I had a fine evening last night. Made myself a stir fry with tofu and all the vegetables, and decided to do what I've been threatening to do for awhile which is to restart watching "Reservation Dogs". This will make the third time I've seen some of it. Or maybe fourth.
I just get so tired of what's being offered new these days. I don't want to watch blood and guts things, I'm sick of all the tropes and stereotypes that seem to pervade everything streaming now, and I don't really have the patience for comedy specials. Documentaries? They have their place and sometimes I do enjoy them.
Maybe I'm just lazy.
Maybe I really do like "Reservation Dogs." As I've said before, I love some of those characters so much it makes my heart hurt.
I had some trouble sleeping last night which is unusual for me. This can be a side effect of Zepbound. First of all, I stayed up too late reading a novel that I'm not really enjoying that much but it's enough to keep me turning pages. It's "The Paris Novel" by Ruth Reichl and I had great hopes for it but...eh.
The review the NYT's did of it is entitled, "A Sugary Bonbon of a Novel by a Legendary Foodie."
Pretty much sums it up. There are some interesting bits, mostly the snapshots of historical places and people in Paris but honestly- how many times can a person use the word "aroma"?
Quite a few, it turns out.
Anyway, what the hell is a book review doing here? Nothing. That's what it's doing. But I got to sleep late and I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep for quite awhile with those middle-of-the-night thoughts and also mango rash itching which wasn't horrible but enough to keep me awake and then I did fall asleep and Maurice came in and scratched the bed with her scimitar-like claws and meowed like perhaps Timmy was in the well, making enough noise to wake the dead and then she jumped up and for some reason wanted to get all in my face. So I slept late and that made me feel like a slug and basically I've felt old and fat and ugly and useless all day.
I picked beans which is my go-to when I feel like this because it's a mindless way of at least attempting to be productive and I do enjoy being outside although it was so hot that Maurice kept trying to lure me back in. I picked for an hour, finishing up only one side of the fence, came in, drank water, ate lunch, cooled off, and went back outside for almost another hour and picked a whole bunch more. I have almost filled a jumbo-sized Ziplock and already have half that much in the refrigerator so really, I wasn't doing anything that needed doing. I do need to weed though. Badly.
And then a nice thing happened which was that Lily came over with the kids and it was so good to see them. Owen was greatly entertaining and he and Gibson and Lily and I talked and talked while Magnolia worked on my jigsaw puzzle and then played with the miniature things that Linda Sue sent her which she loves.
I got Owen to give me the real dirt about what's going on with that cabin and the work situation. He has observed that Boppy is a perfectionist and he's not wrong about that. He's enjoyed the work, I think and is proud of what he's doing and what he's learning. Owen is such a dear boy. Gibson wants to go up and help more too, and since they'll mostly be working inside for awhile, that's more his speed. Maggie also expressed an interest from what I hear, but Owen told her she was too young.
I can just hear her saying, "Harrummmph!" and flouncing out of the room.
Owen told us some duck-hunting stories that I'd never heard and I laughed so hard. Mr. Moon does not relate all of these stories to me but Owen has no problem telling them.
Glen's off the boat and safe. He always texts to let me know that and I appreciate it. Of course it'll be hours before he gets home after cleaning the boat and cleaning the fish and taking a shower and all that stuff.
God, he must love to fish. I can't even imagine.
So I guess I'm just hot and tired and probably bored with myself and everything I do. Also, I have chin hairs and a mustache and no neck but I do have enough skin where my neck used to be to cover my entire back should I ever need a skin graft. My creative abilities in the kitchen seem to have smashed into a wall, and as stated before, my garden is on the fast track to being as overgrown as my facial hair.
I think I may be obsessing on what's wrong with me and my own tiny little life so that I don't have to think about...you know.
The death of a country and the rights its constitution promised for all all, and the possibility of WW III, all caused by a man who claims he should have gotten five Nobel Peace Prizes and in fact, they should call it the Trump Prize.
But here's a very, very nice picture which made me very, very happy.
"Yeah," said Owen.
And Lily said, "I don't even bother to look anymore."
My babies, my babies, my babies.
Right now Jack is outside with a hammer and nails, working on something for his fort. It keeps him busy.
ReplyDeleteToday is one of those days when I want to run away from home, from all of my responsibilities, and obligations. I'm just tired and weepy.
I had the same day on Friday. I cancelled my PT appointment and took off thrifting where i hoped to not see anyone i needed to talk to and bought myself lunch. Today, i almost feel normal again. It helps that i didn’t read much news. News sucks the marrow from my bones.
DeleteWe all have these days. I know. It's just so discouraging and, well, depressing when we do. I think we all know that feeling of just wanting to disappear for awhile.
