Friday, April 16, 2021

Friday Report

I had an extremely traumatic experience this morning. I've been biting my tongue in my sleep and it hurts like hell. Sometimes I wake up feeling like something very red has exploded in my mouth. A painful sort of red. A shockingly painful shocking red. 
Like that. And this morning, even though I didn't know I'd bitten my tongue, that must have been what woke me up because suddenly I had a mouthful of shockingly red blood. And a little pain. 
Having a sudden mouthful of  blood is not what one expects upon arising. I panicked for a second. I'm not going to lie to you. I could not figure out where it was coming from until I went and stuck my tongue out in the mirror and saw a tiny little place where the blood was just pouring out. I felt like a freakin' vampire. I must have bitten through a capillary or something. I held a washcloth to it and it soon ceased and I haven't seen another drop all day. 
But Jesus. What a way to start the day. I guess I need to start wearing that mouthguard again. Between that and the splint I wear for my fucked up wrist, I feel totally sexy when I go to bed. 
Who wouldn't?! 

I messed around here this morning for as long as I could get away with and then I drove to town. 


Ooh boy. 
Yep. I went to Target. 
That was a trip. First thing I saw was their weird-as-shit prairie dress collection. I've read about this and seen some of the resulting photography projects (please go here and check it out) but I did not realize the true hideousness of these garments. 


That particular dress reminded me of an Amish choir robe and it felt like a shower curtain although the tag said it was made of 100% cotton. It may have lied. 
Y'all! I would not be seen de-pooping my chicken house in that...dress? And I am a person who wears overalls with one strap held together with a ducky diaper pin. 
I cannot imagine a soul on this earth who would look good in it. Not even Uma Thurman who, before she had her face rearranged by a plastic surgeon was, in my opinion, ethereally beautiful. No. Body. 
Nope. 

I finally tore myself away from the car-wreck-like horror and realized that things had been vastly rearranged in the store. I wandered around for awhile, constantly trying to remind myself of why I was there, which was to buy bins or baskets or something for shelf-organizing. Turns out they have organizing vessels in almost every department. We all need more organization in our lives, obviously. I was staring at some cloth cubes when a darling young man approached me to ask if he could help me with anything. I told him that it had been a year since I'd been in a Target and that honestly, I mostly needed a tranquilizer. He began to dig in his fanny pack. 
Do not ask me why he was wearing a fanny pack.
Now that I think about it, I may have only assumed he was an employee. 
I said, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I have my own!" and he laughed. I laughed. We all laughed. 
I ended up buying about seven plastic bins and also, four new towels and two new washcloths. I haven't bought new towels in seventeen years and I decided it was time. 
I looked at a bunch of other stuff but did not buy any of it. I kept thinking that there was something I was going to look at but I couldn't remember what it was and I still can't so I must not have needed it very much. 

Then I went to Goodwill which was right across the street and bought two way-overpriced shelf baskets. 

By this time I was hungry as hell and called and ordered a fish sandwich at a restaurant near Costco and went and picked it up and ate it in my car which was a delightful fifteen minutes. It was gently raining and cool and the sandwich was delicious. 
On to Costco where I did not see Brenda-with-the-mermaid eyes but did see Kevin in the liquor store which is always a treat. He's one of those people who makes everyone feel a tiny bit special. We all need Kevins in our life. 
Finally I hit the Publix and got what I needed there and came home. 
Yes. I am tired. Very, very tired. 
Look what my husband has done today!


I love this color green. It's the same green as the bathroom he built. I'm so very excited to start using the shelves (which he is painting in the garage) to put my things on. Oh, it will be glorious! I think my poor kitchen will breathe a sigh of relief to be rid of some of its clutter.

It's Friday. I still haven't made up the bed but sheets are clean and dried and I'm sipping a martini. I have braved the shopping hoards in a major retail establishment. I have survived the bleeding vampire mouth. I have picked some of my last lettuces. 
Sigh.
Life will go on. 

