Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Those Of The Male Persuasion Might Want To Skip This One


There's my little canary-hen, Miss Tweety. Every morning when I go to let the chickens out and throw them their scratch, she's the last one out of the coop. She hangs out on that little shelter roof until everyone else has pushed through the run to wait expectantly for their scratch to be thrown. She's a very skittish little lady as is Miss Violet, another banty, but I will point out that Miss V. is the longest-living chicken I think I've ever had. I haven't gotten an egg from Tweety in quite a few days so I think she must be laying somewhere else. Not only is she skittish, she's sneaky. Some hens are like that. She's not a fancy hen at all but I do love the designs that her feather-colorings make. A pretty little thing. 

So of course I had to get all worked up about the procedure I got today. Which was ridiculous. It was what they call a transvaginal ultrasound to determine the thickness of my uterus. Not, as I had said, because I was having any problems but just as a way for my hormone-prescribing doctor to cover his ass. It was nothing, really. The hardest part was that they did an external ultrasound first which meant that I had to have a full bladder. My instructions had been to drink a quart of water an hour before the appointment and to "hold it." I was a bit worried about this. I mean- I'm a sixty-six year old woman who has given birth to four babies but it turned out to be okay. The tech lady was great. She didn't even make me change into a gown because I was wearing a dress with easy access to the important parts. She said she'd step out of the room while I took off my panties and handed me a sheet. I said, "Don't bother. You're about to see it all."
She laughed and said, "I see it all all day long."
Even the sheet was entirely unnecessary but I clutched it to me like it was serving some purpose. The whole thing was over in a few minutes and she said that it didn't look like I had anything to worry about which was what I expected and before you knew it, I was out the door and on my way. 

And any men who have made it this far should just remember that this is only one of many, many things that women have to go through in their lives involving putting their feet in stirrups. For some bizarre reason, these sorts of exams don't bother me so much or cause too much anxiety in me. That's probably because my lady parts have been nothing but faithful and true my entire life and if anything, far too apt to work too well than to malfunction. I dreamed two nights ago that I was pregnant, and I was not best pleased about that, thinking that when the child graduated high school I'd be 84 (dream math!) but still, I put my hands on my belly in my dream and thought, "Well, here we go again."
Can't say I wasn't relieved when I woke up though, to realize that I was not pregnant and that I would not be attending a high school graduation on a walker. If I was lucky. 

After all of that I went to Costco. Even though I had bought everything in the stores only a week before, I still had a very long list. Two lists, actually. One for Costco and one for Publix. I got through Costco quickly and didn't impulse-buy a darn thing which is no fun at all. Then I went to Publix and once again, overbought. I am still in a bit of a hoarding mindset. I realize that but I can't seem to stop it. It's not to the red-line level of crazy but it tilts in that direction. 
Please remind me that I do not need ANY MORE CHICKEN to go into the freezer. Not for quite awhile. I even bought a package of frozen filo dough and when the check-out lady asked me what I was going to do with it I did not have a definitive
 answer. 

"Maybe make a spinach casserole?" 
We shall see. Meanwhile, it's in the freezer, taking up space. 

And tonight we're having leftover chili and a salad along with leftover cornbread. So. Leftovers, basically. And I'm glad. For whatever reason, by the time I'd carried everything into the house and and put it all away, I was truly exhausted. I absolutely had to go lay down and sleep for awhile and I can't even remember the last time I took a nap. 

I listened to more of the Amy Coney Barrett hearings and Ted Cruz made me want to vomit. He went on and on about how Democrats are attacking Barrett for her Catholic faith and how this country is built on religious freedom and rambled on about the ten commandments on courthouse lawns and Hobby Lobby (really- he did) and then completely changed direction to ask Barrett about whether or not she played the piano and oh! did her children "do" the piano too? 

JeeSUS. 

Well, here we are. 

Oh! Here's a picture that Lily took of her daddy working on her garden today. 


She wrote, "Y'all, Boppy just left and as usual I'm wiped and he seemed fit as a fiddle! Always amazing me!" But Mr. Moon did tell me that Lily did a lot of hard work too and that he was really proud of her. 
Strong woman! Strong man. Made me feel even worse about having to take a nap after the huge effort of going grocery shopping. 

Well, it is what it is. 

Onward!

Love...Ms. Moon



31 comments:

  1. Glad the test went okay. I hate those tests where you have to force water and pray.

    That's one lovely man you have there.

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  2. Dream math? You could do math in a dream. You go, woman.
    I'm always amused at the use of sheets in those silly ultrasound exams below the waist. I recently had a deep vein scan of a leg. Lying down, the sheet covered one leg. Then standing, I was instructed to hold the sheet from one corner, in a long drape, in front of my leg. How useless.

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    1. That sounds completely ridiculous. And useless. I suppose an air of professionalism must be maintained at all costs.

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  3. happy test is over and good results! Shopping.....meh, but glad you did it! Miss Tweety is a cutie, as is Mr Moon (always)! I'm on day 2 of solo with dog....loving it. 1) no making of bed. 2) no cooking (re-heat only) and 3) no laundry. I am slothful and enjoying every minute with no guilt whatsoever. Tomorrow lunch with bro (who lives near but we don't visit often)......and then.......ahh......more quiet until Sunday when hubby returns.
    Susan M

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    1. Ooh! I know you're having a good time! Continue on!

