Woke up this morning from one of my house dreams but this one wasn't so bad. There was as much laundry to do as there usually is but somehow I didn't feel quite the time constraints as there normally are- the frantic rush to get a Sisyphean task completed in a few hours. And I had time to actually go through some of the beautiful things that had been left behind in the old house. A jewelry box with silk fans, embroidered with roses. silver pendents, lovely shoes left just where the former occupant of a room had left them. A beautiful straw bag that obviously been a souvenir from a tropical cruise, the straw as tightly woven and soft as it could be.
I am not sure at all where I think these people have gone in my dreaming house but everything is so old that whenever it was, it was long, long ago.
Still, even though the dream was not so bad and in fact, lovely in places, I was overtaken by anxiety as soon as my feet hit the floor. It's just so impossible to describe and in fact, when I'm not feeling it, it's impossible to quite remember, exactly as they claim the pain of childbirth is. Of course you can't remember exactly how pain feels. The sensation of it. But you by god can remember that it was something you'd not be too happy to go through again.
Same with anxiety, I guess.
But what can you do? One can't just start popping Ativan like candy.
Wouldn't be prudent.
So, despite the anxiety I got in the car with my husband and we drove to Monticello to go to the Supervisor of Elections to early vote and we got 'er done. There was no line but there were quite a few people there. I have no idea how my county is going to go this year. Twice we voted in Obama but then Trump took it big in 2016. There were about a hundred Trump signs on the way to Monticello which was horribly discouraging but that road has a whole lot of rich-ish white people living on it who like to pretend that they live on plantations. And we two democrats did our part.
After we voted we went to the Winn Dixie as we were out of things like milk and beer and that was not a pleasant experience. Monticello has no Publix, of course. Not big enough. And for awhile there, the Winn Dixie had spruced up and was a nicer place than it had been but it's slid right back down again. As in- I would not buy meat or seafood there. And wouldn't you know that about a third of the customers were not wearing masks? Jefferson County does not have a mask ordinance and although I saw several signs asking people to wear masks while shopping, it was obvious that some people just weren't having it. So I got out of there as quickly as I could.
And then Jessie came out to return something to her daddy so we got to visit for a little while. The boys ran for their Boppy, of course. I swear- it's like I'm not even here if he's here, which in a way, I love. It's so precious to me to see their mutual bond. And I know they love me just as I am beyond any doubt that they know that I love them. And after they spent some time together raking,
which the boys love to do for some reason and he left to go set a fence post at Lily's, they both ran to the library and asked for books. So of course I read to them, mostly Dr. Seuss today which is probably the most fun to read because of the rhymes and rhythms. Jessie and I told the boys about going to the beach which did not seem to excite either one of them a great deal. I showed them pictures from the rental site and they were interested in which bedroom would be theirs but beyond that, there wasn't too much of a reaction. Those boys are be-here-now gurus already in life and hearing about a future trip to the beach is just not nearly as exciting as the possibility of helping Boppy rake RIGHT THIS SECOND. I could learn a lot from them. And actually, I do.
And after they left, the actual nurse from the doctor's office called me and told me that the problem was not enough progesterone in my compounded hormones and that they'd be changing my prescription. That's what I figured- an imbalance and that's actually why the doctor wanted the ultrasound- to make sure that I was getting the right balance. I told her that I'd already scheduled a follow-up ultra-sound appointment for next February and she said, "Great!" and that was that.
So I feel better now and calmer. I do so wish that this Gee Dee Blogger would let me align left but it refuses to after I centered pictures so there you go. That's not very much of a problem in reality. But it is rather weird. I'm not writing poetry here.
And look! All of a sudden the words are going where they're supposed to go. Still won't let me correct what's already here though.
I know you will or already have but hey, people- VOTE! For the sake of life on earth and my own personal mental health- please. Vote.
Yay! Thanks for voting! I vote tomorrow and I can't wait! Go Blue!ReplyDelete
I wrote and lost a comment. Gist: I voted and got the official postcard to acknowledge. And yes on relearning to enjoy the moment, kids being good teachers there. Okay trying to post again..ReplyDelete
Thanks for going to the trouble to rewrite when your comment got lost. You are such a good soul, Boud.Delete
After due consideration, I will go to the polls. There are fewer than 400 registered voters in my precinct, so I don't expect a crowd at any time. If almost no one is there, I'll assume they all voted early!ReplyDelete
And thanks for voting.
I'm not saying that there's no way they can rig a vote if you vote in person but it's probably a little harder.Delete
Damn. I sound like I need a tinfoil hat.
I got off work a little early and picked up my husband and we went to vote....and the line at the ONE county office stretched around the building and there was nowhere to park. There must have been 30 or 40 people in line outside! So we came home and are considering when we can try again. I was so disappointed. We will manage to vote one way or the other, come hell or high water.ReplyDelete
Those crazy lines never happen in Britain. I guess it is because we have more polling stations in our communities and the fact that the checking process is very swift. The maximum amount of time you would have to wait in a British polling station is five minutes.Delete
stifling the vote is the purpose - to make it more and more difficult, because...REPUBLICANSDelete
Oh, Jennifer- that's just awful. I hope you two can find a time to go when the lines aren't that bad. And I know that you will vote, no matter what.Delete
YP- Yes. I'm sure you have more polling places. But our check-in procedure really doesn't take long. In my county, you show them your ID, they check it against the list, you sign and are given your ballot.
yes , well...VOTE Blue, if you are voting for the orange freak take a long drive off of a short pier, please.ReplyDelete
Forgot to mention that part, Linda Sue!Delete
I voted last week and mailed in ballot (I'm not worried about it)......so I am happy and happier every day. Levon is looking so boyish...and no longer baby-ish. And....I am so full right now! Hubby came home with freshly caught (this morning) blue fin tuna, which we sashimi-ed thinly and served with wasabi and soy........I made a big salad....and I am feeling like a queenly person after that meal. Damn, I'm ready for bed!ReplyDelete
Oh- that salad sounds amazing. My man needs to get out and catch us some fish for sure. Or else I need to get my ass to the fish market.Delete
I'm sure your vote is fine.