DeleteI forgot to tell you about a book I just finished, "The Frozen River". It was excellent.
ReplyDeleteI read it recently! Yes. It was good. Pretty darn amazing how incredible her outcomes were with births. It was also very informative about how women were viewed and treated which was basically like chattel and how they were kept in line with shame and humiliation.
DeleteI'm just keeping on breathing here. I notice you're not writing about that bread you used to bake almost daily. Is that off your radar now?
ReplyDeleteI've determined that something I really need to do is to only have one carb per meal. I mean, that's not set in stone. But if we're having rice or potatoes or pasta, we're not having bread. It doesn't feel like a sacrifice. I have a loaf of very fiber-rich and dense bread rising now and we'll eat that tonight with salad. Really, one of my favorite meals these days.
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ReplyDeleteOwen driving! He's a man now. Once they get behind the wheel there's no going back. You really will have to plant fewer beans next time. Maybe half the number of plants. The boys reading together is sweet. My neck is beginning to reappear with the weight loss.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right about once kids get behind the wheel, they are well on their way out the door.
DeleteI swear to you- I WILL NOT PLANT AS MANY BEANS NEXT YEAR!
I doubt I'll have a neck even if I do lose a lot of weight. Just more skin.
“The Paris Novel” has the aroma of something I would not enjoy reading. Yes, your babies. Everyone has gotten so big. It must be wonderful to be able to share stories with Owen now... and to get the inside dish on Mr. Moon from Owen’s perspective. And this is for us both: We are beautiful and we matter!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've been thinking about how incredibly cool it is to have these conversations with Owen that are so adult. He's funny and he's smart and he's thoughtful. It's just a joy.
DeleteI think he really does love his grandfather but he also seems him as a little bit grumpy which is, in fact, a fair assessment. Especially when he's focused on a task.
We are beautiful and we do matter, Mitchell. Thank you.
Well, I can understand feeling discouraged on a day like this, with such terrible news. I'm glad the family visited and I can't believe Owen is so big and driving! That just amazes me.
ReplyDeleteSteve- honestly. If you saw Owen right now, you would keel over in shock. He is a MAN!
DeleteI'm glad the family visited to lift your spirits. I'm sorry you feel down lately and hope you feel better soon. It's hard to stay positive when events are so crazy.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure when the last time I could say I was positive in general was. My family is good and that is what I try to focus on.
DeleteOMG, Owen and Lily could be twins in that picture. It looks good on Owen.
ReplyDeleteCheck out Hamish Macbeth on Prime. Seriously. It's a wonderful production, great characters and relationships and story lines, made me laugh often.
My plan to get out in the heat with the trimmer yesterday was canceled because Jade came over and we went around to the shops instead.
I'm not sure if this is still true but for a while at least, Owen could open Lily's phone up with face identification because he was looking so much like her.
DeleteOkay. I'll check out Hamish. We're still watching Bad Monkey right now.
I was going to try and get out and weed and I just said, "No way."
I had one whisker/hair that would pop out of my chin every few months at random intervals. When I read that turmeric is thought to balance the hormones, I started taking it in capsules in case my "neck things" (?like a migraine that starts in the neck) might be caused by hormones acting up. Anyway (whew!), all that just to say that the whisker has never returned. (And I don't think the turmeric made any difference to the neck thing).
ReplyDeleteHmmm...
DeleteAt this point my hormones don't need balancing so much as they need to be supplemented.
I'm sorry the turmeric didn't help your migraines.
There is nothing better than visiting with family. Getting the inside info on the cabin reno must be filled with laughter. Owen's perspective provides new insight. The grandsons working with Glen is wonderful. I hope they get out on the water too. Sweet Maggie wants to join in the reno. There must be a role for her. Some girls (like me) love a good reno/build. Especially the design aspects.
ReplyDeleteGibson is going to be going up to work with Glen this week. I love the idea of Maggie helping and I'm sure she will be but her attention span at this point is not that great. After about an hour she'd be complaining that she's bored. And they're living in fairly primitive conditions up there.
DeleteThe what's wrong with me obsession is a woman's thing, nothing to feel bad about. I read somewhere that there's a correlation - not a cause - between years of mothering and coping and getting older.
ReplyDeleteI think I found your blog when Owen was a toddler talking to your hens. Time flies.
The last book that I could not put down was Old God's Time by Sebastian Barry. I may have cried.
Oh, I can definitely see how "women's things" can create the feelings we have about ourselves. I mean, they just do. At least they always have for me.
DeleteGosh, Sabine, I did not realize you'd been here that long! Well, Owen is no toddler now!
I looked for that book on the library app I have to listen to but they don't have it. I was able to check out another one of his books though and I will listen to that. I'll look for Old God's Time in the library to read with my eyes. Thank you.