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  4. I remember the first time I had a transvaginal US, the tech handed me the probe and told me to put it in. After I got over the shock, I thought it was pretty funny. Glad your bits are all fine.

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  5. I’m a Christian (a real one; not the kind that hates blacks, women who choose to control their bodies, and those that aren’t lily white straight holier-than-thou’s), and this country was NOT built on religious freedoms! I get so sick of hearing that! And Ted Cruz is supporting the SOB that said his wife is ugly, and talking about piano lessons to a woman who wants to set this country back 100 years!

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    1. This country was no more built on religious FREEDOM than it was built on the idea that all humans are created equal. It's a fine thing to say in both cases. Too bad it's bullshit. Not only did Cruz discuss HER piano lessons as a child and how much she gets to or does not get to play now, he also told her about his own kids' piano lessons. Come on.

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  6. I'm glad your test was okay and it is done and behind you now! I've had quite a few of that type of ultrasounds and I tell you trying to hold all that water when they are pushing around inside you is not easy!

    I just love Miss Tweety, she is so pretty!

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    1. This lady did the external US first and then let me go pee. I thought that was so thoughtful. "That's a full bladder!" she said. I couldn't help but feel a little bit proud. Haha!
      Tweety is a doll. Now if I could just find her little doll eggies.

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  7. I'm glad that test is over and went well. I've had one and the water did not stay in...Stress makes people tired, so nap whenever you need. My sleep patterns are so screwed up again that I now just sleep whenever. Have a sweet night.

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    1. Stress is the most wearisome thing there is, isn't it?

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  8. I had a trans-vaginal ultrasound once, and I found it so invasive and uncomfortable. Maybe because I kept thinking this was what the conservatives were demanding a pregnant woman have before considering her "options." I listened to one tiny bit of the hearing and was astounded at how Baby Boopish the woman's voice sounded. No wonder those geezers love her.

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    1. Yeah- conservatives can take that wand and shove it up their asses. Wand that!
      I, too, was quite surprised by what her voice sounded like. She doesn't even sound like she could successfully call her children to the table, much less offer opinions from the bench but I guess she can.

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  9. It must be great doing jobs when you are Glen Moon - no need for stepladders. As for the stirrups - are they the same as the ones that cowboys put their boots into at rodeos - shouting "Yee-hah!" as they wave their stetsons in the air while holding onto the reins with their other hand? Such fun.

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    1. Yes. The exact same stirrups and every OB/GYN has a horse in each exam room for the ladies' riding pleasure. But you have to bring your own Stetson.

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  10. Stress wears you out! So you needed a nap after the appointment AND shopping! Had to take a break! I haven't watched the hearings as I can't stand the hypocrisy of it all. I am just so anxious to get this election over and have our country go blue so some of the Republicans can just shut up.

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  11. Glad the procedure went OK. I don't think I've ever heard of an exam that requires a full bladder. That's interesting. I guess the male equivalent is a prostate exam, which may not be quite the same thing, but is definitely no fun. (It's very fast, though, at least in its simplest form.)

    I am not paying any attention to Amy Coney Barrett. I can't do a damn thing about it and whatever's going to happen is going to happen. I don't need the agita!

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    1. Well, the full bladder pushes the uterus so that it's in a better position to be visualized. Which makes sense, I guess.
      I'm with you on the I-can't-do-a-damn-thing-about-it philosophy. I started listening some today and just couldn't bring myself to continue. Who cares?

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  12. I haven't had any poking around down there is so long I can't remember the last time. and I'll be perfectly happy to never have any poking around down there again. when I had my ablation last year the nice woman surgical assistant assured me that my vulva would be covered with a sheet (they went in through the vein? artery? in my groin) for modesty's sake (most the team was male). I told her I wasn't concerned about that. oh, she asked, you have children? I mean, really. at our age, there have been plenty of men other than husbands not only looking at it but poking around inside it.

    and I have not listened to any of the confirmation hearings. what's the point? they're gonna pass her no matter what she says.

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    1. You are exactly right about the modesty business. I've worked at a birth center. I know how little modesty matters.
      You are also right about Ms. Amy. Trump likes her. She's in.

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  13. I'd say you earned the nap. First, there was the worrying about the test the night before. Then the test. Costco. Publix. As far as I'm concerned any trip to a grocery store is a royal PIA...much less one that included a trip to Costco. All in all. Exhausting. You have a free pass (or ten) for napping.

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    1. Thanks, Mary. I really could not keep my eyes open.

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  14. I am so glad the thing went well. Never know what they may determine when they poke around the nether regions. I had a blighted pregnancy - doctor did D&C without anesthesia because I was going to leave that afternoon with Dennis to sail up north. That was memorable, holy shit! Then she came in with the little angel placenta to show me how pretty it was. A science lesson after the climb the wall backwards Jesus Christ get me out of here event. No more poking around for me, nothing but cobwebs there now , and peace. A nap sounds just right!

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    1. EXCUSE ME?! She brought the placenta in after you got a D&C without anesthesia? That's just brutal. I am so sorry. The things women go through. It's insane.

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  15. My gynae usually talks about baking recipes when I've got my feet up in the stirrups. I guess that's one way to put you at ease right?

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    1. This tech and I talked about pregnancies and babies, mostly. I told her about my pregnancy dream. She laughed.

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