Monday, January 29, 2018
It's Just Really Okay
Are you tired of the camellias yet? I hope not because I can't stop loving them. I made Owen really take a good look at them yesterday- the ones still on the bushes- and I made him see that there are many different varieties and I told him that I hope whenever he hears the word exquisite, he'll think of those camellias.
He probably won't but an old Mer has to try, you know?
Another day that slipped away while I was doing the small work of life. My dizziness has departed entirely and I wonder if it's truly gone or if it will decide to make another appearance. It's a bit odd- in the last years of her life, my mother's biggest problem and complaint was dizziness. She would say, "I'm dizzy as a drunk!" and then would make sure that her listener knew that she never drank so she didn't really know but that's how she felt.
Doctors could not seem to help her. She went to all kinds of them and she even did physical therapy for the problem and that didn't help either. It wasn't her inner ear and she didn't have a brain tumor and there just seemed to be no solution. I remember taking her to an ear, nose, and throat guy who just flat-out told her that as we age, things get weird and funky (okay, I'm paraphrasing) and that we just have to accept some things because modern science doesn't have the answer.
Boy, was she pissed off.
And boy, do I hope I don't have whatever it was she had. And if I do, I hope I have the grace to shut up about it occasionally.
That would be richly ironic though, wouldn't it?
So. Not dizzy and I took a decent walk after I'd shaken off my bizarre dreams and I went to the grocery store and did laundry and all of the regular stuff and now it's suddenly night and time to cook supper and I feel content and fine in all ways. Not ecstatic or melancholic or manic or depressed, just sort of...fine and good.
Which makes me very, very happy.
It also makes me happy that it's getting chillier again and this may be the first winter I've ever felt this way. Perhaps the cold days make me feel as if global climate change isn't that bad although I know that's a fucking lie and it's not logical but somehow, it's reassuring, like rain.
Also, it makes walking and working outside so much more comfortable.
And let's face it- after a certain age, comfortable is a hugely appreciated way to feel.
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Camellias and peonies are my two favorite flowers. They're just so dang gorgeous.ReplyDelete
never tired of the camellias. in fact you've inspired me to try and grow them again. when my grandkids were little, I would take them around the yard telling them the names of things. they didn't remember any of it but then they were younger than Owen. He's old enough to remember and to notice.ReplyDelete
The photo of the camellias is as luminous as an old masters painting.ReplyDelete
your camellias aways make me smile........they are just gorgeous beyond words and how blessed you are to look at them in their special vases and bowls. I recall them so fondly from childhood.......Mom had a green thumb and grew them, but didn't appreciate them as you (and all of us!) doReplyDelete
How can anyone get tired of flowers!!! My favorite are dahlias. I fell in love with them when I went to Washington state and my sisters neighbor had grown a field of different colored dahlias that were my height. When I bought my home I planted some in my garden but they only lasted one season. I’m sure I did something wrong. I can’t imagine having constant dizziness. 3 weeks was enough for me! I’m glad yours was better today. I forget to sign my comments sometimes but I think you know who I am by now and the style of my comments. I’ll figure out the google problem someday! JoanneReplyDelete
I have missed you so much this week but have thought of you each morning when I woke in Mexico where I traveled with the girls for few days. It was so extraordinary, and I do believe we should all move there pronto. Dizziness be damned.ReplyDelete
Your flowers are always so full and gorgeous.ReplyDelete
I suspect Owen will always remember you making him look deeply at camellias and it will be his favorite flower from here on.ReplyDelete
I can promise you that I will never get tired of your camellias, or your lovely still lives. Isn't it interesting that a still day is a good day these days? We don't ask for much. Comfortable sounds like heaven.ReplyDelete
Pity to any of us with the dizzy problems - I can take most aches and pains of aging but the vertigo episodes bring me to tears. I've had some luck with PT to readjust my inner ear fluids, and none with prescription meds for dizziness. Glad you have your balance back and hope it stays :)
camellias are incredible , also peonies and poppies, can never get enough!! Owen had a good lesson there! He will always remember.ReplyDelete
I'm glad the dizziness has departed. Who knows what's going on there. Hopefully it's gone never to return again.ReplyDelete
I always say never trust a person who doesn't drink.ReplyDelete
Hope the dizziness decamps soon.