Happy Friday, y'all. 
Love...Ms. Moon

41 comments:

  1. I'm a tongue-biter, too. Startled awake by a sharp pain and a mouth full of blood is awful. I had a mouth guard at one time, but it hurt so I never used it. It's good that tongues seem to heal quickly! Enjoy that martini, relax, and tackle those shelves tomorrow.

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    1. It is a horrible way to wake up! It's so startling.
      Oh, the shelves aren't ready for me to use yet. But soon...

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  2. As soon as you mentioned your bitten tongue, I thought what about the Friday martini, won't it hurt? Evidently you braved it out though. I also wondered if you realized that biting your tongue is supposed to be only a metaphor..

    I totally love that green. I could live in that pantry.

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    1. Nope. The martini did not hurt a bit. There was a little pain on that side of my tongue but it wasn't increased by eating or drinking. It was a tiny, tiny bite, I guess.
      I have thought about the metaphor aspect of this action.
      I'm glad you love the green. I do too.

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  3. How scary to wake up with a mouthful of blood! Glad it didn’t affect enjoying your sandwich or martini. Happy Friday!
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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  4. Well, I am impressed at your store visits. I am still fearful as far as a retail store but I have braved my way into 3 different food stores: a farm market,an Asian market and the regular grocery store. So far, I am ok but I do find it a little dicey as we live in a very populated area. I am sorry about your tongue. That must have been awful.

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    1. I wasn't smashed up against anyone at any of the stores so that was good.
      The blood thing was pretty damn traumatic, I have to say.

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  5. No Amish person would even wear those horrid frocks! Yuck! Sorry about your bad bloody mouth wake-up....... how scary. Hope it won't deter the martini enjoyment......and glad your shopping is done...though I would have loved you to see *Brenda, she of the mermaid eye shadow*. LOL. Your new pantry is a thing of beauty.....although I must say I'm sorry that the gorgeously grained wood on the back wall was painted over. DO love the green, though. Happy Friday!
    Susan M

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    1. I'm sure you are right about the Amish not wearing anything that tacky.
      I always look for Brenda. She cheers me so.
      The wood that was on the back of the shelves was just pine plywood so nothing special. I do like the green.

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  6. Hilarious dresses. The print one's a bit 'Little House on the Prairie'/island mumu fashion fusion. Were there any matching bonnets?

    Love that green too.

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    1. I saw no matching bonnets. I do not understand how Target could have passed up that retail opportunity.

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  7. OMG, your shelves are green, too. Be still my heart. I promise I won't come live with you.
    Let me tell you about kinds of cotton. There is virgin cotton, picked and carded and spun and wove and it is wonderful stuff.
    Then there is processed cotton, or reprocessed cotton. It is old cotton things, generally old sheets, or whatever they get in trash bales from American and the rest of the first world. It is ground up, carded and spun into thread. But it is short, nasty, prickly thread. If cotton feels too awful to be cotton, it probably may be processed cotton. That has to be disclosed, but I don't know where or how big the print must be.

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    1. Oh, Joanne. You could come live with me. We could find a place for your loom somewhere although Maurice would probably kill your beloved cat baby.
      You taught me something about fabric! Thank you! This "cotton" felt like a man-made material. Like it would not breathe. Like a shower curtain, as I said. I was shocked when I read that tag.

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  8. those look like "pray and obey" dresses- make the wimmin folk look undesirable so the little helmet heads are not going to get into trouble. Thank you lord jesus!
    The green pantry is such a lovely shade! Green can be difficult as you know, so lucky to have found a really great shade. YAY, And yes, wear a guard at night. Sexy is SO yesterday!!

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    1. Yes! Pray and obey dresses! Exactly!
      You made me laugh with "sexy is SO yesterday." It's funny because it's so damn true.

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  9. That Target dress looks very much like one worn by Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Need I say more?

