Saturday, January 5, 2008

Where ARE Those Ducky Diaper Pins?


I am thinking that perhaps there is a biological clock for grandmothers just as there is one for mothers. Do you think that's possible?
I ask this because despite the fact that I'm not consciously craving grandchildren, I've been dreaming about babies lately. And in the dream I had this morning, besides the cutest, darlingest little dumpling of a babe you ever saw, there was an older woman wearing a T-shirt that said, "I can't get pregnant anymore."
Although that doesn't sound particularly clever or T-shirt-worthy, in my dream it was one hell of a chuckle-inducing bon mot.
Ha-ha!
I said in my dream. How funny!
What's funny, of course, is that my mind quite recognizes the fact that I am not about to have another baby but believes, dammit, that there must be one somewhere around that somehow belongs to me.
I have three daughters who are all of child-bearing age. They too, are reporting baby dreams. One of them is going to be married next April and I wouldn't be surprised at all if she didn't present me with my first grandchild within the following year.
Surprisingly, I am not exactly sure how I feel about this. Having just spent thirty-one years in fairly constant child-rearing, I'm not certain that I'm ready to be enlisted in baby-sitting at this point on a regular basis. But as a friend and I agreed recently, discussing just this topic, there is probably some switch that gets flipped when a grandchild is born similar to the one that gets flipped when one's own child is born and the heart is flooded with all sorts of lovely light and hormones that make you love that baby more than life itself and indeed, reveals the meaning of life in a way previously undreamed of.
I'm hoping.
And frankly, I think that all of this is beyond our control and has a lot to do with our evolution as humans and has deep roots in our ape ancestors and it's something we have no need to try and figure out or worry over because it just happens.
When I think of my ancestral mothers, I think of a long, long line of women, holding out a hand to the next one in line, all the way back to a woman who looked very much like Flo, one of the chimps that Jane Goodall studied so intensely in the Gombe. Flo was a mother of outstanding devotion who spent her life raising her many offspring up to become high-standing members of their community up until the day she died, and I have often asked myself in situations with my children where I was unsure how to act, "What would Flo do?"
It is a great comfort to me to think that somewhere deep inside of me there is a mother-wisdom that stretches all the way back to a mother like Flo and if I just relax and get out of my own overly intellectual internal meanderings and believe in what I know to be the truth, all will be well.
The human race still exists because women know, instinctively, a lot of things that they aren't aware of.
And I'm just becoming aware that all of this mother-wisdom might come in handy if a grand baby were to suddenly appear.
At least my dreams are leading me to believe that.
Tick-tock.

7 comments:

  1. My mother in law will not leave us alone about grandchildren. Even after the wedding ceremony, she started with "Where's my grandbaby?"

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  2. Okay. I'm not that bad AT ALL. Or good. Maybe I'm not that good.

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  3. "What would Flo do?" Now there's a t-shirt!

    I must say, as an only child, my mother and father went bananas when my bean was born. and it was incredible to watch. though they were (and still are) overly "do not want to interfere" (can you believe that is possible, well it is) the way they bloom and gush when my bean is present is unbelievable. It feels so good to see them so happy. And it's nothing but healthy for my little bean as well.

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  4. Be careful what you wish for: I also wished for grandchildren and ended up with four of them born within a 2 1/2 year period! Be specific - if you want one grandchild, wish for one grandchild.

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  5. I just wish to be a GOOD grandmother. Like the kind Ample's Bean has. Positive, loving, supportive and there if you need me. I worry though, that I won't be. I'm an awfully selfish person in my own way.

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  6. You come to me for grandmother advice! I have a terrifying motherinlaw!

    I love this post, especially in light of my ape-mother post, and recent impending grandchildren developments :)

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  7. Ms. Jo- I have several posts with apes and mama pictures. I love them and when I saw the picture on your blog, I figured I'd love you too!
    Yeah. Give me advice on how NOT to be a grandmother. I'll figure it out from there.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.