And Levon is looking like a boy, not a baby. My heart!
I love that picture of Levon. He is a proper little boy now. His baby features have disappeared. He looks so healthy and it's nice that he has a big brother he can emulate. They are going to love it over on St George.ReplyDelete
Levon does emulate his brother sometimes but it's his Boppy he's following here. Those two boys have such different ideas about what they need or want to do that Levon often goes off on his own way, his own play. For instance- August would probably not be very interested in moving dirt with toy trucks for hours on end but Levon surely is.Delete
Congratulations on getting your vote in! We are voting on election day and I do hope that is not a mistake. The last presidential election the line was around the building and wrapped around inside too. Given social distancing it could be a lot worse this year but it is definitely worth it!ReplyDelete
It sounds like Florida is like Missouri with the mask orders set by county. We thankfully, live in a county that requires masks but most of the counties around us do not. It seems to me they are defeating a lot of the purpose of masks when they are not required everywhere!
I'm glad to hear they are changing your prescription and maybe now you won't be as stressed about things. Blogger is giving me fits with the line spacing and I can't figure out how to do anything about it. It will decide to double space every other paragraph and it could care less what I want it to do!
I hope that when Biden is elected (see what I did there?) that there is a national mask mandate. For GOD'S sake! Let's get this thing under control. If they can require seatbelts, they can require masks.Delete
Yeah. We'll see what my new prescription changes. If anything besides the lining of my uterus.
Oh- to get your blog not to double space hit "shift/return" and it should single space. I learned that from Steve Reed. It's a pain but it works.
Thank you for the blog hint! And Amen! to a national mask mandate!Delete
I voted by mail, the last time a friend came to take the mail which I left outside the door...I understand about your anxiety, mine causes me not to sleep and I've been up for about sixteen hours now...ReplyDelete
Oh honey! I hope you've gotten some sleep by now!Delete
I took my ballot to the post office this morning--it is right across the street from the Board of Elections so the mail gets delivered straight from there without going through some processing center. Was going to put it in the Ballot Box outside the BOE but there were so many fricking T signs around it (so much for distancing at the polls)--I simply didn't trust it to be safe. How paranoid have we become? Well, how long has the jerk been in office? And how many people have been/are being disenfranchised by Republican right wingers? Will follow up next week to ensure my ballot is counted.ReplyDelete
Know what you mean about Boppy being the apple of the boy's eyes. Even though I am virtual schooling my 6yr old GS four days a week (and playing kickball, jenga, and cars on the floor during every break), Grandpa was off work on Monday and the minute 6 had a break from class he was trailing two steps behind him--the entire day. After schooling was done, 6 sat on GP's lap riding the tractor (wearing matching ear protection) and they mowed our acre. He was allowed to steer 90% of the time. Pure bliss. Happy about it as they don't get to see each other often.
Is that legal? To have one candidate's signs around the ballot box? That's terrible!Delete
I find myself being paranoid too, in situations that such thoughts never would have occurred to me four years ago.
That's a sweet story about your little man and your big man. I am sure that the day WAS pure bliss for him. And you got some time off!
I'm glad you voted. That's got to feel better. And I'm so glad they're adjusting your hormones and hopefully that will take care of the other problem. Fingers crossed for the followup exam!ReplyDelete
It's great to see the boys love their Boppy so much. I can remember enjoying tasks like raking when I was little too. I guess everything is new (and therefore an adventure) at that young age.
It's so sweet, watching those boys with their granddaddy, even if I do feel invisible sometimes. I asked August yesterday if he needed a Mer hug.Delete
"No," he said, and walked on.
Jessie said, "I'm sorry. I should have married a huggie bear of a man instead of an engineer." Or something like that. We laughed. But Vergil does hug.
Especially his boys.Delete
the second wave is starting and in a pandemic it is usually the 2nd wave that kills the majority of people. You baby boomers are all going to die of corona-virus and finally the world will be able to make progress when you boomers are all deadReplyDelete
Oh, fuck off. We'll be dead soon enough. Just be patient. In the meantime, figure out how in hell you're going to make all this progress.Delete
You voted, thank you Mary. My husband just came in and told me that in California, they set a ballot drop box on fire. Some things my brain simply wont compute, and this is one of them. Anxiety is the worst. I am glad your grand boys worked their magic on your soul. Levon is such a boy boy in the old sense of the phrase. Is that politically incorrect? I hope not. He's so dang cute.ReplyDelete
Two men were talking about ballots gone missing and so forth yesterday at the polling place. It's sickening. Just sickening. What have we come to?Delete
Levon IS a big boy and we tell him that all the time. And then he shows us his muscles to prove that he is. Actually, the kid is pretty strong. Digging turns out to be good exercise.
Well done for voting. Fingers crossed it goes the "right" way. And I'm glad they've got your hormones sorted. Good job you didn't opt for further treatment until then!ReplyDelete
I rarely remember my dreams these days.ReplyDelete
the next two weeks are are going to be interminable. and the next two months after Biden wins (because he just HAS to) are going to see they're last ditch effort to ram through all kinds of shit. I read something today that his appointees are trying to put all kinds of regulations in place mostly trying to make it impossible for Biden to undo what they have done. I don't see how they can do that but of course it won't stop them from trying.