Guess who got their marriage license today?
That's right! Rachel and Hank! How darling are those two loveys? This wedding is going to be so damn fabulous. I am going to get all the pictures I can and of course, I'll get people's permission before I post them because I'm thoughtful like that but I really can't wait to share the joy and celebration of these two beloveds.
Isn't it funny how when our kids are born we have certain ideas about how their lives may go? We know that we can't really predict their futures but we certainly hope certain things for them. I guess for me, my hopes involved my children being happy and by that, I knew even then that their happiness might not look like my idea of happiness but my idea had nothing to do with anything. And if you had told me when Hank was born the path that his life would take to come to this moment in time when he has found his true love and is about to marry her, I would have been completely gobsmacked.
Say what?
And yet, he IS happy and he makes Rachel happy and the way Hank has lived his life is so genuine and so uniquely his own and the way he has been a touchstone for so many people and an inspiration for even more folks makes me not only incredibly proud to be his mother but also, so appreciative of how his life has changed and opened and enlarged my life in so many beautiful ways. And has since the second he came into being and when I say that, I mean as soon as I even suspected I was pregnant with him.
"All I want is for you to be happy." I can hear my mother saying that to me, I can hear millions of mothers saying that to their children and I know they meant it and mean it but the caveat in those few words is that they want their children to be happy in the way they themselves think they should be happy. And as we know, those are often two very different things. To me, it was far more interesting to watch and see the roads my children took (and are still taking) to achieve happiness than to try and lay down a path for them that I feel is the right one. I have no idea what the right path for myself is- how in the world would I know what the right path for my children is?
My goodness. Where did all of this come from? Who knows? I guess that sometimes I just get off on a tangent that leads to a place I obviously feel the need to discuss.
I should probably rename this blog "Stream of Consciousness" but "Blessourhearts" it has always been and "Blessourhearts" it will always be.
Bringing it all down to earth, I will tell you that I haven't accomplished much today at all. Why do I always feel the need to "accomplish"? I have no idea but I think that many of us do. And what do we mean by that word? And why in hell do we think that our "accomplishments" have any effect on the universe at all? Whether or not I pick up branches in the yard really does not amount to a particle of cosmic dust in the grand scheme of things. I found some turnip seeds from last year and planted a row of those. I had forgotten turnips when I ordered my seeds. I did some more thinning and weeding and realized that my lettuces were not coming up or if they had, something had eaten them. So again I found some seeds from last year and replanted a row of those. I think I may end up having to do a quite a bit of replanting of certain things and that's all on me- I probably didn't water enough which you wouldn't really think would be a problem when you've gone though a hurricane in the last week. And yet other things are merrily being all green and fine. I had thought I'd do some more yard work after my gardening but I decided that no, I did not want to and beside that, those branches and weeds and invasive plants will all be there tomorrow too. I started mending a huge tear in a pair of Mr. Moon's overalls. He wore that part of them completely out. It's going to require some thought and effort to mend this rip. Also a very large patch to cover all the worn-thin fabric in the area.
But of course there are clean sheets on the bed. Is it Friday? Yes. Yes it is.
And I will report that Vergil's mother posted a video that I saw yesterday but which was even more terrifying on a bigger format on Facebook. She wrote that their family has been on that mountain for so long that the stories of the great flood of 1916 have been passed down through the generations. And this flood was even worse. She reports they are okay and working hard to put things back together. I have no doubt they are.
I can't believe how much can change in one week's time.
Martini time.
Fall rose.
Happy Friday, y'all.
Love...Ms. Moon
Congrats to Hank & Rachel! ❤️
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend. 😊
Thank you and thank you!
DeleteGive Hank and Rachel my best wishes for both a fabulous wedding and married life!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your Friday martini, Mary, for tomorrow will come! Have a great weekend!
Hank does read here so I am sure he will see your comment.
DeleteSo far it's been a nice weekend.
I'm glad Hank and Rachel found each other. They look very happy, which is as you said, all we want for our children.
ReplyDeleteI have done very little today. Jack has been sick all day, not really sick but not well either. His temp keeps going up and down and he vomited a couple of times. At least his cough is gone and I hope he feels better tomorrow.
I pulled some of my plants up today which always makes me a little sad, but winter is coming. Take care.
I think that Hank and Rachel do indeed make each other happy. They are so sweet together. I know they care about each other deeply.
DeleteI hope Jack is feeling better today.
Pulling plants for winter is hard. But there will be new ones come spring.
It will be a wonderful wedding! I'm so happy we'll all be there.
ReplyDeleteYou will!
DeleteI echo, Hank and Rachel are a lovely couple, so glad they've found each other. I look forward to lots of pictures.
ReplyDeleteVergil's family are strong and strong people do what they have to do, don't they?
Strong people do indeed do what they need to! And Vergil's family is very, very strong.
DeleteLovely picture of Hank and Rachel. Interesting reflections around, "I just want you to be happy" and what parents might mean by that. Sounds like you were wise even when you were young to recognise that there may be a world of difference between pre-conceived notions of happiness and the kind of happiness that our children might find.
