Friday, October 18, 2024

One Must Attend The Rites Of Friday, No Matter What


Mr. Moon is the one getting all the great pictures lately and he so sweetly sends me some of them. 

This may be a rather off-beat post. Or it may not. As always, I really have no idea what I'll be writing about when I open up a new post. But here's the thing- no matter how my day has been, emotionally or physically, the feeling I get when I sit down to write is as good to me now as it was when I started back in the very olden days. According to my stats which I just looked at for the very first time, I have written almost 9,500 posts. 
Man. That's a lot of words. 

So. How HAS today been, Ms. Moon? 
Well, fine. As my Sue used to say, I've had the saddies, but it's not the continual weeping saddies so that's good. I haven't been able to tell one bit of difference since I've upped the dosage of one of my anti-depressants which the doctor recommended. But you know- it can take time. What it feels like to me is that I am becoming inert. I lack the ability to move. To move to travel, to move to go to town farther than where my perceived safety zone is, to move to go see other people, to do anything new, to move to start or finish projects that I really want and need to do. I have a strong desire to become invisible. 

Well, hello! 

Except for here where I can write it all which is a way of being seen but not seen, too.

I washed the sheets today although I've been sleeping so soundly that I'm not even sure I've moved in the night and I always take a shower before I go to bed. But routine- now that is something I can do. So yes, clean sheets on the bed.
Went to Costco to get a few things I needed, saw Brenda, hugged her.

Went to The Wharf and had shrimp for lunch making it the fourth time this week that I've had shrimp for a meal. So what? It's like I'm going down the Bubba Gump list of what you can do with shrimp. I've had the ginger shrimp twice (once was leftovers), barbecued shrimp (last night) and grilled shrimp for lunch. 
I worked in the yard, doing some more digging up of crocosmia and other assorted unwanted plants. 


That's what happens when I loosen the soil under crocosmia plants and dig in with my trowel and hand to try and bring out the corms. And that is pretty much everywhere in this particular area as well as some more of the beds in the yard. 
But. 


When I am working in that bed and look up, this is what I see. Not the oldest tree on the property or the largest one either, but it is substantial. 
Played some piano. Why do I do this? I think because when I get the notes right, as rarely and slowly and stutteringly as I do, it brings a sense of harmony into me. 

The sun is below the tree line and it is growing less light with every second. Maurice is napping on a pillow on a chair a few feet away from me. Her eyes are slitted and I know that she is keeping watch over the backyard. A little while ago, something streaked across the yard right by the back of the house where we're sitting. Something of good size. Not a squirrel. She and I both startled. I stood up to see if it was still in sight and Maurice ran to the place in the screen that she's ripped out to make it easier to come and go, and stuck her head out to look too.
"What was that?" I asked my cat. 
"I have no idea," she said. I swear. She said that. 
So of course she's now on high alert. It was probably the feral cat that lives over by the garage who is also probably the one she gets into fights with all the time. 

Please know I am fine. I am not lonely. I am just...Mary. And this is how Mary is sometimes. No need to try and cheer me up, PLEASE! Odds are good that tomorrow life will look as rosy as...a rose?

Anyway, and besides all of this nonsense, I have made my own martini and am sipping it and saying, Happy Friday, y'all! 

Love...Ms. Moon






24 comments:

  1. I just read somewhere today was international menopause day...... let that random fact sink in.... we have a DAY. what are we to do to celebrate? have a communal hot flash and then go yell at someone?? I hope the meds kick in soon, inertia scares me. xxalainaxx

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    1. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't know whether to laugh my ass off or cry my eyes out. I do like your idea though. Sounds appropriate.

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  2. You're hanging in pretty well! Yes, routine can help a lot. Especially when it includes a teeny tiny martooni.

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    1. I have tiny martini glasses for when Mr. Moon's away that I drink my martinis out of. They're so cute.

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  3. Routine keeps the bones of life together.
    Piano playing is good for the soul and shrimp should be eaten every day when it is available (we have a relatively short season here and I take advantage of it).

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    1. Y'all don't freeze shrimp? If they freeze it right on the boat it's damn good. But eating it fresh caught and in season is the best way to do it.

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  4. Shrimp and clean sheets. It doesn't get much better than that. Routine is important to me too and I need to get back to that, things have been slipping here and I have a dozen excuses for that but no real reason other than laziness. Love your conversation with Maurice and Mr Moon's photo.

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    1. I am not thrilled with Maurice right now. I'll be explaining that in my post.

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  5. I'm glad you made your martini and washed your sheets. Routines are important! What you describe sounds a lot like a fox -- that's how we often experience them around here, as flashes of motion out the corner of our eyes.

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    1. Well, I may be closer to solving that mystery. More later...
      I've only once seen a fox in this yard in the day time and it was obviously sick. Glen shot it.

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  6. Hello again, Mary
    I often feel the way you do, it's as if I want to shrink my world to a comfortable size to manage.
    Alan Bennet describes his mother as wanting to " Go through life unnoticed".
    Maybe it's an age thing?
    The picture Mr Moon sent is just glorious.
    Take care. Christina. X

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    1. Yes- I think that is a good description of the way I feel too. And I had to look up Alan Bennet but yes- that is also how I feel. Damn. Maybe it is an age thing.
      That was a pretty photo, wasn't it?

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  7. Your description of having boundaries which you just "cannot" go beyond reminds me very much of my neighbour, but in her case I believe it's because her late husband sucked the life and soul out of her. I'm working on her very slowly to come out of her shell and become the old M that I knew before and by gosh I do believe we might be getting somewhere! Her smile is starting to come back!

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    1. That is so good and sweet of you to do that for your friend. You are right to go very slowly.

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  8. my goal today is to get out in the yard during this lovely not hot weather and get my hands dirty. was going to do that yesterday but two things coincided and I went to see my PC in the afternoon. she wasn't concerned but ordered some tests. anyway, the visit relieved me of some anxiety.

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    1. I did that! Got out and got my hands in the dirt.
      I am so sorry to hear that you've been having worries. May all be well, Ellen.

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  9. I have no goals today:) We did get donuts though, so I guess that was a goal.
    Sending hugs and love.

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    1. Doughnuts are generally always a good goal to have.
      Hugs and love back to you.

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  10. I'm glad that you are Mary who's fine. I'm just fine too, as Celie. If I ate that much shrimp I'd be i n intensive care if I managed to get to the ER in time. Probably not, since no amount would work for me.

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    1. Are you allergic to shrimp? That sounds terrible!

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  11. The saddies. Zones of safety. The comfort of routine. I get it so much. I love you.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.