moon is going to have to get him in some sort of container and carry him to a distant place or else he's going to have to kill him and I don't really want him to do that. Snakes like that one are not a threat to humans and are lovely in their snake way.
But he cannot keep stealing my eggs. No way.
As Lily once said here when a bat was flying around the bathroom as she was trying to get ready to go to work at 5 a.m., "Too much nature!"
Sometimes it feels that way, anyway.

The yellow flies are driving me insane.

I did not take that picture and I won't be posting a picture I personally took because I'm not letting one of those motherfuckers stay on me long enough to focus. They bite and take blood like a mosquito but their stings swell and itch enough to drive me insane (short drive, Mr. Moon would say) and one is torturing me this very instant. She already bit me twice. Again, like mosquitoes, only the females bite.
Frankly, I'd rather have a snake near me than a yellow fly. I'm not even kidding you.

Anyway, we had a great time with the boys. Owen and Waylon seem to be amused by each other and try to grab at each other's faces. They go straight for the eyes. I have no idea why. Waylon is a happy boy, like Owen and fairly easily amused. He went down for a nap around three and when his mama got here at four, she found us asleep together in the guest room.

We were both tired, even though I hadn't done a damn thing all day long.
Like I said, we did go out and feed the chickens. Here's a picture of Miss Penny who was getting real close and personal with me. She WANTS those grapes and she is not kidding!

She was IN MY FACE! So I took her picture.

And here's a picture of Jessie with both boys.


You can see that Owen is keeping an eye on Waylon. "That's MY Mean Aunt Jessie," he is probably thinking. He's almost all well now except for a bit of huskiness to his voice which is actually quite charming. He's sort of the Demi Moore of babies now. He's back to being the boss of every one, especially his grandmother. He took a dive backwards off the bed today but I miraculously stuck out a foot and gently broke his fall. He was pissed off but not hurt.

And now I suppose I better do a chore or two. Like- wash the breakfast dishes. I mean, it's time to start thinking about dinner.

It's been a good day. I tell you. When Jessie came in she found Lily and me, sitting in the Glen Den eating meatloaf sandwiches and watching Wife Swap and playing with the babies. I mean really- it doesn't get much better than that. And then- a nap with a baby?! Well. Nothing better.

A hot summer day with babies and snakes and meat loaf sandwiches and some of my kids and now it even looks like it might rain.

Yeah. I'm a lucky woman.

I better go wash those dishes.

Love...Ms. Moon