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  10. I love your pantry! We are designing a house and a pantry is a must have. I need a place to hide my clutter too.

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  11. ÒK trying to comment despite eyes. You know you like the great british bake off which I loathe? We also have the great British sewing bee which l love episode 1 has a buffet dress which is similar to the dress u describe cos e are all so much fatter due to lockdown. Well l liked 1 of them. Am past caring dont go out apart from medical appointments so who gives a cŕap. Just wanted to share solidarity dear friend and hope you can see the Brit sewing bee which l think you might enjoy love from across the pond Maggi xxx

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    1. I want to watch that show so bad but I don't think we get it yet. We will and then I will definitely watch it.
      Thank you for writing, Maggi. I hope you are okay.

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    2. Bearing up as we say in these parts x

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  12. Oh n my dreams make my tongue bleed tòò. Love Maģgi xxx

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    1. Do you think it's your dreams? I don't know what the hell makes me do it.

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    2. My dreams can be so hellish it would not surprise me x

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  13. OMG! What on earth were they thinking. and who the hell is the target age group for those hideous sacks. can't really call them dresses. I swear, the people who design women's clothes must hate women. I did nothing yesterday. no, I went to the library. that's it. the weather here is overcast, wet, and chilly. has been for days. and that's too many stores in one day.

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    1. I swear, Ellen, as bad as I thought those dresses would be, they are worse. Sacks indeed. Ruffled sacks. Overcast and wet here too although not chilly. More like coolish.

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  14. You are literally biting your tongue. What do you need to say? And what a horrible way to start the day.

    Those dresses are hideous but your new pantry is abolutely beautiful. Good job Mr. Moon!

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    1. I, too, have wondered about that. What IS it that I need to say? Probably a whole damn lot. I can think of a few for sure but I don't because then my world would fall apart.
      It wouldn't really.
      I think the pantry is going to be gorgeous.

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  15. That would have been pretty scary waking up to all that blood!!! I wonder why you're doing it. It's a bit like grinding your teeth I guess! But aren't you the lucky devil with that beautiful pantry. I'm pea green with envy, same colour as your pantry!

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    1. Yes. It IS like grinding one's teeth, I think. Same sort of situation.
      Every home deserves a pantry, I think.

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  16. Hope your tongue feels better. Your body is trying to tell you something! You had better listen...
    That is a lot of shopping you did. I haven't gotten that brave yet.
    Lunch this week with 4 friends will be my first event out since I am now immune. Nervous but excited to gab around food again!

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    1. It wasn't nearly as much shopping as I did a few weeks ago. Still though- you are right. It was too much.
      Enjoy your lunch out with friends!

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  17. Considering how you woke up, maybe you should take that Target tranquilizer before you go to bed. Yowza.

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  18. I know nothing about women's fashions but I think that those prairie dresses should either be renamed sacks or left out on the prairie for the prairie dogs to make into tents. By the way I have heard of the expression "to bite one's tongue" but I thought we did it metaphorically and not literally!

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    1. I don't even think the prairie dogs would want to use those sack dresses. They are simply horrid.
      As to the tongue- I always take things too far. We know this by now.

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  19. Oh that must have been scary. I think I read somewhere that the tongue has incredible number of blood vessels so the slightest nick to it and it starts pouring blood. But still. I never heard of anyone biting their tongue in their sleep before, although I don't see why it shouldn't be as common as grinding teeth. I am endlessly biting my tongue when awake at present. This happens occasionally. I do it once and then I am likely to do it again and again. I suppose it must be because it swells up a little. Those dresses you showed are awe inspiring, not in a good way. I am just interested in WHO in the whole wide world would buy them. With a Goodwill over the road, there must surely be something better and just as cheap, or cheaper.

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  20. That dress looks like a paper bag. What were they thinking?!

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  21. Oh that mouth full of blood must have been frightening! But that green painted pantry looks fabulous. Beautiful work your man does!

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.