ReplyDeleteI think a part of knowing that early was how much the world had changed in the time between when my mother was young and I had become an adult. Her ideas of happiness were sort of not in the big top ten anymore. And besides that, I looked at her life and she was NOT happy at all which did not give her words much weight to me.
DeleteThat is a great photo of Hank and Rachel. They've found true happiness and their smiles show it 100%.
ReplyDeleteThey do, don't they?
DeleteSo happy for Hank and Rachel...and your family. Forgot when the wedding *is*.....not this weekend, right? But soon. I think all parents want the best for their children and want them to be happy.....but some parents are not able to fully embrace and accept the actual *what makes them happy*. (as in, my parents)....... and I'm glad to hear that Vergil's family are safe and doing what they must. They are strong people, indeed. happy Friday!
ReplyDeleteSusan M
The wedding is in November!
DeleteIt can cause deep problems when parents and their adult children's ideas of the sort of lives the children should live clash. You're right.
Congratulations Hank and Rachel! Looking forward to the pictures as well. They look like they’re glowing with happiness!
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
I think that was a very happy day for both of them.
DeleteCongratulations to the beautiful couple!🥰My two kids are in their way home now, and I can’t wait to spend some time with them! Xo, Rigmor
ReplyDeleteHurray!
DeleteI think, at some point, all good mothers realize that their children will make their own way, and that our job is to get back and let them do it. You can marvel that you raised such fearless children, forces of nature in their own right. That is quite an accomplishment, Ms. Moon.
ReplyDeleteIt was very hard for me to strike a balance as a mother between wanting my children to grab life by the horns and being so, so afraid for them because I am a sky-is-falling kind of person. I'm sure I gave them mixed messages for sure.
DeleteHow happy they look! Like they've landed in the exact right place!
ReplyDeleteI think so too!
DeleteHank and Rachel are aglow, always. Congratulations to them. And to you for your goal to raise happy children. I like how you started with a photo of two blossoms and ended with another.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mitchell. You are a peach.
DeleteI sometimes think I haven't accomplished much, but by the time I go to bed, the place is clean, no dishes left in the sink, the garden has been watered, sheets changed, laundry done, cat tray scooped, cat cuddled, shopping done, tv watched, so I tick that off in my mind as a good day.
ReplyDelete"a very large patch to cover all the worn-thin area.."? If it was just a rip, yes, patch, but a completely worn thin large area? Buy a new pair of overalls and use the good bits from the old pair to patch the new ones when needed. Or to patch other things.
You know, River. You are right. We all get a lot of things done no matter how we feel at the end of the day.
DeleteAs to the overalls- as someone who knows exactly how beloved a worn, broken-in, completely comfortable pair of old overalls is, I gladly patch Mr. Moon's.
Congratulations to Hank and Rachel. I think your point about many parents saying they want their kids to be happy, but having very specific ideas about what that might mean, is so true. The real test of parenthood is celebrating your kids becoming themselves, even in ways you don't expect.
ReplyDeleteI suppose our accomplishments, whatever we perceive them to be, are how we measure our days. Which may not be the best way to do it!
Yes! Celebrating them becoming themselves! Absolutely. And we so very seldom foresee what that is. It's an adventure.
DeleteYour last sentence holds truth.
P.S. forgot to say how happy Hank and Rachel look.
ReplyDeleteThey do, don't they?
Deletemany blessings to Hank and Rachel as they start their married life together xxalainaxx
ReplyDeleteAs you and I both know, marriage can be a beautiful thing.
DeleteCheers Ms Moon. To you and yours.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jill.
DeleteHank and Rachel look so happy. Congrats to them and may the future continue to hold much happiness for them!
ReplyDeleteOh, we never know what our kids (and grandkids) will do next but we love them just the way they are forever and always.
No matter the changes that our kids go through, their essential nature is always there and that is who we love. And honestly, within that essential nature there has always been the parts of them that may surprise us eventually. Do you think that's true?
DeleteYou probably cannot imagine how happy I am for Hank and Rachel, how proud of Hank I am as well, even though he is not my child, and I've never even met him, but I FEEL the way he shifts our world to goodness all the way up here in NYC. He knew to choose you to be his mother; he knew he would be able to unfold as he needed to do, and you would be there, wishing for his happiness without getting in the way of it. It is a lesson I am trying to learn. I always want to make things so perfect for my children, and my daughter reminds again and again, perfect isn't necessary. We don't need perfect. And I need to step back, and not get in the way of their life lessons, as well as their happiness about figuring things out. Also, clean sheets on the bed. That's always an accomplishment in my book.
ReplyDeleteYour daughter is right but I completely understand how you feel. I can remember when Hank was born and I just spent hours and hours singing to him songs that I made up about how I would always be there for him and always get him and do for him whatever he needed. And of course no mother can really do that and it would lead to a child who grew up to be a rather insufferable adult, I think, but the part about always being there for him has been easy. I think that the strength in both your family and in mine is that we are all always there for each other. That no matter what, we are there with love. And respect, too. My god, that's important.
DeleteCongratulations to Hank and Rachel! looking forward to the pictures.
ReplyDelete